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August 19, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Is It Ever ‘OK’ For an Officer to Shoot an Unarmed Civilian?

Officer who shot mike brownThere are a lot of heated discussions surrounding the shooting of Michael Brown, the unarmed African-American teen shot and killed by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri earlier this month (bringing back all-too-fresh memories of the killing of Trayvon Martin in Florida).

While we have yet to know why Brown was shot, if there is a “reason” at all, we now know the identity of the officer and, thanks to an autopsy conducted on Sunday, the exact amount of times Brown was shot.

28-year-old Darren Wilson controversially put two bullets in Brown’s head and four more in his right arm while, according to witnesses and other reports, his hands were in the air, not holding or reaching for a weapon of any kind.

The incident has been a huge source of controversy for the nation and an absolute nightmare for the police in St. Louis, who are under even more scrutiny for tear gassing protestors, not to mention that the KKK are reportedly raising money in support of Wilson.

While everyone is wondering how and why this happened in the first place, I’m specifically wondering if there’s ANY circumstance where a member of the police force could shoot an unarmed civilian and not be ostracized by most of America. Read more…

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August 18, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Ella Eyre – “Comeback”

It might seem unusual for a debut album to have a song called “Comeback” on it, but at only 20 years old, obvious Best Hair in Music-haver Ella Eyre makes it work.

It’s about a scoundrel who “comes back” after cheating, but instead of being a weak ass weak sauce bad-guy-taker-backer, she breaks his dishes, dissects his flatscreen with a guitar and lights his ride on fire. With a little help from her friends, of course.  Read more…

August 6, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Interview: Soulful Singer/Songwriter Jen Miller

This month, brilliant indie vocalist, ukulele master and all-around musical badass Jen Miller – representing Columbus, Ohio – tolerates my line of questioning for the second time around.

She covers the recording process, Kickstarter, her favorite bands, The Red Wedding, her quirky but beloved fans, how she’s grown as an artist and more. Read on, dinosaurs…

It’s been two years since you released your first EP on iTunes, what do you think the major difference between your new album, Overgrown, and Forget the Dirty Hearts is?

I think the major difference between the EP and the album is that I really got my hands dirty here. For the first EP, it was my first time in the studio. We did it all in one weekend and the songs didn’t really have a chance to ripen in the studio…we just recorded them as quickly and as well as we could in one 48 hour weekend.

This time around, I worked with a producer, Derek Snowden, who really helped me push my sound. Some days I would come in the studio and be like “Derek, I wrote a song last night! Let’s see what we can make of it!”, and that’s what we would do for the night. It would come in as vocals and a ukulele and get transposed to electric and banjo by the end of the night. That’s just how it goes. So the sound is definitely more developed and the songwriting more solid.

Kickstarter and YouTube seem to have been your friends over the years… What projects have you backed on Kickstarter? 

Kickstarter burnt an imaginary hole in my pocket for a second there. I actually found it thanks to Julia Nunes…I am a massive fan of hers and she and Israel Kamakawiwo’ole are the combined reason I started teaching myself uke. She crowdfunded her first 2 albums which I (of course) backed obsessively.

Who are you into of these days musically? Anyone you fangirl over who readers might not have heard of?

I AM FANGIRL CENTRAL. A little less crazy than the One Direction fans though. I riot less.

Huge fan of Ohio natives Twenty One Pilots…Allen Stone, Kate Nash (swoon), Ed Sheeran’s new album, Nina Nesbitt, Passenger and Stu Larsen.  Read more…

July 30, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Jennifer Lawrence ‘Too Famous’ For Love

Jennifer Lawrence and long-term British hubby Nicholas Hoult reportedly broke up because Lawrence is “in love with fame” and has an “exploded ego.”

I know explosive diarrhea goes away after a few hours and some form of hydration, but what’s the cure for an exploded ego?

I figure you make the subject churn butter with the Amish, or sing with nuns to remind them what it’s like to be a regular, non-recognized person, but if there’s anyone in Hollywood who seems to not need a course in being down-to-earth, it’s Jennifer Lawrence.

According to Celebrity Fix, fame-hating Hoult is now interested in indie starlet Riley Keough because his ex is just too good at her job A-list.  Read more…

July 25, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Horrible Movie Adaptation of Horrible Book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Has a Trailer

Remember when Fifty Shades of Grey was all the rage? You couldn’t throw a rock without hitting a woman with secretion-stained underwear daydreaming about Christian Grey blindfolding her and stuffing her with buttplugs in the back of his private jet.

