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October 10, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Amanda Bynes is Still Crazy and High as F*ck, Apparently

Amanda Bynes band aid faceAmanda Bynes is back at it! NY Daily News and TMZ have a video of Bynes doing a bizarre dance in front of her driver at a snooty clothing store on Wednesday before moving on to another snooty clothing store (Barney’s) to get a five-finger discount on a hat.

I repeat, “bizarre dance in front of her DRIVER,” which means she’s moved on from DUIs to petty theft!

Reports suggest that Amanda’s love for weed is to blame, as she was kicked out of fashion school for laughing out loud for no reason and was also seen “visibly high” and “painting her face with excessive amounts of makeup” at a restaurant. She also talks to trees.  Read more…

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October 7, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

‘7th Heaven’ and ‘Revolution’ Actor May go to Jail for Child Molestation

Stephen Collins, who played a reverend on the long-running series 7th Heaven, the president in Falling Skies and a doctor on Revolution and No Ordinary Family is under investigation for molestating multiple underage girls ages 11 to 13.

Collins confessed to the crimes in therapy sessions with his wife that were recorded in 2012 and leaked to TMZ. In the sessions, he admits to exposing himself to a neighbor, a relative of his first wife and another girl from New York.

His wife, Faye Grant, is currently in the process of divorcing him, but claims to have had nothing to do with the leak. (Not that anyone would blame her for wanting the world know.)  Read more…

October 7, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m too Lazy to Write About [10-7-14]

  

Nicki Minaj and Beyonce dance their asses off for equality in “Flawless.” (BuzzFeed)

Mariah Carey cryptically says Nick Cannon is a cheating manwhore. (TMZ)

Raven Symone is not gay or African-American, she’s just human. (The Blaze)

THE EVOLUTION OF SKANKY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!! (Grouchy Muffin)

JLaww says nude photos are natural result of long distance relationship. (VF)

Amanda Bynes is engaged to a 19-year-old fishing pole salesman. (Gawker)

Get ready, American Horror Story: Freak Show premieres tomorrow! (Hypable)

October 7, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Nick Hogan is the First Male ‘Celebrity’ in iCloud Hack

Nick Hogan hacked icloudNick Hogan – a guy famous for a dad in spandex, a bikini-clad sister and boy-chasing mom – is the latest victim of the celebrity iCloud hack that Jennifer Lawrence, Rihanna and Kim Kardashian fell prey to.

You’d really think the male counterparts to those names would be something more like, I dunno, Joe Manganiello, Jason Momoa, Vin Diesel, Taylor Lautner… maybe Nick Jonas (and his pepperoni nipples). But instead we get the spray tan kid, d-listing it up.

Definitely not the last person I’d expect to have their junk leaked though.

 

 

 

 

 

October 3, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

The Pros and Cons of ‘Destiny’

wizard came from the moon shirtI’ve been playing Destiny basically nonstop since its release last month, and if you follow video games at all or have the misfortune of dating/best-friending a gamer, you’ve probably heard mixed things about it.

Quick rundown for noobs: Destiny is a space-themed shooter made by Bungie, the creators of Halo and Marathon and narrated by Tyrion Lannister. As you can imagine, with the notoriety of Bungie combined with Activision (the publisher of Call of Duty) and the unheard of $500 million budget, the expectations were higher than high.

Unfortunately, Destiny failed to deliver in a lot of really noticeable ways.   Read more…

October 3, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Maroon 5 – “Animals”

This completely unoriginal video, released 3 days ago, is apparently controversial.

A spokesperson for RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) are calling the video – which features Adam Levine creeping on real-life wifey/10,000th-model-he’s-bedded Behati Prinsloo – “a dangerous depiction of a stalker’s fantasy.”
 
I, on the other hand, believe that the majority of people have enough sense to differentiate harmless, horror-themed imagery from instructions on how to stalk and kill women, but then again, they are watching Maroon 5 videos in their spare time…
Adam Levine kissing Behati animals gif Adam Levine kissing gif
I personally found the video of him making babies with Minka Kelly more upsetting.

