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April 2, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Scarlett Johansson Kicks Ass in ‘Lucy’ Trailer

Lucy, from Luc Besson (The Fifth Element), starring Scarlett Johansson, is action-packed and intriguing despite sharing a lot of plot points with the ultra sh*tty Bradley Cooper movie Limitless, about brain power…

After mobster types implant “a bag of drugs” in her stomach, ScarJo kicks mo’ better ass than Black Widow and starts asking questions of a certain freckled scientist (Morgan Freeman) about her newfound abilities.
  
It makes me immensely happy to see ultra bubbly/charismatic Analeigh Tipton, who appears briefly in the trailer as a friend of Lucy’s, of America’s Next Top Model (and then Crazy, Stupid, Love, Hung and Warm Bodies) getting so many roles.  Read more…

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April 2, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ’666′

Starbucks 666A Baton Rouge woman who bought coffee at a Starbucks at the Mall of Louisiana received a large amount of both humorous and concerned comments after sharing a picture of her two drinks.

With a matching “666″ and pentagram art drawn in caramel, the woman, Megan K. Pinion (so close to the ultra satanic “minion”) wrote that while she was “in no way judging” the beliefs of the barista, she judges his “lack of professionalism and respect for others” and was “appalled” by the imagery.

“I am a teacher in the public school system and if I were to present a child of atheist or pagan believers with a Christian art project I could be sued in a heartbeat,” she stated.  Read more…

March 31, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring

cargo container train car The Walking Dead finale
As anyone with a TV, Facebook or even the most snail-paced internet connection knows – The Walking Dead season 4 finale was on last night.

Considering how uneventful and equally or less exciting than every other non-finale episode, I’m baffled by the amount of websites that called it “shocking,” “exciting” and “brutal.” (Spoilers ahead.)

Carl almost getting raped? – not shocking because we knew it would never happen. Rick being reunited with the gang? – not shocking because we knew it would happen. Rick taking advice from a dead man…? No.
Rick and Daryl season 4 finale still
The real shocker was that nobody died. Not Glenn (dead in the comic) or Maggie (what I expected) or even the new characters, and that the craziest events of the season didn’t occur when the gang ended up trapped in a train car together, but two episodes ago, when crazy-eyed Lizzie exclaimed “Don’t worry, she’ll come back. I didn’t hurt her brain,” after murdering her younger sister.  Read more…

March 30, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Chelsea Handler Leaves E!, May Replace Piers Morgan

Uganda Be Kidding Me author, comedian and only-woman-in-late-night, Chelsea Handler is reportedly packing up her bags and leaving the E! network. A recent statement from her manager makes it sound like she’ll be starting fresh instead of moving Chelsea Lately to another network.

“Chelsea intends to leave when her contract expires. She hired me to figure out her life after E! We have at least seven suitors and many ideas,” Irving Azoff revealed.

E! took a chance on Handler in 2006 when she was a virtual unknown with The Chelsea Handler Show, which lasted one season and eventually evolved into a talk show that went from only booking D-list reality stars to moving to a new studio with appearances by the likes of Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock.

Read more…

March 30, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Gwyneth Paltrow is Saying Silly Things About Her Divorce

Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin dinnerContrary to the headline, Gwyneth Paltrow really hasn’t said anything too “silly” about her divorce, but many do seem offended by her seemingly stuck-up refusal to actually call it a “divorce” in her original and follow-up statements.

In the first, she left a bad taste in the mouths [of people who probably already hated her] by using the term “conscious uncoupling” to describe her separation from longtime douchehub Chris Martin.

Recently, Paltrow published a recipe brutal guide to cutting off a chicken’s legs and head with a little “P.S.” message attached. “CM and I in deep gratitude for the support of so many,” she wrote.  Read more…

March 29, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Guess Which New York Venue Lady Gaga Put Rose Petals in her Butt in Honor of…

Lady Gaga RosesThe queen of theatricality and overthought pop music glued roses to her bosom, torso and backside to celebrate the beginning of her streak of seven shows at New York’s historic Roseland Ballroom, which is sadly closing for good in April.

In the past, Lady Gaga has covered herself in bubbles, dead muppets and meat, all looks I observed many a drag queen wearing on Portland mass transit a few years ago after her Monster Ball concert.

