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April 28, 2012 / Hallie Madenski

‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Excerpts (NSFW)

Fact: E.L. James (penname of Erika Leonard) once used the name Snowqueens Icedragon. Her bestselling typo-ridden erotica novels, the Fifty Shades Of Grey trilogy, was originally written as Twilight fanfiction and is huge right now.

The books are number one two and three on the New York Times Bestseller in four categories and movie rights have already been sold to Focus Features and Universal Studios.

James has also been listed as one Time’s 100 Most Influential People, all for a book centering around a virginal recent college graduate (Anastasia) who falls in love with BDSM billionaire Christian Grey.

He presents his new lover, Anatasia, with a special S&M contract with many dominance-related stipulations.

People who hate whatever happens to be the “big thing” in current literature, (be it Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code, Twilight or The Hunger Games) might have more beef with this than anything in the past.

Here are some reasons…you’ll see how fitting it is that the safeword is “red” after one memorable line in these excerpts:

“He steps out of his Converse shoes and reaches down and takes his socks off individually. Christian Grey’s feet… wow… what is it about naked feet?”

“’You’re very beautiful, Anastasia Steele. I can’t wait to be inside you.’ Holy shit. His words. He’s so seductive. He takes my breath away.”

“’I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele,’ he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex.”

“’Don’t hesitate,’ he admonishes me softly, an undercurrent in his voice, and he pops the balls in his mouth. Fuck, this is sexier than the toothbrush.”

“Not taking his eyes off mine, he scrunches my panties in his hand, holds them up to his nose, and inhales deeply.”

“’When did you start your period, Anastasia?’ he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me. ‘Err… yesterday,’ I mumble in my highly aroused state. ‘Good.’ He releases me and turns me around.”

“‘Hold on to the sink,’ he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the play room, so I’m bending down. He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.”“He runs his fingers down my pigtails. ‘You look so young with these,’ he murmurs and moves forward.”

“’I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.'”

Read: Fifty Shades Darker Excerpts (NSFW)

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9 Comments

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  1. Brittany / Sep 3 2012 10:58 am

    Yes, because every woman wants a man to take her tampon out. That gets me going.

    Like

  2. boner / May 26 2012 9:57 pm

    boner boner boner boner boner boner boner

    Like

  3. Holly / May 23 2012 12:51 am

    I caught my mom with a 18′ dildo while reading this book tonight, I was freaked out she has never sHaved I guess.

    Like

    • E. Amos / Jul 21 2012 10:27 am

      An 18 foot dildo? Holy shit.

      Like

    • Eddy / Oct 1 2012 9:42 pm

      I think I may of seen your mother at a circus once . . . I was a little freaked out too, never realize a woman could grow a beard like that. (I can’t believer you hadn’t noticed earlier).

      Like

    • E. Amos / Oct 1 2012 9:47 pm

      Your comment is raising all sorts of questions for me . . . do you mean you literally caught her with the 18 foot dildo, like those dog catchers use to catch vicious dogs? Or did you hit her over the head like a whack-a-mole with it? And who was reading the book, you or her? Regarding her facial hait, I’m not sure how that fits in but don’t be freaked out, my mom get’s a five o clock shadow when she doesn’t shave twice a day.

      Like

  4. Lizzie / Apr 29 2012 4:56 pm

    Why read when you can see it on HD or 3D or on the big screen!

    Like

  5. Bertram Gonads / Apr 28 2012 11:44 pm

    roflcoptr

    Like

  6. Gwen / Apr 28 2012 11:18 pm

    This video is so funny! Thanks…

    Like

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