(Not sure if bad kisser or intentionally slobbering to make video grosser…?)

October 2, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Is Kendall Jenner MORE FAMOUS than Kim Kardashian?

Kendall jenner headlines
According to the internet, fashionista Kendall Jenner is smitten with Chris Brown while simultaneously trying to steal Justin Bieber from Selena Gomez and become a Victoria’s Secret Angel while jealous models put cigarette butts in her lattes.

Lately Kim Kardashian has been reduced to boring mom updates while the eldest Jenner streamrolls straight over her and into the spotlight.

Big asses are so 2013. It’s all about “extreme side boob.”  Read more…

October 1, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Sarah Silverman on Vape Pens, The Emmys, Drunks and Bush Water

Sarah Silverman Howard Stern show 2014After listening to Sarah Silverman on Howard Stern for the zillionth time, I’m realizing that the woman famous for lines like “I don’t care if you think I’m racist, I just want you to think I’m thin,” is not only hilarious, but also kind of on the top of my previously non-existent list of celebrities I’d actually want to spend time with.

On the Stern Show (September 23), real role model and imaginary bestie Silverman managed to transform stories on superficial things like dating Michael Sheen, showering under her mother’s bush and vape pens into hilarious well-worded wisdom on aging and body image.

On her infamous, random Emmys speech:

I’m always obsessed with the thought that we are hurling through space right now.

Getting older:

I’m in training for the rest of my life to be able to walk without pain. I just want to be healthy.

My skin is the loosest it’s ever been, and it’s only gonna get looser.

Her scene in Masters of Sex, starring boyfriend Michael Sheen:

Ever since I turned 40 I’ve been naked in things. It’s just a human body and I just kind of am over it.

Sheen’s ex-wife, Kate Beckinsale:

You know what, it’s more like ‘Oh my God, look at all these beautiful women and he loves ME.

He and Kate are like brother and sister. I love her, she’s hilarious.


Marijuana vs. Alcohol:

People made a really big deal about it, and I feel like in a few years it won’t be a big deal. Listen, I think of myself as a stoner but the truth is, I’m a total lightweight. I’ll have a puff or two puffs at the end of the night and it’s so funny that’s such a big deal because I’m literally milling around with drunk terrifying people. Drunk people are so scary to me. I don’t even want to make eye contact with them, it’s trouble. They’re trouble. If you look at them the wrong way all their fears come to the surface. You know when drunk people go ‘Oh you think you’re better than me?’ and it’s like, ‘No, that’s what you feel and it’s coming out,’ you know?

I’m not someone who’s like, gonna crusade to legalize pot. It’s not important enough to me, but it is ridiculous. It should be legal. All that shit should be legal.

Read more…

September 30, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

WATCH Mike Tyson Call a Reporter a ‘Piece of Sh*t’ on Live Television

I know this is old news, but Mike Tyson semi recently “saved” a guy who crashed his motorcycle in Vegas, and I wanted to remind everyone with this Canadian interview from earlier this month that while Mike Tyson is totally entertaining, he’s also a psychopath.

The lone face-tatted ranger reportedly pulled over to help a man who suffered multiple severe injuries such as broken bones and nerve damage until paramedics arrived.  Read more…

September 24, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Turns Out, Uneducated Pervs DIDN’T Try to Ruin Emma Watson’s Awesome Speech On Feminism

You may have heard about Emma Watson’s extremely insightful and empowering speech to the U.N., which was about equality and feminism being one and the same.

You ALSO may have heard that a bunch of trolls threatened to leak naked pictures of Watson to somehow make her seem like less of a feminist.

The people behind the countdown to Watson’s nude leak were actually a marketing group hired to shut down 4Chan and end the constant invasion of privacy from the hackers behind the Jennifer Lawrence scandal.  Read more…

September 21, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Stand by for Maximum Butts: J-Lo and Iggy Azalea Made a Video Together…

Jlo Iggy azalea bootyThe oldest butt and the newest joined forces for a song called, get ready for it, “Booty.” A middle-eastern tune best served after repeated viewings of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” the “Dance (Ass)” remix and Kim Kardashian’s entire Instagram.

