Robert Pattinson Is A Big Rugged Sasquatch
This villainous R-Patz face and chin merkin made an appearance in September but was thwarted by the heroic efforts of our savior: A PAIR OF SCISSORS, SHAVING CREAM, HOT WATER AND A RAZOR.
Plus restraints may also have been used to hold the British lycanthrope (werewolf) down for ultimate face-smoothing results.
I mean, it’s not like Robert Pattinson is ever without a little five o’clock shadow, not to mention eye bags deeper than Trump’s pockets and hair as greasy as Paula Deen’s skillet BUT beards are never a good idea…
Name one man with a beard of this density who is attractive. Just one. One guy who doesn’t turn into a sad bloated bison as soon as the hairs grow a few inches. I like dogs and all but seeing them stand on two legs is just surreal.