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January 27, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Casey Anthony: Bankrupt, Without A Book Deal or Profits From Lifetime Biopic

Casey Anthony sadIt’s not hard to feel sorry for Casey Anthony. It’s impossible.

When you hear that the woman who was definitely guilty (but not convicted) of aggravated manslaughter of a child is now filing for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, you’re probably thrilled.

Anthony does not deserve to have her nearly $800,000 in debt discharged, but maybe solace can be found in just knowing that she’s broke?

Civil attorney Charles Greene clarified that his client has “no contracts, no movie or book deals” in the works because she is not legally allowed to profit from revealing the details of her case.  Read more…

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January 27, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-27-13]

Sandra Bullock toplessCheck out this mortifying photo of Sandra Bullock topless in the 90’s. (Messy Nessy Chic)

Helena Bonham Carter taking acting break to focus on motherhood. (Telegraph)

At the Super Bowl, Beyonce will sing 1 solo song, then 3 with Destiny’s Child. (Celebuzz)

Burt Reynolds moved out of intensive care unit after serious flu scare. (TMZ)

Fox News not renewing Sarah Palin‘s contract because she’s irrelevant? (Huffington Post)

Jodie Foster admits she’s fully “lesbica” in latest issue of Vanity Fair Italia. (ohmyGAHH!)

Teenager inspired to kill his mother and sister after watching Rob Zombie’s Halloween. (Radar)

January 27, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

The Dark-Haired Guy From One Direction Cheated On The Blonde Girl From Little Mix

Zayn Malik Perrie EdwardsMy knowledge of British boy and girl bands doesn’t stretch beyond the Girls Aloud documentary and early fondness for BBMak and the Spice Girls, but since we’re all fascinated by celebrity misfortune, I’ll tell you about the latest cheating scandal involving perfectly groomed children of the UK.

One Direction’s Zayn Malik (“dark-haired guy” because his is the darkest of the four brunette members) has been dating Perrie Edwards (usually blonde, currently purple?) of the four-piece girl group Little Mix for about a year.

They were both on The X Factor in different seasons (7 and 8) and fans refer to them as “Zerrie” and think they’re the cutest couple in all of Disneyland or The Matrix or whatever.  Read more…

January 27, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Foals – “My Number”

Foals’ “My Number” video directed by go-to guy Dave Ma (The Horrors, Fair Ohs) was filmed in Miami with the usual but limited onstage scenario plus three random hip-hop dancer ladies.

Here’s an exact account of events…. 2:40: Music fades for outdoor dance routine. 3:00: You forgot your 3D glasses. 3:54: Dancers end up inside and steal the show from stargazing Brits. Read more…

January 26, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Miley Cyrus For Cosmopolitan, March 2013

Miley Cosmopolitan coverMiley Cyrus does a lot of name-dropping in her “It’s Miley, Bitches” interview with Cosmo. The names of her “competition” or radio buddies (Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, Frank Ocean), collaborators (Tyler, The Creator, Mary J. Blige), influences (Johnny Cash, Nelly, Dolly Parton) and of course her husband, Liam not-Thor Hemsworth.

On being herself on her new album: I really didn’t want to make a hip-hop record, and I’m not trying at all to be a Rihanna or a Nicki [Minaj]….That’s not my vibe.

Her musical background: When I was growing up, my older brother would sneak me Nelly CDs, my dad had me listening to Dolly [Parton] and Johnny [Cash], and my mom is a complete metal head. So this record is a weird mixture of all that.  Read more…

January 26, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-26-13]

LeBron James hugLeBron James tackles and suffocates fan after half-court shot victory. (Yahoo!)

Ottawa venue employee calls police over Justin Bieber‘s Nerf Gun. (TMZ)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon sequel in the works. (Huffington Post)

Man who wrote Armageddon officially directing Star Wars VII. (Celebuzz)

Black men with criminal records not welcome on American Idol(Jezebel)

Superheroes pick, scratch and poop in “Secret Hero Life.” (Grouchy Muffin)

Beyonce scats at the inauguration in the latest Bad Lip Reading video. (ONTD!)

