Diane Lane filed for divorce from Josh Brolin last week because he’s not a fun drunk. (TMZ)
If only EVERYONE would hire Ben Foster instead of Shia LaBeouf. (New York Times)
Kelly Osbourne chose a messed up ankle over diving headfirst into toilet water. (Evil Beet)
Did you know Ben Affleck made a movie about hanging lesbians from meathooks? (EW)
Lindsay Lohan Edie Scissorhanded/Francesca Kruegered a $1,700 dress. (NY Daily News)
Star Wars Princess Carrie Fisher “incoherent” and careless on Dutch cruise ship? (Inquisitr)
Nicole Scherzinger too busy for “We Found Love,” “Crazy” and “Just Dance.” (Huffington Post)
In the spirit of straight-to-DVD From Dusk Till Dawn movies, Wild Wild West, Jonah Hex, Cowboys & Aliens and Nicolas Cage, I bring you Gallowwalkers…
Wesley Snipes hasn’t done much since going to the slammer for tax evasion in 2010, and despite still being there, he somehow managed to appear in this new horror/western that totally hopes to hook the fleshy cheeks of Blade fans. The only thing it seems to actually have in common with Blade is weird hair. But instead of that insanely manicured Blacula thing, we get dreadlocks and a salt and pepper goatee sharp enough to skewer Madonna’s elk meat biceps.
Gallowwalkers’ trailer thrives on bringing zombie-slaying to John Wayne’s genre for the third or fourth time, relying on cheesy catchphrases like “Out here, they come back.”
British men who aren’t Robert Pattinson voted Kristen Stewart the “least sexy actress” in Hollywood along with Lindsay Lohan, Uma Thurman, Sarah Jessica Parker and other unfortunate souls.
I’ve always thought Kristen Stewart was sexy in that dirty-pile-of-laundry, hang-you-from-the-ceiling-and-whip-you-with-butt-plugs type of way.
But clearly I’m not a man from England and my opinion is more meaningless than MenKind’s list.
[Adult Honey Boo Boo] Kendra Wilkinson‘s toddler has already seen her Playboy photos. (Radar)
Guy Fieri’s fake American Kitchen menu is better than the real thing/balls. (Grouchy Muffin
Are you honestly bored of, or still hypnotized by Kate Middleton’s royal baby bump? (TMZ)
Justin Timberlake returning to Saturday Night Live for a 5th time in March. (Huffington Post)
Look everyone, Taylor Swift sat in the same room as Harry Styles and no one died. (Celebuzz)
Adam Lambert is Chris Colfer’s long lost brother during cover of Rihanna’s “Stay.” (ohmyGAHH!)
What’s the big deal about Lisa Lampanelli calling Lena Dunham her “nigga” on Twitter? (Gawker)
I’m aware he wasn’t even in Tokyo Drift, but whatever. I actually like him, and the whole studio tour would have been even cooler if he had popped out of a house on Wisteria Lane waving in his Riddick glasses.
Cut the piñatas, set down the ping pong ball, pour out the beer and empty your confetti jar. Kim Kardashian is NOT going to stop appearing on television.
I repeat, Kim confirmed that she is signed on “through at least season 10” of the show after people misinterpreted an interview she did with Dujour and thought season nine of Keeping Up With The Kardashians would be her last.
“I think there’s always an evolution of, you know, what you want to do in life,” she originally told the magazine. “It’s all about finding things that really excite you and motivate you and spark you all over.”
…Yeah, probably a quote about motherhood and/or humping Kanye in a pile of Elizabeth Taylor memorabilia. Nothing to do with keeping her precious HD pores out of the spotlight.
Clive Davis and Kelly Clarkson’s feud is a little confusing. Here are the facts… Davis, CEO of Clarkson’s record label RCA, wrote a memoir called The Soundtrack of My Life. In the memoir, the 80-year-old producer credited for kickstarting the careers of talented acts like Whitney Houston, paints Kelly as an overly emotional twit with terrible instincts.
Specifically, he says Kelly was “hysterically sobbing” in his office because she hated what turned out to be the most successful songs from her 2004 sophomore album Breakaway.
Clarkson remembers it differently, writing an open letter on WhoSay about how Davis called her a “sh*tty writer” and told her to “just shut up and sing” after she performed the very personal “Because Of You.”
