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February 21, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Kim Kardashian NOT Going Into Hiding After Season 9 of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’

Kim Kardashian Elizabeth Taylor Cut the piñatas, set down the ping pong ball, pour out the beer and empty your confetti jar. Kim Kardashian is NOT going to stop appearing on television.

I repeat, Kim confirmed that she is signed on “through at least season 10″ of the show after people misinterpreted an interview she did with Dujour and thought season nine of Keeping Up With The Kardashians would be her last.

“I think there’s always an evolution of, you know, what you want to do in life,” she originally told the magazine. “It’s all about finding things that really excite you and motivate you and spark you all over.”

…Yeah, probably a quote about motherhood and/or humping Kanye in a pile of Elizabeth Taylor memorabilia. Nothing to do with keeping her precious HD pores out of the spotlight.

February 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Clive Davis is in the News a Bunch for Being a Heartless Queen

Clive Davis Kelly clarksonClive Davis and Kelly Clarkson’s feud is a little confusing. Here are the facts… Davis, CEO of Clarkson’s record label RCA, wrote a memoir called The Soundtrack of My Life. In the memoir, the 80-year-old producer credited for kickstarting the careers of talented acts like Whitney Houston, paints Kelly as an overly emotional twit with terrible instincts.

Specifically, he says Kelly was “hysterically sobbing” in his office because she hated what turned out to be the most successful songs from her 2004 sophomore album Breakaway.

Clarkson remembers it differently, writing an open letter on WhoSay about how Davis called her a “sh*tty writer” and told her to “just shut up and sing” after she performed the very personal “Because Of You.”

Read more…

February 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-20-13]

Britney Spears Scream and ShoutI’ll change my name to Stewball Madenski if Britney Spears doesn’t sing on her own albums. (Radar)

Justin Bieber‘s severed nutsack only worth $5,000? I was thinking five million. (Evil Beet)

You’ve already seen Madonna’s boyfriend shirtless, but here he is again. (ohmyGAHH!)

Ashlee Simpson drinking because she’s alone and her dad and sister aren’t. (Huffington Post)

Mean, no-fun Jersey DMV won’t let you wear pasta strainer in your license photo. (Gawker)

Will.i.am just bought a $900,000 custom-made car because he thinks he’s Dick Tracy. (TMZ)

Republican Bob Beckel says rapes don’t actually happen on college campuses. (The Right Scoop)

February 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Michael Jackson’s Son is Going to be a Big Television Star

Prince Michael JacksonSoooo Michael Jackson’s 16-year-old son Prince just got a job with Entertainment Tonight, which is totally more prestigious than (but just as non-important as) Extra. Both shows hire weirdly interesting c-list, Surreal Life-worthy celebrities like Holly Madison and Robin Leach.

During his first gig interviewing Oz the Great and Powerful‘s James Franco, Sam Raimi and scrub Zach Braff, we learn that MJ Jr. has a pretty deep voice. Some fellow ET employee woman told him he seemed wise for his age and he grabbed his crotch, lit his hair on fire and screamed “Ehhh-heee” said it was all thanks to his dad.  Read more…

February 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Shark Week Sex Never Off Limits for Towel-Laying Maverick Billy Bob Thornton

Billy Bob Thornton Beverly HillsIf you haven’t already noticed, paparazzi like to ask celebrities a wide variety of strange questions.

Usually, they relate to a current movie or music project, or a scandal related to them or an acquaintance. Or sometimes, they just ask about tattoos and period sex.

While following Sling Blade/soul patch legend Billy Bob Thornton, a reporter for TMZ said “It’s Valentine’s Day, you’re happy, you’re about to be with your lady, you’re excited but she’s on, on her thing, are you still going in or…?”

Billy Bob hesitantly answered, “Oh, Gosh. Well, normally I don’t divulge that kind of information, but I’ve never been shy.”  Read more…

February 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Alec Baldwin and His Wife Commit Hate Crimes and Throw People Out Windows

Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas casualAlec Baldwin is being investigated for calling one New York Post photographer a “coon” and telling another that he wanted to choke her to death. Meanwhile, his wife is being sued for teaching crappy injury-causing yoga classes.

