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April 23, 2012 / Hallie Madenski

My Cat Is Preparing Me For A Satanic Ritual

You see that red “X” on that hideous pasty highway of veins and moles? That’s my arm and a mark of the beast, put there by my closest confidant and abusive advisor, Raisin, the 18 pound wonky-eyed Siamese.

Obviously he’s put this scratch on my skin as a sort of map for the occult. A place to bury a microchip, store a Friskies treat, or insert the adamantium.

It also looks like I’ve been indulging in some form of self-mutilation.

If I ever left the house, people would see this and feel sad as they picture me sitting at home teary-eyed watching muted Ahh Bra infomercials with a tack to my flesh.


Leave a Comment
  1. Lizzie / Apr 23 2012 4:17 pm

    By the way your cat is cute, can i have him BFF…. Its my BDAY TODAY AIGHT!


    • Hallie / Apr 23 2012 5:31 pm

      Happy birthday! I hope the insane asylum gives you a nice pizza and cake.


      • Lizzie / Apr 23 2012 8:51 pm

        Haha, they let me out for my birthday…………


  2. Lizzie / Apr 23 2012 4:16 pm

    My friends cat scratched my brothers weiner so consider yourself lucky!


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