The least-romantic story ever, about a man who is entitled to degrade women he barely knows because he’s rich and handsome, is so backwards it reminds me of an article I was just reading about how doctors used to diagnose horny women with hysteria. (It was also about crank-up dildos that look like a drill and blowdryer in one.)  Read more…

July 18, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Get Ready for a Female Thor and a Black Captain America

female thor black captain americaEvery year at Comic-Con we see bundles of gender and race-flipped superheroes, and now, to delight of cosplayers everywhere, female Thor and black Captain America are a reality in the Marvel universe.

Steve Rogers is passing his shield to Sam Wilson a.k.a Falcon (played by Anthony Mackie in The Winter Soldier) and Thor’s hammer is being picked up by a woman.

Introduced in 1969, Falcon was the second mainstream black superhero ever after Black Panther in 1966, and the first to hail from the U.S. As for Thor, we’ll have to wait until October to find out about the mysterious woman who takes the place of the original and what he did to no longer be worthy of the title.  Read more…

July 18, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Weird Al Parodies Robin Thicke, Iggy Azalea, Pharrell AND Lorde All In One Week

Weird al royals parodyIn 1996, after hearing a spot-on parody of “Gangster’s Paradise” on the radio, I bought a glorious tape by the man who wrote it, called Bad Hair Day. It didn’t change my life, but it was funny. I all but forgot about Weird Al until 2006’s brilliant comeback, Straight Outta Lynwoodbut the admiration never left.

The thing to respect about Yankovic besides his work ethic (he just dropped his 14th album), is that he’d rather go for a “poke in the ribs than a punch in the face,” which isn’t easy. Just ask any comedian.

Read more…

July 17, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Jenny Lewis – “Just One of the Guys”

Indie Folk songstress Jenny Lewis is promoting her first album in forever with a music video featuring two hated big name actress and one lesser known, less hated one.

Brie Larson wins the cutest-girl-in-bad-wankster-drag award while Kristen Stewart AND Anne Hathaway both miraculously manage to look exactly like Tina Fey in an SNL skit.
Jenny Lewis, Brie Larson, Kristen  Stewart Just One of the Guys Gif   Kristen Stewart just one of the guys gif
Lewis’ third solo album, The Voyager, drops July 29. She’s also opening for Beck on a handful of North American tour dates. (To me, she’ll always be Rita from Foxfire.)

July 15, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

‘Snowpiercer’ is a Much Grittier ‘The Hunger Games,’ For Railway Enthusiasts

Chris Evans snowpiercer still If you haven’t seen Snowpiercer yet, you need to, immediately. Here’s what it’s about, in case you saw it on one of those Best of 2014 lists and were still on the fence….

Basically, in the future – 2031 to be exact – the human race has decided to release a chemical into the atmosphere to cool the climate, but it works too well and freezes everything and the last few remnants of mankind are stuck on a train that circles earth once a year.

It’s based on a French graphic novel (Le Transperceneige), and is basically a much grittier, gorier South Korean version of The Hunger Games, except on a train.

With Chris Evans as Katniss (or Princess Elsa), Jamie Bell as Peeta, Tilda Swinton as Effy, and Ed Harris as President Snow. HUNGER TRAIN!
Frozen arm snowpiercer
The train circles the earth once a year and works on a horribly unfair class system, with the people at the back of the train eating roach protein and getting their arms frozen off and broken with sledgehammers by the rich sushi-eating folk at the front when they misbehave.

Brooding dude in a beanie Curtis (Captain America) decides to do something about it and break through the security gates to take control of the “eternal engine” with the help of an imprisoned drug addict and his clairvoyant daughter.  Read more…

July 15, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

President Engages in Hand-to-Hand With Gay Cashier

obama gay fistbumpA ballsy man working at Franklin Barbecue in Austin yelled “Equal rights for gay people!” in the vicinity of none other than the president, to which Obama turned and said “Oh, are you gay?”

The man, Daniel Webb, looked at him, cool as a cucumber and responded, “Only when I have sex.”

With even cooler presidential cucumber coolness, Bama held out his fist, knuckles out and said “bump me.”

July 11, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Trailer: Wild

Wild, filmed mainly in Oregon and from the director of Oscar-winning Dallas Buyers Club and the writer of An Education, is about a young woman who decides to go on a 1,000 mile hike after suffering major loss and becoming addicted to heroin. Read more…

July 11, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

The Next Time Your Parents Disapprove of Your Piercings, Show Them This…

huge cheek gauges Are you a young person whose parents are on the fence about you getting some measly bellybutton or industrial piercing? I think I may have a solution. Show them a picture of this German guy with 36mm cheek gauges

There’s a chance they’ll think whatever you want is just a gateway piercing to having your teeth show through the side of your face like post-burn Harvey Dent, but it’s worth a shot.

