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February 9, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Pink – “Just Give Me A Reason” Feat. Nate Ruess

Pink Alecia what’s-her-butt put her husband Carey Hart (only wears sunglasses during the day, while riding motorcycles) in his fourth music video last week. Also, the guy from .fun. .bleck.

The visual would also work for “Only Girl (In The World),” as it seems to be a non-metaphor for being alone with the tattooed man you love (with an evil teddy bear, in a floating bed surrounded by mist).

Read more…

February 8, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

David Beckham Predictably ‘Loses’ His Robe and Shirt For H&M

David Beckham shirtless H&M 2013Expert at dealing with artificial life forms Guy Ritchie directed David Beckham in a new H&M Bodywear ad that has him (and a big-bootied stunt double) running, jumping and swimming in a hapless effort to get his bathrobe back.

This involves flying past landscapers, Dobermans, soccer-playing children (to remind you that he’s not just a greased-up model for hire) and a tour bus full of horny ladies with camera phones.

I also learned that he gets an added jolt of speed by picking his butt. Congratulations Bot Spice, you’re a lucky lady.  Read more…

February 8, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-8-13]

Beyonce wrestlingUnflattering photoshopped Beyoncé at the Super Bowl photos here —-> (Grouchy Muffin)

Ryan Lochte chases a dollar bill/pees on Nirvana for ESPN’s music issue. (ohmyGAHH!)

Is “Patriot Games” the best name for a $3.75 million Rob Gronkowski porno? (Deadspin)

John Mayer uses “jerk” (past tense) when describing his boyfriend skills. (L.A. Times)

Driving through Winter Storm Nemo in Massachusetts could land you in jail. (CS Monitor)

Burger King Whoppers in England and Ireland now come with Mr. Ed. (Huffington Post)

Lucky for Crystal Harris, Hef enjoys Backgammon and Uno way more than sex. (Evil Beet)

February 8, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Awwww, Gentle Giant James Cromwell Arrested For Being a Crazy Cat Lady

James CromwellI’m not one of those people who thinks Martin Sheen is the president or that Angelina Jolie raids tombs in her spare time (though that could actually be true). I know the difference between reality and fiction, BUT I do have to say that I was starting to associate James Cromwell with evil after I saw him cut Chloe Sevigny’s legs off in American Horror Story: Asylum.

In wonderful news, the nice tall man from Babe (and well-meaning but insane conspiracy theorist in Six Feet Under) was handcuffed Thursday morning for protesting unnecessary cat research at University of Wisconsin.

While it makes me nervous that some guy from PETA was involved, I think it’s weirdly cute and amazing that Cromwell burst into a board meeting screaming “This is not science!”  Read more…

February 8, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Nico Vega – “Beast”

Do I really need to explain how much I love Nico Vega, again? My favorite live band, finally getting recognition (currently touring with Imagine Dragons) blah blah blah.

Recently featured in TV and video game promos, “Beast” first appeared on the self-released EP Chooseyourwordspoorly in 2006.  Read more…

February 7, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

CBS Wants to Ruin Any Remaining Shred of Fun at The Grammys

Crazy grammy dresses 2Good thing Lil’ Kim and Trey Parker have no reason to be at The Grammys this year. An email sent by CBS Standards and Practices to attending celebrities lists all the things they’re not allowed to wear.

No-nos includes “thong type costumes,” “sheer see-through clothing” and “brand name products on T-shirts.” One-piece tuxedos and turtlenecks are okay.

Problematic (and favorite) language in the memo, which was reportedly leaked by a low-level staffer, would have to be the redundant references to “female breast nipples” and “buttock crack.”

Read more…

February 7, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-7-13]

Chris Brown Rihanna courtRihanna stands by her abusive, obnoxious man. Goes to court with Chris Brown. (Daily Mail)

She also ruined Selena Gomez‘s relationship by sleeping with young Justin Bieber… (Jezebel)

Yoda, Jabba and Chewbacca makeup artist Stuart Freeborn dead at 98. (Huffington Post)

Oxygen’s latest modeling show has Naomi Campbell saying “You are not the face!” (Gawker)

John Travolta sex lawsuit dropped, probably never groped anyone on a cruise ship. (Evil Beet)

Ex-cop/LL Cool J lookalike wanted for shooting and killing three people in Los Angeles. (CBS)

New couple/sleepover alert: Adam Brody and Leighton Meester. Blair & Seth forever. (Us Weekly)

February 7, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Jennifer Love Hewitt Strips on Top of a Warehouse For ‘The Client List’

Jennifer Love Hewitt I'm a womanTo remind everyone that her last name alphabetically comes before “Lopez,” “Lawrence” and “Hudson,” Jennifer Love Hewitt filmed a very steamy promo/music video for season 2 of The Client List. 

Oh how this brings me back to 1999, when Hugetits could sustain a spot on the Billboard Hot 100 by throwing on a wifebeater and propping herself up next to a car after not washing her hair for six days. I’m talking about the video for her song “How Do I Deal,” of course. Like Tyra Banks and Heidi Montag, J-Love has always kept a music career in her back pocket. (Her songs were only slightly more ear friendly, in a LeAnn-Rimes-on-the-Coyote Ugly-soundtrack sort of way.)  Read more…

February 7, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Russki Couple Get Matching Face Tattoos 24 Hours After Meeting

Russian face tattoo womanTrue love in Russia! Lesya and Ruslan Toumaniantz decided to get five inch-high tattoos of each other’s names after spending a single day together.

