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July 6, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

No Armbar Needed: Ronda Rousey DECIMATES Alexis Davis in 16 Seconds for Tenth Straight Win … Can Anyone Beat Her?

Ronda Rousey Alexis Davis fight gif UFC 175Ronda Rousey is a powerhouse, a beast and arguably the most exciting fighter to watch in either men or women’s MMA. She’s also so far ahead of her competition that only one of her ten fights has ever gone past the first round. Her latest bout against #2 seed Alexis Davis was surprisingly short, even for a Rousey fight. After a mere 16 seconds, she flipped a seemingly lifeless Davis on her back and popped her in the face about 7 times. The punishment she doled out was already too much for the refs to stomach, and it was over.

I’m starting to think the only way to make the fights fair is if Ronda’s opponents are on steroids, or if Ronda herself is horribly injured or plastered out of her mind. Seriously, I’d put $1000 on drunk Ronda over sober whoever on steroids. It still wouldn’t be a contest.

So far, only Miesha Tate and Liz Carmouche have come even remotely close to defeating Ronda. People still think early women’s MMA trailblazer-turned actress Gina Carano could pull a win out of the bag against her, but I’m a firm believer that the only woman who stands a chance is the one who brutally defeated Carano in 2009.  Read more…

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July 3, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Nicki Minaj’s Feud With Iggy Azalea is Nonexistent

Iggy Azalea Nicki Minaj crazy facesGiant white Australian ass vs. giant New York ass, also known as up-and-comer Iggy Azalea vs. Nicki Minaj, is not a thing. After that phantom conglomerate we call the internet automatically assumed the parts of Minaj’s BET Awards speech about authenticity and songwriting were aimed at fellow Best Female Hip-Hop Artist Nominee Azalea, Minaj took to Twitter to clarify that her words were actually not directed at anyone in particular.

According to her, we put the shade in her hand and threw it for her / on a beef scale of 1 to 10, this is a turkey sub.  Read more…

June 29, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Dog-Like Cat Jumps 5 Feet to Greet Owner

deployed soldier catIn the most suspenseful video of 2014, a meowing cat impatiently waits for his soldier owner to arrive after being deployed for months.

The viewer takes on some of the cat’s anxiety, as it feels like it takes FOREVER for the door to open and the dude to walk in, set down a box, and catch the cat in the air as he leaps into his arms. So cute.

I relate to this. The last time I was downtown I did the same thing to a stranger but that was mostly because they had a cheese blintz in their hand. Begging them to adopt me and let me live in their pool house was probably mistake, but I don’t regret stealing the blintz.  Read more…

June 29, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

How Link From ‘Legend of Zelda’ Got His Name

Link legend of zelda stillEver wonder why the character in one of the most beloved video game franchises of all time is called “Link”? Well, a video posted to YouTube channel Did You Know Gaming? has the answer.

While many fans speculated for years that it’s simply because he’s the “bridge between the player and the game,” that’s not entirely correct. Turns out, Link is named “Link” due to an element from the early conception of Zelda that creator Shigeru Miyamoto never ended up actually incorporating in the final product.  Read more…

June 28, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Angel Haze is WAY More Than Friends With Ireland Baldwin, Get it Right

Angel Haze girlfriend An interview with the Independent more than indicates that lady rapper Angel Haze is really really tired of the media confusing her romance with Ireland Baldwin for a run-of-the-mill friendship.

Haze, who met Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger’s 18-year-old daughter at New York Fashion Week months ago and has been sharing adorable couple-y photos on Instagram ever since, said “I don’t know if there’s like some confirm or deny thing with the way relationships work in the media, but everyone just calls us best friends, best friends for life, like we’re just friends hanging out.”

She called it “funny” but added that it also “sucks,” continuing on with a slightly explicit rant about how “friends don’t f*ck” and to STFU because they definitely do, all the time.

Read more…

June 27, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Miranda Lambert – “Somethin’ Bad” feat. Carrie Underwood

Oh my God I could care less about 90% of country music, but the ho’ed-out wives of Blake Shelton and Mike Fisher shook their knees in front of motorcycles and played poker with guys in fedoras for one of the most over-produced music videos ever and I’m pretty sure it’s under 3 minutes long because they ran out of money for bronzer. Read more…

June 27, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Rihanna for Harper’s Bazaar Arabia, 2014

rihanna arabia coverJust realized I haven’t talked about Rihanna in a while because I thought if I prayed hard enough in silence for her Instagram account to reappear I might get a response because summer is here and I desperately need to know which monokini has the best slits and what beach provides equal parts shade and sun for eating pineapple slices off Cara DeLevingne in an MDMA haze.

An Instagram account isn’t even the only thing we’re mourning, Rihanna has sadly been enjoying her break from album-recording, and will probably not release her usual CD in November.

No diamonds, no men down, no broken dishes…  Read more…

June 26, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

‘Life After Beth’ is Aubrey Plaza’s ‘Warm Bodies’

Aubrey Plaza zombie movieAs far as zombie comedies go, there’s Zombieland with its famed rules of escape, British zomedy Shaun of the Dead, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, Planet Terror, Zack Snyder’s super gory Dawn of the Dead remake etc.

The latest, Life After Beth, has two parents (John C. Reilly and Molly Shannon) and a boyfriend (Dane DeHaan) dealing with the reality of their beloved (Aubrey Plaza) rising from the grave.

It’s essentially Warm Bodies with a gender reversal, only one zombie and a focus on the former human’s newfound appetite for flesh. Or Jennifer’s Body advertised properly, with queen of one-liners/Parks and Rec show-stealer as the dead girl.