Seriously, how many simple-minded men have to die of heart problems all so Jennifer Lopez can feel superior to Kim and Nicki?

You know she came up with this concept after turning around in the mirror asking Evil Queen-style who has the roundest derriere of all?  Read more…

September 21, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Miesha Tate Beats Japan’s Best For Second Win This Year

Miesha Tate rin nakai statsRonda Rousey nemesis Miesha “Cupcake” Tate flew way out West on Saturday to challenge previously undefeated fighter Rin Nakai for and closed UFC Fight Night 52 with her second unanimous win of 2014.

It wasn’t as easy of a fight as you would expect for Miesha, whose record was tarnished last year when she fought and lost to both Rousey and Cat Zingano.

At 5’1″ and 135 pounds of pure muscle, Rin Nakai is probably the most formidable women’s MMA opponent in Japan, but her much shorter reach proved too great an obstacle to overcome, with 5’6″ Tate out-grappling and out-striking her every time.

Click HERE to watch the FULL FIGHT

The fairly fast-paced fight went to the third round, when most expected to see an early KO or submission from the super versatile Tate, who has finished opponents with everything from armbars to head kicks. Ultimately, Nakai underestimated the woman who took Ronda Rousey to a third round, and the judges took notice. Read more…

September 20, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Trailer: Big Eyes

After years of tackling bizarre films about scissor-handed bondage enthusiasts, apes in space, Dracula and other monsters, almost all exclusively starring Johnny Depp, Tim Burton has turned over a new leaf. Title aside, Big Eyes is being billed as Tim Burton’s most “normal” movie since Big Fish, which, if you recall, still featured a giant and a witch.

Sans monsters and Depp, the movie is based on the real-life story of an artist (Amy Adams) whose husband (Christoph Waltz) took credit for her work in ’50s/60s-era San Francisco.

Read more…

September 17, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Jennifer Lawrence’s Legal Team, Like All Legal Teams, Are Total Assholes

So I got an email today from Jennifer Lawrence’s lawyer and I also stepped in poop. The poop thing is obviously much worse, but not really a story.

The email stated that I need to remove a completely censored image of Jennifer, one of the many from her widespread hacked nude photo scandal and also my entire article.

Let me just say that, like my fat cat Raisin (the one whose poop I stepped in), her lawyers are sweet but also completely misguided and derpy. Believing they can actually stop the photos from being shared and seen leads me to believe that – also like Raisin – THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE INTERNET WORKS.  Read more…

September 16, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Meet Hefe Wine, the Man Behind the Alleged Iggy Azalea Sex Tape…

Hefe wine iggy azalea exThe only people who have seen Iggy Azalea’s sex tape at this point seem to be the “businessmen” over at Vivid Entertainment, who think the tape could actually be worth millions of dollars, possibly even more than saucer-eyed knob-polishers Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.

The only people BESIDES of course Iggy herself and her co-star, former boyfriend and manager combo Hefe Wine.

Azalea is busy denying the tape’s existence while her lawyers are busy telling TMZ that it was filmed “without her knowledge or consent” and Hefe is busy pretending like he had nothing to do with it ending up at Vivid.

There’s also word that Iggy – known back then as Amethyst Amelia Kelly – may have accidentally signed over the rights to it to the douchey ex. (Which is bullsh*t, because the contract only related to music and music-related videos.Read more…

September 15, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [9-15-14]

Columbian cycling team naked
Women’s cycling team are blissfully unaware of their seeming naked-ness. (Daily Mail)

Lindsay Lohan may have touched Whitney Houston’s corpse. (TMZ/Jezebel)

15 fun (and scary) things you didn’t know about Friday Night Lights. (Uproxx)

Martha Stewart goes gangster on Gwyneth Paltrow. (Evil Beet Gossip)

And the undisputed BEST SENIOR PHOTO OF ALL TIME goes to…. (Grouchy Muffin)

Tyler, The Creator compares Apple’s “gift” of new U2 album to herpes. (Stereogum)

OITNB writer divorces husband for lady love/OITNB star Samira Wiley. (Vulture)

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