Skip to content
January 31, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Trailer: Game of Thrones Season 5

All your favorite, scattered medieval peeps are returning in April and instead of finding each other they’re going to die get even more spread out! (See Varys and bearded Tyrion drifting towards the Khaleesi, Arya all by her lonesome in Bravos.)
  
Various websites keep telling me that season 5 may kill me be a “tough watch” for attached fans and Sansa is going to go through an “intense trauma,” so not only are more Starks going to die, but prepare to get bombarded with new characters like Oberyn’s daughters and brother, the High Sparrow and more!  Read more…

January 30, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Today, J.D. Salinger Would Have Been a Sex Offender

Jd salinger jean millerThe documentary Salinger on Netflix is very interesting, and not only because of the countless fans who would show up unannounced at J.D. Salinger’s house and leave notes asking for “some answer to something in their lives,” the journalist hired to sneak a photo of an aging, highly reclusive Salinger, or even John Lennon’s killer’s obsession with Catcher in the Rye that stuck me about the film. It was his repeated relationships with underage and much younger women, which are highlighted in detail for the duration of Salinger.

1. In 1941, at age 21, Salinger began dating 16-year-old Oona O’Neil, “debutante of the year” and daughter of Nobel prize-winning playwright Eugene O’Neill who was photographed by yesteryear’s paparazzi at clubs with a glass of milk because she wasn’t old enough to consume alcohol.

2. In May of 1946, not long after suffering a nervous breakdown during his time in WWII, Salinger met and married Sylvia Louise Welter, a member of the Nazi party. At 27, she was hardly underage, but this relationship is interesting not only because Salinger himself was Jewish but because it only lasted less than a month after they had returned to the States.

He didn’t try to kiss me or hug me or squeeze me or anything the way other people did. Maybe I was too old for him. I think he liked younger girls. I was only 7 years younger, I think maybe he preferred 12 years. Younger than that…

-Leila Hadley Luce, friend

3. At age 30, after his annulment to Sylvia Louise, Salinger began a platonic relationship with Jean Miller, then 14, who describes walking along the pier and sharing popcorn and ice cream with him. “I was fresh and new like a breath of spring,” she says.

4. Salinger met his second wife, Claire Douglas, when she was 19. They married when she was 21 and he was 36. The 15-year age difference wasn’t the problem, it was his refusal to attend to Claire or his children while writing Franny and Zooey in a shed on their property.

Thinking back on the guys who sat around the poker table, what distinguished Jerry out of that pack was that there was in him no doubt that he was going to be published, no doubt that he had an enormous talent, and no doubt that everybody else at the poker table was inferior to him.

-A.E. Hotchner, friend of both Ernest Hemingway and J.D. Salinger

5. In 1965, after Salinger, 54, published his very last story, he sent a letter to 18-year-old writer Joyce Maynard after she appeared on the cover of New York Times Magazine. They lived together shortly, but the relationship ended when Salinger told Maynard he was not interested in having any more children. She went on to write about her time with him, which of course made Salinger almost as irate as the time his editor put a comma in one of his short stories without his approval.

Read: Why Joyce Maynard Is Right About J.D. Salinger

 

 

 

January 30, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Is Bruce Jenner Actually Becoming a Woman?

Bruce Jenner transitionAfter reading countless gossip articles telling us basically that the Jenner/Kardashian patriarch Bruce Jenner is becoming a woman all because he likes to wear his hair in a ponytail, I decided the “news” was probably nonsense, but finally, after seeing him with, as the Washington Post points out, long highlighted hair, a French manicure, diamond earrings and lip gloss and his own stepdaughter Kim Kardashian confirming that he’s filming a docuseries about his “journey,” it seems that yes, Bruce Jenner is actually becoming a woman.

An Us Weekly source alleges that Bruce has wanted to transition from male to female, or at least enjoyed wearing women’s clothing, since his Olympic golden days.  Read more…

January 28, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Video: The Weeknd – “Earned It”

At 4 minutes and 36 seconds, The Weeknd’s version of Fifty Shades of Grey is better than the movie. And instead of being summed up by an entire book with scenes featuring tampons and buttplugs that apparently turned on every woman in the world except me, this music video can be explained with a single gif of Dakota Johnson playing with The Weeknd’s hair tuft.
the weeknd hair dakota johnson
Ellie Goulding has also released a song from the weirdly good Fifty Shades soundtrack AND a bonus Nike campaign video of her running in tights. You’re welcome.