January 26, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Prince Tells Billboard Why He’s More Precious Than Madonna, Maroon 5 and Everyone Else

Prince billboard cover 2013Gail Mitchell is the senior editor for Billboard, specializing in R&B. Gail was recently given the task (or perhaps no one else would take it) of interviewing Prince.

On one hand it’s an honor and a once of a lifetime opportunity because he rarely speaks to reporters, on the other, he’s a tool. Such a tool in fact that he disallowed Mitchell from recording the conversation because she’s [obviously] going to sell his voice for her own personal gain, and frowned at her for taking notes because it’s rude, “just like texting.”

Mitchell recalled from memory Prince’s comments about his former label mate Madonna (who called him a “little troll” in 1994):

It was always about Madonna. She was getting paid, but at the same time we were selling more records and selling out concerts on multiple nights.  Read more…

January 26, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Mother-Daughter Porn Team Monica & Jessica Sexxton Give Morality Lessons

Monica and Jessica Sexton Howard Stern Porn stars Monica Sexxxton and Jessica Sexxxton are like any other adult entertainment workers who have starred in over 40 films, except that they’re a mother and daughter tag team.

On Wednesday, the duo appeared on Howard Stern’s radio show to talk about what they are and are not willing to do and why.

The daughter, Monica, seems genuinely disturbed by the thought of kissing her own mother, but has no problem taking “pictures of her asshole” and being next to her while she’s getting busy.

Read more…

January 25, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Matt Damon Gets Revenge on Jimmy Kimmel

Matt Damon Jimmy kimmelAfter years of Jimmy Kimmel teasing his audience with the age-old “My apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time” line, plus several cameos including one very memorable song, Matt finally, truly appeared on the show. Kimmel sat bound and gagged in the background as Damon acted as the host, Andy Garcia replaced security guard Guillermo and Sheryl Crow lead the band.

Damon pointed at Kimmel and then at himself saying,”Normally this program is hosted by that, tonight it’s being hosted by this,” and brought Jimmy’s real-life ex-girlfriend Sarah Silverman on the program, who roasted him by saying this about their relationship and why she dated him:  Read more…

January 25, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-25-13]

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak says Ashton Kutcher’s Steve Jobs acting sucks. (Cult of Mac)

Christian Bale does good deed. Calls Batman-obsessed 8-year-old with leukemia. (ABC)

The mayor of Las Vegas wants Harry’s naked bum back in town. (Entertainmentwise)

Mars Volta did their time/wore out their welcome. Announce split on Twitter. (Pitchfork)

You can now get sent to jail with actual criminals for unlocking cell phones. (Mashable)

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters might not be the comedic gold you expected. (Pajiba)

Top Model All-Star Lisa D’Amato smashed her face open after a failed handstand. (Evil Beet)

 

January 25, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Kris Jenner Spent 1989 With Her Legs Above Her Head, Ignoring Her Kids

Kris Jenner unfit motherForgive me, but I just find this story so goddamn funny. Not the neglectful part. Just that Kris Jenner was such a sex-obsessed, Fassbender-in-Shame-style 80’s nymphomaniac that she couldn’t be bothered to pick up a phone.

In an In Touch “exclusive,” which a rep for the Kardashian klan called “ridiculous,” the magazine claims to have obtained the late Robert Kardashian’s handwritten journals, which are full of complaints about his irresponsible ex-wife.

Inside, we learn (using “learn” loosely) that Kris kicked and beat Kim in August of 1989 and was so into Todd Waterman (that guy she just happened to run into on KUWTK) that she was never home.

Read more…

January 25, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Cameron Diaz’s Mentor Wants Her to Stop Bathing in Benjamins

Cameron Hair spermEveryone needs someone in their corner. Rocky had Paulie, Lisbeth had Mikael, Shaggy had Scooby, and Cameron Diaz has Gwyneth Paltrow.

According to The Sun, Gwyneth Paltula has disposed of Madonna’s dry, tasteless 54-year-old blood, placing her feeding straw against Cameron’s vital 40-year-old veins.