At least this rose-covered leotard isn’t too bad on a scale of normal person clothes to separate gravitational pull. Some poor child in a third world country has oxygen thanks to whoever Gaga’s stylist was that day.

 

March 28, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Trailer: Jupiter Ascending

Soooo here’s what I gather the new sci-fi epic Jupiter Ascending by the Wachowskis (The Matrix) is about:

Pointy-earred space rebel (Channing Tatum) helps bee-whispering maid (Mila Kunis) discover her destiny and escape the clutches of a power-hungry madman who controls an army of space ninjas? Right? Right.
Jupiter Ascending banner

March 28, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Putin Just Repossessed Ukraine’s Attack Dolphins

russian attack dolphinsNow that former Ukraine president Viktor Yanukovich is gone, the two countries are going through a nasty falling out, with macho Russian prez Putin taking back a fleet of war ships and now battle dolphins.

True story. Back in the ’60s, when Ukraine and Russia were one big Soviet family, the military began training dolphins as a means of defense in a top-secret division of the navy that was “restarted a few years ago” according to ABC.com.

The highly intelligent mammals (along with sea lions, apparently) were recruited for tasks such as “patrolling open waters with detection devices,” “defending against mines and enemy divers” (operation non-human shield?), and “attack missions.”  Read more…

March 27, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are Stupidly Gigantic

new Ninja turtles gigantic CGI
Well, the new Ninja Turtles movie looks even worse than I thought it would, which is pretty f*cking bad. If only the first trailer was a parody “what if Michael Bay used his trademark, horrible CGI to make the turtles like medium-sized Transformers, completely changed their origin story, and cast a brunette to play April?”

I mean… You seriously couldn’t bother to dye Megan Fox‘s hair red? WHAT THE HELL???
new Shredder Ninja Turtles 2014
I want to completely blame Bay, but I’m sure the director, Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles), and writers, André Nemec and Josh Appelbaum (the team responsible for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol), all contributed to the TMNT sucking king-sized ass.  Read more…

March 27, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Check Out Carl From The Walking Dead’s Older, Female Stunt Double

Carl female stunt double walking dead
The Talking Dead just taught us that 14-year-old Chandler Riggs, the kid who’s played Carl since the show’s inception in 2010, has a female stunt double named Ashley who, at 31, is 17 years his senior.

Apparently, Riggs outgrew his prior stunt double from seasons 1-3, Savana Jade Wehunt (The Governor’s daughter). In a snippet on growing up on the set, Riggs reveals that the rest of the cast often forgets that he’s a kid, and that his favorite part of filming was being able to wear Rick’s hat (“it keeps the sun out my eyes while I’m shooting”) and burning the crap out of the barn full o’ zombies in season 2.
walking dead stunt doubles season 4
Whoa. Is it just me or is Daryl’s stunt double is a dead ringer for Jack White?  Read more…

March 26, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Betting Big with Celebrities

Because celebrities like to gamble too

The poker industry has attracted a diversity of people from different backgrounds. Gambling knows no limits, as even celebrities have admitted to guilty pleasures such as poker. When they’re not out winning matches, filming blockbusters, or hosting television series, these celebrities are placing their bets in high stakes poker tournaments.
6th Annual World Poker Tour Invitational Kick AOhSVhAME43l
James Woods 

The three-time Emmy award-winning actor is known for his breakout performance in The Onion Field, and his role in Once Upon a Time in America. He’s also lent his voice to may animated series such as The Simpsons and Family Guy. The versatile actor has been spotted betting in many WSOP events in the last ten years. As an avid poker player, he has managed 22 major event finishes. From those 22 finishes, he’s been in second place twice, third place once, and 24th out of 692 at the 2006 L.A. Poker Classic. ben_affleck_poker
Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck has scored numerous film awards in both acting and directing. His latest achievement is probably landing the role as the next Batman. While the Hollywood actor is mainly known for one win in his poker career, it is a considerably large win and definitely worth noting. Back in 2004, Ben Affleck took part in the California State Poker Championship. It was a tournament with a $10,000 buy-in, which then resulted in a $356,400 win. He has been rumored to occasionally participate in high stakes cash games in Los Angeles. jake-cody-kara-scott-1-300x199
Kara Scott

Dubbed as a beauty of the poker industry, the “Great Scott” is first and foremost known as Canadian/UK TV personality, previously hosting an array of gambling shows including the award-winning show called “Poker Night Live”. In addition to being an ambassador for PartyPoker, she also works as an ESPN sideline reporter for the World Series of Poker. Rafa-Fatima-final-pokerstars--644x362
Rafael Nadal

This Spanish-born tennis player is currently ranked as number 1 in the Association of Tennis Professionals. Because tennis is not the only sport that he wants to conquer, the acclaimed rookie player dipped his feet into the poker world by competing in the charity challenge at EPT Prague festival. Just like in his tennis matches, he took down his opponents and came out the reigning champion. Among those he beat includes Daniel Negreanu, one of the world’s top ranked poker players.

