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March 8, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Ellie Goulding And Taylor Swift Are Getting Drunk Together While Everyone Else Drinks Tea

Ellie Goulding Taylor Swift Selena Gomez HaimDancing Man fan Ellie Goulding (really loving “Outside” and “Heavy Crown” right now), Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez and members of the indie/rock group Haim had an epic all-celebrity girl tea party today, except someone wasn’t drinking tea.

Two someones, actually…

As you can see, Ellie and bestie/Taylor Swift, giggling in the corner and mowing down on some alcohol.

I wonder how Coke would feel about Taylor enjoying rum with their product?

March 8, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Reporter Antagonizes Ronda Rousey, Gets Slammed

Aaron Tru, a reporter who interviews MMA fighters and is specifically notorious for “pissing off” women in the sport, recently got taken down by THE woman, Ronda Rousey.

“I don’t think you have as much strength and can compete with a man,” Tru said, right before getting his ribcage busted and wincing in pain.

It was definitely set-up, along with the time he got choked out by Cyborg (below), but it’s still amazing to see a big guy like him easily thrown by someone much smaller than him.

I’m not of the opinion that Tru is a chauvinist. He’s 100% in on the joke…

Like MMA’s own Steve-O, putting himself through hell for our enjoyment.  Read more…

March 5, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Beat The Arizona Heat With This Enticing Churro Dog

Churro Dog ArizonaYou can buy a 1,117-calorie Churro Dog topped with whipped cream and chocolate sauce for $8.50, but it’s for baseball fans at Chase Stadium and Chase Stadium in Phoenix, AZ alone.

Unfortunately, the Churro Dog, which joins Taco Bell’s Cap’n Crunch Delight as one of 2015’s most anticipated disgustingly delicious snack foods, will only be available at Diamondbacks games.  Read more…

March 5, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Princess Peach And Storm Redesigns Will Blow Your Nerdy Mind

Princess Peach and Storm drawings The following illustrations of Princess Peach and X-Men’s Storm by female sci-fi artists Kirbi Fagan and  would bring Mario and Professor X to tears.

Click here for a side-by-side comparison of Peach from N64 and Fagan’s bazooka Peach and here for one of badass thigh-baring comic book Storm and even more badass “Weather Witch” / “Nature Goddess” Storm.

And also check out Fagan’s website. Anyone with a living room, a few bucks and a love of conversation pieces needs her Winnie The Pooh painting ASAP.

March 1, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Car Thief Hit By His Own Brick

This gif, made from a video of a drunken criminal in Drogheda, Ireland is so funny it’ll knock you out, make you sh*t bricks, and all those other puns you were expecting.

When the police arrived outside of Gerry Brady’s Pub to investigate the incident, the car thief accused the pub’s owner of “attacking” him.

Fast-forward to Irish cops keeling over with laughter after reviewing surveillance footage that showed him out cold after losing a fight with a car.

February 28, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Ronda Rousey Expresses Interest in Fighting Holly Holm After Submitting Zingano

Holly Holm vs Ronda Rousey“Rowdy” Ronda Rousey (add about a million y’s to that for a solid Bruce Buffer impersonation) told Joe Rogen in her post-fight interview that she is interested in taking on UFC newbie Holly Holm.

“Holly Holm is a world champion boxer and I always want to test myself against that level of striking,” Rousey said.

Holm, 33, showed impressive striking and kickboxing technique in her debut earlier tonight against Raquel Pennington, who lost despite having considerably more experience with big-name fighters like Cat Zingano.   Read more…

February 22, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Oscars ‘In Memoriam’ List DID NOT Include Joan Rivers

joan and melissa rivers first red carpet interviewThe 87th Academy Awards had plenty of time for a guitar-playing Batman, Sean Penn making green card jokes and embarrassing Dakota Johnson, but NO time for their longtime employee, Joan Rivers. 

Rivers — a woman who epitomized show business and the Oscars in general — was snubbed from the show’s In Memoriam segment that included and multiple marketing directors, producers and sound editors.

Let me remind you that at one time, Joan was the only one who did red carpet commentary. She is also the the inventor of “Who are you wearing?”, not to mention a very accomplished comedian, writer, actress and co-host.  Read more…

February 22, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Emma Watson and Prince Harry Aren’t a Thing

Hermione mud bloodSo you heard that Emma Watson and Prince Harry are an item, yes? Well, they’re not. Firstly, Watson is a classy young broad who I’d like to believe has much better taste than that, and second, she said so on Twitter (sort of).

But then again, I wanted to believe that Hermione Granger wouldn’t fall for a certain sweet-yet-clueless ginger with a knack for being dead weight when people are busy trying their hardest to destroy Voldemort. Lesson: anyone lacking the last name “Potter” or “Radcliffe” is a bad choice for her.