One story is easier to believe than the other since we all know Alec Baldwin once called his daughter a pig and wore a Klan robe on a public street in broad daylight. Baldwin denied making the racist remarks, which originated because he was asked about the allegations against his pregnant wife…

Allegations that she, Hilaria Thomas, yoga instructor extraordinaire, overbooked a class and the overbooking supposedly resulted in a man putting his leg through a window.  Read more…

February 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-19-13]

PENTHOUSE BUSSRest in peace, Lakers/Sparks owner Jerry Buss. May there be topless women in heaven. (Deadspin)

Josh Groban cancelled an appearance because he’s afraid of go-go dancers. (Inquisitr)

Baby bump binoculars out for Fergie/blonde Yoko Ono at Heathrow airport. (E! Online)

Danica Patrick won an award for pole dancing 500 times, or something. (Yahoo!)

Evil hoarder Taylor Swift pocketing $1.8 million after cancelled concert. (NY Daily News)

Boy George lost weight by eating porridge with cherries and cinnamon. (Huffington Post)

Kraft spent a bunch of money to bring snooty Grey Poupon ads to the Oscars. (Grouchy Muffin)

February 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Let’s Fat Shame Rob Kardashian The Way Dudes Fat Shame Khloe

Rob Kardashian fatI’m not a big fan of the term “fat shaming” because it’s a word women who call themselves feminists use alongside the word “objectifying.” (Which I really hate, because let’s face it, a lot of women are willingly objectified for pay and it’s called commercialism, not rape.)

If I was a hairy-pitted, Tom’s Deodorant-using hippie who just happened to catch the latest episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami down at the Y, I’d go on about how everybody examines Khloe’s cellulite under a microscope but nobody talks about Rob Kardashian’s weight gain because he’s a man. (Really I just want to make fun of him.)

Read more…

February 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Rooney Mara Axed Reverse Cowgirl in ‘Side Effects’

Channing and RooneyWe often hear about actresses who are willing to do nudity that is “tasteful,” but we rarely hear what they actually won’t do.

In a feature for Interview Magazine, Rooney Mara says she draws the line at reverse cowgirl.

On a Side Effects sex scene with Channing Tatum, Mara explains that she “put her foot down”  when director Steven Soderbergh, who was also conducting the interview, asked her to try the position.

If the character should be nude in the scene and it makes sense and I trust the person making the film – and I regret my decision to trust you now that I know you more – then I don’t see a problem with it.

I certainly don’t want to be involved in anything that is gratuitous, but I don’t think the human body is something to be ashamed of.  Read more…

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

There’s No Getting Around It – Oscar Pistorius Meant To Kill His Girlfriend

Oscar Pistorius cryingThere are still friends, family and devout fans of Oscar Pistorius who do not want to explore the possibility that the murder of his girlfriend was not an accident, but if the police and news reports are even remotely correct, there is simply no way that it was.

30-year-old FHM model Reeva Steenkamp was shot four times through a door in the hand and head. Reports suggest that a first bullet hit her in the hip while she was in the bedroom, and that she was later chased into the bathroom. Even if she wasn’t attacked before entering the bathroom, there is little to no chance that Pistorius mistook her for an intruder.

Most people scream (or make recognizable noises of some sort) when their life is in danger…

Read more…

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-18-13]

Random “rappers,” including angry P. Diddy, attached to Scream & Shout remix. (ohmyGAHH!)

Mindy McCready was the fifth person from Celebrity Rehab to pass away. (Jezebel)

Lay’s cheesy garlic bread chips smell like vomit and taste like dirty feet. (Grouchy Muffin)

Kris Humphries would miss the playoffs for a chance to annoy Kim Kardashian. (TMZ)

Upper West Side store clerk falsely accuses Forest Whitaker of stealing. (Evil Beet)

Lil’ Wayne banned from Miami Heat arena because an affair with a player’s wife? (Deadspin)

I love you, Maya Rudolph, but you have too many kids. Please rest your uterus. (NY Daily News)

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

‘Fan’ Takes Chris Brown-Related Anger Out on Rihanna’s Knee

Rihanna bloody kneeOne second Rihanna‘s living Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” in the corner of an L.A. nightclub opposite Chris Brown, the next she’s in London dodging bottles.

Rihanna scraped up her knee on a metal grate after partying it up with socialite model/Rita Ora bestie Cara Delvingn at a place called The Box. Eyewitnesses say a fan of unspecified gender threw an energy drink at her and scolded her for dating Chris Brown.