This is great because it’s probably really hard for them to remember who they’re dating.

Ruslan, a tattoo artist who originally “met” ladylove Lesya in a chat room, was so taken with her figure/personality that he splooged Gothic ink blotches all over her face cheeks (and his own). –>PHOTOS HERE<–

Usually regret sets in months, maybe years later, but I have a feeling 30 seconds to that 24 hours is more fitting. Somewhere near a pigeon cage, Mike Tyson just said “Oh sh*t, you went too far.”

February 6, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Chris Pratt Just Landed the Lead in Marvel’s Next Big Franchise

Chris Pratt StarlordLike many women of the 20-something age group, I first saw Chris Pratt as a completely cliché, granola-munching hippie on The O.C.

The more he traipsed around in plaid talking to Summer (Rachel Bilson) about spirit animals the more I disliked him as an actor and person. Only a minor change of heart occurred when I heard he was dating Anna Faris, because I figured she wouldn’t get with a humorless square.

THEN I finally suckered myself into watching Parks and Recreation after resisting for at least two years because I hate the talk-to the-camera format of The Office…  Read more…

February 6, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-6-13]

Movie and television characters are constantly getting hit by buses because…? (Pajiba)

Bless you, Kate Winslet. That wedding ring is as down-to-earth as you are. (Evil Beet)

PETA mad at Beyonce for wearing python, iguana and leather at the Super Bowl. (Idolator)

Bankrupt Postal Service saving $2 billion by cutting Saturdays from delivery. (CS Monitor)

Russell Brand calls Katy Perry “perfect” and John Mayor a womanizer. (Huffington Post)

State of Florida‘s new business logo is less sexist and more…. Orange Juice-y. (Yahoo!)

Younger actor to replace Harrison Ford in standalone Han Solo movie? Shoot me. (Celebuzz)

February 6, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Skiier Lindsey Vonn Taken Down By Brutal Knee Injury, Airlifted To Hospital

Lindsey Vonn airliftedDecorated American ski champion Lindsey Vonn‘s chances of competing in the near future were frighteningly halted yesterday when she was airlifted to the hospital following a nasty tumble down a mountain at the Alpine world championships in Austria.

The United States team medical director informed news outlets that she had torn two ligaments in her knee and requires reconstructive surgery that will keep her out for the remainder of the season.

It is unlikely that the injury will keep her away from the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.

Read more…

February 6, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Chris Brown Threatened To Bust a Cap in Frank Ocean

Chris Brown gun takersThere’s little question that Frank Ocean was “the victim” in the Chris Brown parking lot feud. He stayed behind to talk to the police, refused to press charges and even forgave Brown in a peace-themed Tumblr post.

New details from the official police report have everyone wondering how a 25-year-old could harness such restraint and maturity.

In the report, Ocean says Brown’s entourage kicked him while he was on the ground and hurled homophobic slurs at him as he was told “We can bust on you too!” (bust as in, shoot) by Chris during their three-minute fight.

Read more…

February 5, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Thanks to GoDaddy, Average Joes Think They Have a Chance With Bar Refaeli

Bar Refaeli nerd kiss After her GoDaddy ad with beta male Jesse Heiman, international supermodel and former DiCaprio arm candy Bar Refaeli is being accosted by some very unspecial men.

The day after her commercial was televised for 108 million viewers during the Super Bowl, she posted a photo of herself from inside a car. Moments later, she was flooded with messages that had nothing to do with cars and everything to do with them scoring with her.

From Instagram user @pcagent: “if godaddy can rent a hot steamy kiss from you then the only other question I have? what else is on the menu :)”  Read more…

February 5, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-5-13]

Neil Patrick Harris Ian SomerhalderNeil Patrick Harris and Ian Somerhalder enjoy Celebrity Beach Bowl. (ohmyGAHH!)

Newtown resists “Illness” film based on Sandy Hook shooting. (Hollywood Reporter)

Fall Out Boy reunite in small Chicago venue after three year hiatus. (ONTD)

Curved, footless skeleton of King Richard III found under parking lot. (Radar Online)

“Wild Thing” singer Reg Presley loses year-long battle with lung cancer. (Spin)

Awww… Sandra Bullock dresses up son Louis in Michael Oher jersey. (Yahoo!)

Justin Timberlake may have called Britney Spears a bitch in New Orleans. (Evil Beet)

February 5, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

AHOY! Kate Middleton’s Baby Bump Spotted Beneath Patterned Shawl

princess kate baby bumpDon’t you just get a kick out of how obsessed Americans are with Kate Middleton‘s baby? You know they’re all just pervs hoping for another William or Harry to gawk at (or a Diana, for the sake of Hollywood martyrdom).

The Princess is still a public figure, and her every waking move has become that much more scrutinized now that she’s pregnant. A walk around London turns into the resurrection of John Lennon. (I guess the Queen unshackled her following that whole morning sickness hospital trip/house arrest thing.)

One avid Duchess of Cambridge idolizer wrote: “Oh my gosh it makes me so excited for when the baby comes.” But why? I mean what are you planning to do with it? Toss her in a cell until she confesses!

February 5, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Trailer(s): Fast & Furious 6, Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness

During the Super Bowl, which you only missed if you’re a character from Jules Verne’s A Journey to the Center of the Earth, we saw new trailers for three summer blockbusters.

From Justin Lin (also behind Tokyo Drift and Fast Five) we have Vin Diesel and Paul Walker back in Fast & Furious 6, also starring The Rock and Michelle Rodriguez in recruitment and ghost mode.

Read more…


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