January 28, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy to Write About [1-28-15]

Paris Hilton monkey whacking it gif

 No man or monkey is immune to Paris Hilton‘s feminine charms. (Uproxx)

Amada Peet (wife of creator David Benioff) hates Game of Thrones(Gawker)

33% increase in people being idiots with guns at the airport since 2013. (Mental Floss)

Eat as much fat as you can because it‘s delicious keeps you young. (MaxWorkouts)

Woman born with adactylia talks pros and cons of Freakshow’s Lobster Boy. (Jezebel)

One of Blink 182‘s lead singers is still in the band but refuses to tour or record. (Spin)

Football-playing children will grow up braindead. Might I suggest ballet? (Time)

The new Ghostbusters movie is basically Bridesmaids 2 with ghosts. (CinemaBlend)

January 28, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Nancy Grace Gets Panties in a Wad Over Marijuana Legalization for the 100th Time, Yells at Dr. Drew

nancy grace pot meme2 Chainz and Nancy won’t-listen-to-reason Grace made headlines when they duked it out over whether or not weed is dangerous, and of course 2 Chainz was the rational one.

In a new debate, Nancy made a fool of herself in front of Dr. Drew. (Though Dr. Drew almost beat her out on that front when he sorta kinda said he was for the legalization of meth.) Anyway, since not a lot of kids or women have gone missing or been shot lately, Nancy’s personal marijuana vendetta has grown into a Pacific Rim-sized monster that no one, not even Nancy herself, can put a stop to.  Read more…

January 26, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

‘Destiny,’ From a Girl Gamer’s Perspective

When discussing Destiny, the internet has pretty much all the bases covered. Flaws, pros, tips, except I haven’t read much about the game from a female perspective.

As someone who’s played steadily from its release date to now and participated in everything it has to offer – from weekly raids to crucible to strikes to tedious exotic bounties – I’d like to share my experiences.

There’s not as much harassment. Bungie has treated this game completely differently than its beloved Halo series by making it very difficult to verbally communicate with the many other gamers you encounter while playing. It’s a very social game, yet “meeting” new people has been limited to messaging, party invites and maybe opting for in-game voice chat, which I haven’t done because I’m usually already in a fireteam with friends. (Plus I have a feeling no one’s talking in there anyway.)  Read more…

January 26, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Emma Watson Cast as Belle in ‘Beauty and the Beast’

Feminist/actress/down-to-earth sex symbol Emma Watson has been cast as Belle in a live action version of Beauty and the Beast directed by Bill Condon of Breaking Dawn, uh, fame.

Can’t wait for Belle to be pregnant with Beast’s baby and have to sacrifice Mrs. Potts (voice of Meryl Streep, obviously) to it. Speaking of that, how on earth are they going to depict talking clocks and dishware? Will the feather duster still get it on with the candlestick?

Are they going to do my favorite Disney movie justice or is it just Fifty Shades of Grey with an animal twist. Like the highest budget donkey show ever…  Read more…

January 24, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

America is the 18th Fattest Country

The United States are in trouble. ISIS and Justin Bieber are still at large, Men are having just as much plastic surgery as women and I keep forgetting which side of the kitchen the silverware drawer is on. On top of all that, we’re not even good at being fat anymore.

Yes, a study pulled using CIA obesity statistics tells us that America, land of the hydrogenated oil spongebath and McDonald’s apple pie enema came in 18th on a list of the fattest countries after Samoa, Nauru, The Cook Islands and a bunch of other names I can’t pronounce because I’m illiterate and overweight but not illiterate and overweight enough to make it to number one.  Read more…

January 22, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Dan Castellaneta Does 26 ‘Simpsons’ Voices

Simpsons voice chart
Hank Azaria is frequently and rightfully praised for his voice acting on The Simpsons, where he embodies Moe, Apu, Cletus, Snake and many more, BUT let’s not forget that Dan Castellaneta is the voice of 26 regulars including Homer since its 1989 premiere.

I’d like to see charts for H. Jon Benjamin, the lead on both Archer AND Bob’s Burger’s, and John DiMaggio (Jake The Dog on Adventure Time and Bender on Futurama).

January 21, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Tatiana Maslany and Rooney Mara Up For Big ‘Star Wars’ Role

Emmy-less Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black) and Oscar-less Rooney Mara (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) are both up for a leading lady position on the next, next Star Wars movie. NOT this year’s The Force Awakens, but the one from 2015 directed by Gareth Edwards, looking to redeem himself for that Godzilla reboot. British actress Felicity Jones (Autobahn, The Theory of Everything) is also screen testing for the job.

