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October 25, 2011 / Hallie Madenski

Jessica Simpson Is Ten Kinds Of Pregnant!!

Jessica Simpson has neither confirmed or denied her pregnancy and as far as I’m concerned SHE DOESN’T NEED TO.

It is clearer than Perry and Bieber post-Proactiv that Jessica is ten thousands billion kinds of pregnant. She’s been harboring the seed of Eric Johnson (former 49ers tight end) for at least four months now.

You’re all morons for even wondering if she’s with child, because that belly certainly isn’t the result of an early thanksgiving meal or a significant need to go number two.

Johnson and Simpson have been engaged since November of 2010 but have still not tied the knot. (Probably because she can no longer fit into her cliche Vera Wang body sheath)

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