In theaters August 15. Click HERE to watch the trailer.  Read more…

June 26, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Funny Video: Cheating Prank Gone Wrong

Czech “Viral” brothers Erik and Čeněk are no strangers to the cheating prank, but their latest gag has a surprise twist that is equal parts disturbing and hilarious. WATCH!

(I really have no idea how, after all these years, they don’t both assume everything is a prank.)

June 26, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Wanda Sykes and I Miss the Old Beyonce


Wanda Sykes was on Watch What Happens a few Tuesdays ago to air her grievances about the “new” Beyonce. You know, the one who left her man-hating Destiny’s Child sisters in the dust in favor of solo man-worship and a baby suspiciously named after an invasive weed.

My favorite comedian is specifically disturbed by the thought of Jay-Z’s “ashy penis,” but I just miss Kelly and Michelle’s matching halter tops and synchronized hand waving.

Destiny’s Child had a formula and it worked every time… Dirty Beyonce is unpredictable.

June 24, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Megan Fox Cares Too Much About Her Children to Make More Than 1 Movie a Year

Megan fox sons ellenMegan Fox is not as shallow as you may have once thought and cares much more about her two sons than her fans. During a chat with Parents magazine, Fox explained that due to an intense case of “mommy guilt,” her heart is no longer in bending over cars, puking black slime or having her boobs jiggled by Leslie Mann.

Really her only motivation to act is to pump up Bodhi and Noah’s college fund…

“I have to make one movie a year because I have to invest in their future and I have to be able to pay their way through college and be able to provide for them,” she said. “I’m looking for movies that will shoot in Los Angeles, for projects where I’m part of an ensemble so I can shoot in and out in 10-20 days. It’s all about trying to spend as little time away from my kids as possible.”

Any time she does crawl out of the baby rearin’ ether and into the spotlight, it’s to talk about babies. Ugh. Note the high-pitched squeal as she points at photosRead more…

June 24, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Hope Solo Pleads ‘Not Guilty’ to Charges of Beating Up Insubordinate Nephew

hope solo court 2014U.S. Goalkeeper Hope Solo/unofficial 9th cast member of Jersey Shore is in the news for attacking her 17-year-old nephew. She reportedly called him a “p*ssy,” pulled his hair and punched him.

The nephew retaliated in typical teenage fashion, by stepping up the name-calling to “c*nt,” pointing a BB gun at her and hitting her in the head with the broom she flew in on.

An apparently drunk Solo began attacking her own sister once the boy called the police, leaving “visible injuries.” TMZ has a recording of the kid in the process of fending off his “psychotic” auntie  Ho Ho, who has already plead not guilty to assault.  Read more…

June 23, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

22 Firefighters Deliver Tourist From Vagina Statue

german vagina statue It took a multitude of completely unamused German firefighters to deliver one teen exchange student from a vagina-shaped sculpture after his friends urged him to climb inside for a photo-op.

No medical attention was needed, as there is no definitive cure for embarrassment. Seriously, this kid is going to be known as “vagina boy” until the end of time.

Girls he dates are going to think he’s one of them, and even after he’s adopted a new identity and is peering over a newspaper in Groucho glasses like someone from a 1950s spy movie, passersby are going to do a double take, pull up this photo from Imgur and chase him down the street yelling “It’s totally you!!!”

June 22, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis Bump Heads For One Last Kodak Moment

Thelma and louise selfie
Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis reunited last week to remind us that they’ve “still got it.”

In an ideal Thelma and Louise sequel, the iconic duo suffered many broken bones and entered comas driving off the cliff, awakening 23 years later wishing they had died as soon as they hear “Let Me Take a Selfie” playing in the hospital waiting room.  Read more…

June 21, 2014 / thefrenchslayer

Fake kidnapping in Washington?

Jesse and Jason holden kidnappingJesse and Jason Holden (cousins) ran into Sequim’s Carrie Blake Park,  snatching a young boy. They ran the boy into a van and sped away while worried parents chased after them. Little did the parents know, this was all a set up. The mother of the child, Shellie Baskins, was waiting in the car for her child to be brought to her from the “kidnapper.” They later met up with a police officer who was previously informed that this act was going to happen and that it was to raise awareness for child abduction.

Only the people who were involved in the fake kidnapping and the few police officers were aware. Afterward, the cousins returned to the park to explain what there were trying to do. Everyone was outraged at the least.The cousins and the mother were later charged with disorderly conduct. The trail dates have not yet been determined but the trio could be charged up to 364 days in jail or a $5,000 fine.

Read more…

June 20, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

‘Sexy Mugshot Guy’ is This Year’s Mohawk Guy

mugshot guy mohawk guyHot criminal Jeremy Ray Meeks is making women around the country swoon with his blue eyes, rap sheet, teardrop tat and pouty, modelesque mugshot.

Rewind to summer of 2012, when NASA engineer Bobak Ferdowsi a.k.a. “mohawk guy” stole not only our hearts but our minds during the Mars Rover landing. Same unexplainable phenom, very different men…

Sadly I think 80% of women would rather be “robbed and assaulted” by sexy mugshot guy and his gunrunning ways than let Mohawk Guy explore their forbidden planets.  Read more…

June 20, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Sassy Men Dancing to Beyonce are the Cure to Your Bad Day

Watch and learn, ladies, these three fabulous men dancing at the speed of freshly-fed Hummingbirds to Beyonce’s greatest hits in high heels without breaking a sweat are the hottest thing since croissant-crust Hot Pockets.

You can thank French Britain’s Got Talent finalist Yanis Marshall (in the red and black shorts) for the choreography and equally animated back-up dancers, Arnaud and Mehdi, for the support. Beyonce’s legal team is seeking $2 million in stolen thunder.
Yanis Marshall beyonce
Read: Interview w/ “High Heel Dancer” Yanis Marshall; Paris Choreographer Extraordinaire

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