In a perfect world Mara, Maslany and Jones are testing for a role as Mara Jade Skywalker from Timothy Zahn’s awesome Star Wars books, the Thrawn trilogy, which should honestly serve as source material for any new SW movie.

Tell me you don’t agree after reading this description of Zahn’s Heir to the Empire:

It’s five years after Return of the Jedi: the Rebel Alliance has destroyed the Death Star, defeated Darth Vader and the Emperor, and driven out the remnants of the old Imperial Starfleet to a distant corner of the galaxy. Princess Leia and Han Solo are married and expecting Jedi Twins.

The Thrawn trilogy has been credited by many for keeping Star Wars going and was the only known remedy for people with debilitating post traumatic Phantom Menace disease.

In the off chance that they are actually auditioning to play Mara Jade, Google Image Search suggests we picture them in Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow costume from Iron Man 2 and The Avengers… 
orphan black attack of the clonesRead: Why Tatiana Maslany Should Be On Your Radar Read more…

January 17, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

‘Scooby-Doo’ Characters as Old People

scooby doo characters old
I had three recurring nightmares as a kid. One where I was being chased by a headless witch, another where I was being chased by a woman with a basket full of blueberries (a good dream by my current standards) and another where I was being chased by BASICALLY EVERY GHOST AND MONSTER FROM SCOOBY-DOO. 

Read more…

January 17, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Marilyn Manson is a Reclusive Cat Lady

Marilyn Manson loves catsIn a New York Times profile on Marilyn Manson’s “phoenix rising” music and acting career, we learn details so mundane they’re actually startling.

Firstly, Manson gave up the drink he mentioned in pretty much every interview prior to this one (absinthe) to get in better shape, and was inspired to do so by Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy. 

He’s also best friends with Johnny Depp, enjoys Sisqo’s “The Thong Song” and loves his cat Lily more than anything in this world.

Otherwise, Marilyn Manson is a bit of a homebody, preferring to watch TV and movies or paint. His dearest companion is his 11-year-old danderless cat, Lily White. “She is definitely the one true center of my universe,” he said, scrolling through photos of her on his phone. “It’s the closest thing, I guess, to having a child.”

Enjoy this picture of Michael C. Hall rescuing a cat from a roof and imagine fellow unexpected cat ladies Snooki, Manson and Russell Brand there lending a hand.

January 16, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Woman Keeps an Arsenal of Useful Items in Her Bra

Some women keep money in their bras, or weed, like my best friend. Others take it to another level… Watch this magician in action as she pulls a flash, a fifth of vodka and a whole bunch of keys out from under her boob like it’s nothing.
woman pulling things out of bra  woman keys and vodka in bra
Couldn’t even tell any of that stuff was in there, could you? (Via Grouchy Muffin)

January 16, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Ross Geller is Khloe, Kim, Kourtney and Rob’s Father

ross robert kardashianDavid Schwimmer – the man we will probably always know as Ross Geller from Friends – is playing Robert Kardashian in an FX series created by Ryan Murphy called American Crime Story, which is the same concept as American Horror Story but with less dead people, more court cases and just as many famous people (Sarah Paulson, Cuba Gooding Jr.). The first season tells the story of O.J. Simpson from the perspective of those involved with the case, also focusing on the police’s “history with the African-American community in Los Angeles at the time.”

Read more…

January 16, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy to Write About 1-16-15


Lorde is a drunk because of Taylor Swift. (Jezebel)

Tap your foot to Sleater Kinney’s “No Cities to Love.” (Spin)

Man reunited with dog after 4 years of agony. (Reddit)

Business is booming for professional bridesmaids. (Pix 11)

Jamie Lynn Spears is good with knives under pressure. (TMZ)

People will hate you less if you whack it on the daily. (Evil Beet)

Ian Somerhalder is really, really off the market. (E! News)

Victim’s case almost solid enough to send Cosby to jail. (Gawker)

Miley Cyrus took a shower. (Refinery 29)

January 14, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

John Travolta Doesn’t Bring His Hair to the Gym

John travolta baldCelebrities meet and snap photos with fans on a daily basis, so what’s unique about this encounter specifically? Well, two things… One, the fan in the photo confirmed that John Travolta works out at 3 a.m. and it warms my heart to know that he’s a night owl like myself and that successful people can stay up late and still get shit done, unless he fell asleep at like 7 p.m. and woke up super early, in which case he’s dead to me and I’m done saying all those masseuses were lying.

Read more…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 583 other followers