I’ll change my name to Stewball Madenski if Britney Spears doesn’t sing on her own albums. (Radar)
Justin Bieber‘s severed nutsack only worth $5,000? I was thinking five million. (Evil Beet)
Ashlee Simpson drinking because she’s alone and her dad and sister aren’t. (Huffington Post)
Mean, no-fun Jersey DMV won’t let you wear pasta strainer in your license photo. (Gawker)
Will.i.am just bought a $900,000 custom-made car because he thinks he’s Dick Tracy. (TMZ)
Soooo Michael Jackson’s 16-year-old son Prince just got a job with Entertainment Tonight, which is totally more prestigious than (but just as non-important as) Extra. Both shows hire weirdly interesting c-list, Surreal Life-worthy celebrities like Holly Madison and Robin Leach.
During his first gig interviewing Oz the Great and Powerful‘s James Franco, Sam Raimi and scrub Zach Braff, we learn that MJ Jr. has a pretty deep voice. Some fellow ET employee woman told him he seemed wise for his age and he
grabbed his crotch, lit his hair on fire and screamed “Ehhh-heee” said it was all thanks to his dad. Read more…
Usually, they relate to a current movie or music project, or a scandal related to them or an acquaintance. Or sometimes, they just ask about tattoos and period sex.
While following Sling Blade/soul patch legend Billy Bob Thornton, a reporter for TMZ said “It’s Valentine’s Day, you’re happy, you’re about to be with your lady, you’re excited but she’s on, on her thing, are you still going in or…?”
Billy Bob hesitantly answered, “Oh, Gosh. Well, normally I don’t divulge that kind of information, but I’ve never been shy.” Read more…
Alec Baldwin is being investigated for calling one New York Post photographer a “coon” and telling another that he wanted to choke her to death. Meanwhile, his wife is being sued for teaching crappy injury-causing yoga classes.
One story is easier to believe than the other since we all know Alec Baldwin once called his daughter a pig and wore a Klan robe on a public street in broad daylight. Baldwin denied making the racist remarks, which originated because he was asked about the allegations against his pregnant wife…
Rest in peace, Lakers/Sparks owner Jerry Buss. May there be topless women in heaven. (Deadspin)
Josh Groban cancelled an appearance because he’s afraid of go-go dancers. (Inquisitr)
Baby bump binoculars out for Fergie/blonde Yoko Ono at Heathrow airport. (E! Online)
Danica Patrick won an award for pole dancing 500 times, or something. (Yahoo!)
Evil hoarder Taylor Swift pocketing $1.8 million after cancelled concert. (NY Daily News)
Boy George lost weight by eating porridge with cherries and cinnamon. (Huffington Post)
Kraft spent a bunch of money to bring snooty Grey Poupon ads to the Oscars. (Grouchy Muffin)
I’m not a big fan of the term “fat shaming” because it’s a word women who call themselves feminists use alongside the word “objectifying.” (Which I really hate, because let’s face it, a lot of women are willingly objectified for pay and it’s called commercialism, not rape.)
If I was a hairy-pitted, Tom’s Deodorant-using hippie who just happened to catch the latest episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami down at the Y, I’d go on about how everybody examines Khloe’s cellulite under a microscope but nobody talks about Rob Kardashian’s weight gain because he’s a man. (Really I just want to make fun of him.)
On a Side Effects sex scene with Channing Tatum, Mara explains that she “put her foot down” when director Steven Soderbergh, who was also conducting the interview, asked her to try the position.
If the character should be nude in the scene and it makes sense and I trust the person making the film – and I regret my decision to trust you now that I know you more – then I don’t see a problem with it.
I certainly don’t want to be involved in anything that is gratuitous, but I don’t think the human body is something to be ashamed of. Read more…
Random “rappers,” including angry P. Diddy, attached to Scream & Shout remix. (ohmyGAHH!)
Mindy McCready was the fifth person from Celebrity Rehab to pass away. (Jezebel)
Lay’s cheesy garlic bread chips smell like vomit and taste like dirty feet. (Grouchy Muffin)
Kris Humphries would miss the playoffs for a chance to annoy Kim Kardashian. (TMZ)
Upper West Side store clerk falsely accuses Forest Whitaker of stealing. (Evil Beet)
Lil’ Wayne banned from Miami Heat arena because an affair with a player’s wife? (Deadspin)
I love you, Maya Rudolph, but you have too many kids. Please rest your uterus. (NY Daily News)
Rihanna scraped up her knee on a metal grate after partying it up with socialite model/Rita Ora bestie Cara Delvingn at a place called The Box. Eyewitnesses say a fan of unspecified gender threw an energy drink at her and scolded her for dating Chris Brown.
In a surprising twist, Rihanna went on a date with the fan the next day, then went on Good Morning America to talk about how wrong it was to forgive him/her, stayed away for a few years, then said ‘f*ck the
people who care about me haters’ and went back to the verbally abusive bottle-tosser. Read more…