So the next time you take part in a big poker tournament, don’t be too surprised if you end up seated next to a celebrity.

March 26, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

There May Be a NEW INDIANA JONES in Town…

Bradley Cooper the a team shirtlessNerds, flex your gag reflex. People who thought Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a completely acceptable movie: I have good news for you!

Disney may be recasting Bradley Cooper as Indy, replacing 71-year-old Harrison Ford after four runs as professor Jones beginning in 1981 with the spectacular Raiders of the Lost Ark. (I love the smell of melting Nazis in the morning.)

A source for Latino Review says the studio is “100% prepared” to move ahead with a younger actor for Indiana Jones 5, with Cooper at the head of the list. LR adds that Frank Darabont (The Walking Dead, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles) is being considered for lead script writing duties.

Read more…

March 25, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are Officially Done

Uh oh. Gwyneth Paltrow finally realized how bad Chris Martin’s music is…

Paltrow wrote on her newsletter website that they’ve decided to separate after 11 years of marriage, therapy (I assume) and two biblical/fruit-themed babies.

“We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate,” Paltrow wrote.

“We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been” she continued. “We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time.”

Read more…

March 25, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

The Internet Especially Hates These Photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Kim and Kanye Vogue 1
The latest Vogue spread featuring Kim Kardashian, Kanye West and their daughter North has its own “Kanye taking a picture of your selfie” meme and has caused Sarah Michelle Gellar and others to consider canceling their subscriptions, which probably means it was a success.

You’ll notice the photo below has a wall of mirrors as a backdrop and not a single reflection of Kanye. BuzzfeedCelebuzz and others had appropriate responses, guessing what was actually on the iPad and placing him at the scene of other famous selfies.
Kim and Kanye mirrorOf everything to come from Kim’s whirlwind romance with Vogue, the profile, written by Hamish Bowles, is truly the worst best. Bowles compares Kim’s eyelashes to a “humming-bird’s wings” (pretty sure even the most anal bird scholar would accept “hummingbird,” but okay) and calls Kanye a “creative polyglot.”

The wording of someone with a thesaurus AND knowledge that the people he wrote the article about won’t actually be able to read it.

Read more…

March 24, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Ellie Goulding Rumored as X Factor UK Judge

Ellie Goulding Divergent premierePlease let it be true! Adorable British songstress Ellie Goulding might just be a judge on X Factor alongside Simon Cowell (returning to the original British version for the first time in three years) and Cheryl Cole (also after a lengthy absence).

Longtime third judge Louis Walsh told The Sun that he’s “heard” that Goulding is a contender, though other Sun sources remind us that Walsh is not at all involved in who ultimately snags the gig.

Goulding, who has been busy touring for Halcyon and its expansion, Halcyon Days, has become the go-to girl for recording new songs for big budget, teen box office favorites like Twilight (“Bittersweet”), The Hunger Games (“Mirror”), AND Divergent (“Beating Heart”).

Read more…

March 24, 2014 / Hallie Madenski

Shotgun Wedding for Mila and Ashton?

Mila kunis pregnant clippers gameRecently engaged Mila Kunis will not be able to enjoy all the free bottles of bourbon that her latest gig as the face of Jim Beam will earn her, if she is actually pregnant, as E! is reporting.

Maybe Ashton can hand them out to Bruce Willis and Laura Prepon in the hospital waiting room? Or the expecting father could use them to numb the trauma of watching his boo push an enormous him-sized baby out her tiny Ukrainian vajay.

Kunis is pregnant with the couple’s first child, a source confirms exclusively to E! News just weeks after being first to report that the former That ’70s Show co-stars were planning to tie the knot.

The Ted star was even recently spotted attending a prenatal yoga class in Hollywood. 

Read more…

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