A source says Paltrow, who has tons in common with Diaz because they’re both blonde actresses, has “sorted out” her new friend’s finances and is forcing her to swear off sex for an entire year because men are a distracting waste of her time.

Really I just think Gwyneth wants everyone to share her boring married sex life. Or, she’s hoping her hymen will grow back so she can sell her into slavery. One of the two.

January 24, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Manti Te’o Plays Katie Couric His Fake Girlfriend’s Voicemails, Denies Gay Rumors

Manti Teo girlfriend memeManti Te’o answered the questions that were burning in the back of everyone’s minds on Thursday’s episode of KatieWell-worded versions of internet-favorites like “How could he be so f*cking stupid” and  “Is he a homo?”

The talented Notre Dame linebacker, whose online hoax (perpetrated by Ronaiah Tuiasosopo) spawned countless memes and an invisible Where’s Waldo “Manti Te’o Girlfriend” tumblr, also played some voicemails from fictional jealous beauty Lennay Kekua.  Read more…

January 24, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-24-13]

Kelly Osbourne Matthew Mosshart engagedEveryone but Kelly Osbourne thinks Kelly Osbourne got secretly engaged. (E! Online)

Bradley Cooper is interested in playing Lance Armstrong in a biopic. (NBC)

“No ill feelings” between Faith Evans and Biggie mistress Lil’ Kim. (ohmyGAHH!)

Taylor Swift sits in a Disney window with Disney hair extensions. (Celebuzz)

Peter Robbins, voice of Charlie Brown, arrested for stalking in San Diego. (TMZ)

Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey arguing some more (so glad I don’t watch). (Radar)

Overseas Ikea commercial causes a stir for joking about transgender women. (Inquisitr)

January 24, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Luke Perry Would Hypothetically Marry Donna, Shag Kelly and Kill Brenda

Beverly Hills 90210 memeIf you were ever wondering which Beverly Hills 90210 cast members Luke Perry would put a ring on, bone and murder, the answers are here.

Perry visited Watch What Happens Live on Tuesday when a caller presented him with the question and options.

“I’d marry Tori because I told her dad I’d look out for her,” Perry chivalrously replied. “That’s the best way for me to do that. I’d kill Shannen, because she’d want me to. And that’s the only reason.”

Then he grinned and asked “What was the other one?” fully knowing that he wanted to make Jennie Garth forget about Peter Facinelli by hypnotizing her with his forehead and penis wrinkles.

I assume talented, real-life and onscreen witch Shannen would “want” Luke to kill her because the hatred is mutual, and marriage or sex with him would melt her skin like a bucket filled with black licorice, Chris Brown and a Cabin in the Woods DVD would melt mine.

January 24, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

L.A. Woman Holds World Record For Largest Hips

woman with giant hips 39-year-old, 5’4″ Los Angeles native Mikel Ruffinelli‘s hips measure just over eight feet in circumference, making her the new world record holder.

“I love my shape and I see no reason to diet because I don’t have health problems,” the 420-pound mother of four and former plus-sized model told The World Record Academy.

Ruffinelli adds that she keeps her figure by consuming “Mexican food, English breakfasts and chips,” making sure to clarify that her and her husband have “an amazing time in bed” and are able to do every position.

I’m not even going to say anything mean. See how I’ve changed. It’s actually hard to not envy this woman’s confidence and seeming lack of self-consciousness.  Read more…

January 23, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

The Time Shia LeBeouf Dropped Acid and Asked Evan Rachel Wood For Acting Tips

Evan Rachel Wood Shia LeBeouf SundanceDuring an interview with MTV at Sundance, Shia LeBeouf sat with his Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman co-star Evan Rachel Wood and talked about how he prepared for his role as a young American man who travels to Romania because the spirit of his recently deceased mother tells him to. In the sit-down, LeBeouf praises Evan’s acting and talks about the time he dropped acid in real-life so he’d know how to act it out in the film.

“There’s a technique that Evan has that I don’t know yet. When I was 10 and she was 10 I was in [inaudible] pie fights. When I was 13 she was in Thirteen. I’ve always looked up to Evan,” he told a reporter in Park City, UT.

Read more…

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