In a surprising twist, Rihanna went on a date with the fan the next day, then went on Good Morning America to talk about how wrong it was to forgive him/her, stayed away for a few years, then said ‘f*ck the people who care about me haters’ and went back to the verbally abusive bottle-tosser.  Read more…

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Country Star Mindy McCready, 37, Commits Suicide (Nov. 30, 1975 – Feb. 17, 2013)

Mindy McCready livePlatinum-certified “Guys Do It All the Time” singer Mindy McCready shot and killed herself on the porch of her home in Heber Springs, Arkansas at around 3:30 pm Sunday afternoon.

McCready had an arrest record stretching from 2004 to 2008 and struggled to meet the guidelines of her probation due to alcohol and prescription drug addictions.

In 2010 she appeared in season three of VH1’s Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew.  

The mother of two was involved in relationships with high-profile MLB pitcher Roger Clemens, actor Dean Cain, musician Billy McKnight (who was arrested for viciously attacking her eight years ago), and producer David Wilson.  Read more…

February 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Blue Ivy Has a Face (With a Mouth and Eyes!)

Blue Ivy Carter faceJay-Z and Beyonce may soon be able to retire and live off a steady income generated by road dog, friend and daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. Before birth, the announcement of Ivy’s existence almost broke Google and Twitter and made the 2011 VMAs the most watched in MTV’s history…

After birth, BIC’s heartbeat and screams on “Glory” helped her become the youngest person credited on a Billboard-charting song (watch the throne, Quvenzhané Wallis). Now her face, which we already saw last February, is causing a succinct, universal “awwww.”

Crashing servers left and right is Ivy’s unimpressed upside-down smile, taken from the HBO documentary, Life is But a Dream. Looks familiar, huh?

February 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Hugh Jackman’s Wife Takes Issue With You Thinking He’s Gayer Than a Box of Rainbows

Hugh Jackman gayHugh Jackman has the chest hairs and bulging veins of a young Susan Boyle, the voice of a harp-playing angel, and charm worthy of The Rat Pack – but that does not mean he’s gay.

Like Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Matthew Broderick, Jackman has been at the center of many a homoerotic whisper ever since he sang songs like “Bi-coastal” in the Broadway production of The Boy From Oz.

A contrasting role as cigar-smoking man’s man Logan/Wolverine in X-Men and 17 years of marriage to Deborra-Lee Furness, who he met on a TV set 1994, has done nothing to convince the disbelievers.

“Just recently, it bugs her,” Jackman told The Hollywood Reporter, of Furness’ feelings on the matter. “She goes, ‘It’s big. It’s everywhere [on the Internet]! ”  Read more…

February 16, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Lena Dunham Discusses Sex OCD and Being Generational in Rolling Stone

Lena Dunham RS cropped

Last week, Lena Dunham told a well-behaved crowd at a Boston museum that the “I may be the voice of my generation,” line from Girls haunts her.

Also haunting her since the 2012 pilot of the show: criticism about the lack of diversity and of course, her body. Just last Sunday a corner of the internet exploded because of an episode (called “One Man’s Trash”) where Dunham, who dates .fun guitarist Jack Antonoff in real life, played naked ping-pong with a conventionally attractive older man played by Patrick Wilson. (Wilson’s wife jumped to Dunham’s defense on Twitter, listing her own flaws.)

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, comedian, writer, actress, and actual feminist Lena Dunham admits she doesn’t always feel “connected” to the twentysomething lifestyle.  Read more…

February 15, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Hilaria Thomas Screamed Bloody Murder Over Positive Pregnancy Test

Hilaria Thomas pregnantBig dreamin’ yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas confirmed the strength of high-end Baldwin sperm during an airing of Extra. It’s less the baby and more the sound she made when she found out that I’m interested in.

Alec explains that he heard his wife yowling in the bathroom and ran in to save her from an imminent death that actually turned out to be her reaction to double lines on the pregnancy test.

“There’s a scream I heard, which is a scream normally reserved for if there’s a spider in the house, not exaggerating,” Baldwin said. “So then I hear that scream again, but it was not a spider.”

Can you imagine a world where women become pregnant after spotting those little eight-eyed bastards?

Read more…

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