23-year-old Joel Miggler can stick his tongue out the holes and blow mass amounts of smoke out of them, looking very much like a human gas mask. I’m also pretty sure that at least 20% of the food he puts in his mouth falls right back out.

 

July 9, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Prince Fielder + EPSN Body Issue = Sexiest Cover of All Time

prince fielder body issue cover prince fielder body issue
Prince Fielder’s bear body and DGAF expression put the naked butts and boobs of fellow 2014 ESPN Body Issue cover models Venus Williams, Marshawn Lynch, [snowboarder] Jamie Anderson, Serge Ibaka and Michael Phelps to shame.

If you don’t want to ravish him on a fur rug, your face is a waste of good eye sockets. 

Read more…

July 8, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Nobody Smiles More Than Nicole Richie Being Walked Like a Dog by Britney Spears

Nicole Richie leash Britney spearsTwo of my great guilty pleasure loves are Britney Spears and also The Simple Life, specifically Nicole Richie because she was kind of a looney tune, but a conscious looney tune who didn’t give a crap about anything but getting high and saying made-up words in a chipmunk voice.

Britney Spears is my favorite because every song she makes sounds like porn.

Die-hard-fan-since-age-15 Richie recently visited The Tonight Show to talk about the she went to Vegas to see Britney and her dancers put a harness on her, brought her on stage and handed her leash to Britney, who proceeded to walk her like a dog and how it was the best moment of her life, better even than her wedding to that guy with a fedora glued to his head. Read: Crosby, Stills, Nash, and ‘Young’ Cover Iggy Azalea’s ‘Fancy’ on ‘Jimmy Fallon’

July 8, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Spit-Swapping Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez Dubbed ‘Zichelle’

Michelle and Zac kissing Michelle Rodriguez’s super-fun romance with Cara Delevingne has been replaced for the summer by a less-fun one with Zac Efron (there they are, making out in Italy), who has a really nice body but is boring as month-old apple pie.

Unlike Michelle, her temper and supermodel ex, Zac is almost “too perfect” for my liking. I believe him to be keeping screeching retards captive in his basement like that black lady on Desperate Housewives.

Apparently, Tumblr seems to think “Zichelle” consists of some crappy boy band kid named Zach Porter and gf Michelle Forget, but I’m here to tell you that this is the real Zichelle even though I see them lasting about as long as my desire to have chickens in my backyard. (I don’t have a backyard.)

 

 

July 7, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [7-7-14]


Miley Cyrus and The Flaming Lips make a compelling case for never doing LSD. (RS)

Don’t move to Chicago unless you want bullet holes in your thighs. (Gawker)

Beyonce’s dad is a huge broke horndog with multiple baby mamas. (TMZ)

 Posh Spice shared an awkward glance with Sam Jackson at a tennis match. (BuzzFeed)

Canadian couple too in love to notice hungry tornado behind them. (Yahoo!)

Joan Rivers thinks we all think Michelle Obama is a tranny. (Uproxx)

Taylor Swift’s “family” members look a lot like Emma Stone and Lena Dunham. (Vulture)

 

July 6, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

No Armbar Needed: Ronda Rousey DECIMATES Alexis Davis in 16 Seconds for Tenth Straight Win … Can Anyone Beat Her?

Ronda Rousey Alexis Davis fight gif UFC 175Ronda Rousey is a powerhouse, a beast and arguably the most exciting fighter to watch in either men or women’s MMA. She’s also so far ahead of her competition that only one of her ten fights has ever gone past the first round. Her latest bout against #2 seed Alexis Davis was surprisingly short, even for a Rousey fight. After a mere 16 seconds, she flipped a seemingly lifeless Davis on her back and popped her in the face about 7 times. The punishment she doled out was already too much for the refs to stomach, and it was over.

I’m starting to think the only way to make the fights fair is if Ronda’s opponents are on steroids, or if Ronda herself is horribly injured or plastered out of her mind. Seriously, I’d put $1000 on drunk Ronda over sober whoever on steroids. It still wouldn’t be a contest.

So far, only Miesha Tate and Liz Carmouche have come even remotely close to defeating Ronda. People still think early women’s MMA trailblazer-turned actress Gina Carano could pull a win out of the bag against her, but I’m a firm believer that the only woman who stands a chance is the one who brutally defeated Carano in 2009.  Read more…

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