Here’s what Watson had to say on social media about not dating a full-blood prince:

The “exclusive” story from Women’s Day Australia detailed a tryst that thrived on “secret dates” and the fact that Harry is “smitten” for more than just “Emma’s looks,” and is instead after her soul because he doesn’t have one.  Read more…

February 22, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

This Woman is the New Lorena Bobbitt

Amber Ellis tulsa mugshotA Tulsa woman took Gaga’s “Show Me Your Teeth” lyric WAY TOO far when she took a bite out of her boyfriend’s unsuspecting penis.

31-year-old Amber Ellis did not get as far as knife-wielding Lorena Bobbit, as her significant other was able to wake up in time to fight her off and not lose his entire shaft, though he did receive “several stitches at the base of his penis.”

He was also treated for injuries to his head and neck, due to the fact that Ellis smashed him in the noggin with a laptop.  Read more…

February 19, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Teenage Emma Stone Sings “Bitch”

Before her film debut in Superbad and after bumping stomachs with Tweedledee at a children’s theater in Arizona, circa 2004 Emma Stone was singing the wildly inappropriate “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks on national television.  Read more…

February 19, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Azealia Banks Posing For Internet-Breaking Playboy Photos

Playboy is employing Azealia Banks for an upcoming shoot. Banks is famous for songs like “212,” getting into Twitter feuds, and being a rapper who often gets confused with Iggy Azalea (who she affectionately calls “Itchy Areola”) despite not being white or Australian.

Banks will be interviewed by Rob Tannebaum within the April 2015 issue and photographed by Ellen Von Unwerth, whose portfolio includes compromising photos of Rihanna, Christina Aguilera, Beyoncé and Janet Jackson.  Read more…

February 18, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Chemical Used to Turn Soda Brown Causes Cancer

Harry Styles pepsiPeople who thought avoiding diet soda would help them steer clear of cancer are sorely mistaken. These days, due to the laziness and greed of manufacturers, you can count on the additives in pretty much all prepackaged, non-organic food and drink to put you at risk for cancer, including of course, the common chemical used to turn your favorite sodas brown.

Pepsi, Coke, Dr. Pepper and other brands have been strongly linked to the disease due to their use of 4-Methylimidazole.  Read more…

February 18, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Unretouched Photos of ‘Regular Woman’ Beyoncé Promptly Removed From Internet

unretouched beyonce Over the years, we’ve loved and scrutinized Beyoncé to Oprah-sized proportions.

I get alerts on my phone informing me when her roots grow and if she may or may not have bunions. And if she does have a bunion, I want to know exactly which foot and the exact location in latitude and longitude.

Which brings me to a website that released not one or two but a whopping 224 unretouched photos of the singer.  Read more…

February 17, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Gaga’s Engagement Ring is a Bloody Giant Heart

lady gaga ringJust Kidding.

Lady Gaga of the meat dress-having, singing-while-covered-in-blood and eating-designer-cakes-dripping-with-red-dye persuasion, did NOT receive anything crazy for her engagement, but she did get a completely normal heart-shaped ring from her boyfriend, television firefighter and werewolf Taylor Kinney, for Valentine’s.

Kidding again. Gaga’s ring isn’t normal, it’s huge and probably worth a million dollars. The biggest shock here is one of the following multiple choice options:

1.  You can buy a ring like this at almost any high-end jewelry store.
2. Nobody was hired to pry it from the cold dead fingers of Alexander McQueen
3. Gaga is marrying not only a human man from Earth, but a pretty regular guy

 

 

 

 

 

February 15, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Super-Centenarian Attributes Old Age to Raw Eggs, Single Life

Emma morano CentenarianThe oldest woman in Europe and fifth oldest in the world, 115-year-old Italian-born Emma Morano tells the New York Times she believes she’s cruised through three centuries because of her diet, which has included three raw eggs a day since adolescence, and her decision never to remarry.

Morano has been living the single life since 1938, when she separated from her husband and forever decided she “didn’t want to be dominated by anyone.”

Amazingly, Italy’s famous super-centenarian refuses to ever go to the hospital. Read more…

February 12, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Kanye is ‘Definitely’ Recording With Taylor Swift

taylor swift kanye memeWhat kind of world am I living in? Apparently one where Kanye West and Taylor Swift bury the hatchet by recording sweet sweet music together.

Kanye hasn’t recorded sweet sweet music since 2010, and while I doubt a country/pop crossover with Taylor is the answer, it’s still astounding that he says he’s for sure going to make sure going to make music with the girl who’s moment he ruined on behalf of Beyonce all those years ago.  Read more…

February 11, 2015 / Hallie Madenski

Awesome Honest Valentine’s Cards Will Help Keep Your Heart Frozen

honest funny valentine's card 3

Resist the urge to give Hallmark your hard-earned money with these totally honest Valentine’s Cards. For that person in your life that you’re not sure about at all but were thinking about sending flowers to because you don’t want to be alone…  Read more…

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