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January 16, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Like Jodie Foster, ‘Argo’ Actor Victor Garber is a Longtime Gay

Victor Garber boyfriendCharming salt and pepper-headed Canadian actor Victor Garber (left) of Titanic and Argo fame told a determined reporter at the Television Critics Association press tour in California that he is in fact gay.

“I don’t really talk about it, but everybody knows,” he responded after the journalist asked him about the man Wikipedia has rightly listed as his boyfriend.

The partner in question is bearded hunk Rainer Andreesen, a former model and current artist who has been at Garber’s side for 14 years.  Read more…

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January 15, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Aisha Tyler Doesn’t Know Why She Wore This Dress

Aisha Tyler see through dress 1Actress, video game aficionado, Girl On Guy podcast creator, voice of Archer‘s Lana Kane and Self-Inflicted Wounds: How I Learned to Embrace the Epic Fail author Aisha Tyler roasted her fashion choices today during her other gig, on The Talk.

When discussing Megan Fox letting her husband pick out an outfit, Tyler admitted that she had no idea what she was thinking when she wore a see-through dress to the NAACP Image Awards without asking anyone’s opinion first.

(I don’t know exactly when she wore this, but it must have been sometime between 2001 and 2006.) Here are some of her comments on it…

“If you see this photo online, I don’t look gorgeous, I look like a who-re.”  Read more…

January 15, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-15-13]

Selena Gomez Josh Hutcherson GlobesSelena Gomez stood next to Josh Hutcherson at Globes afterparty, is now his wife. (Evil Beet)

The NRA made a first-person shooter for ages four and up. How educational. (Kotaku)

Lady Gaga should probably retire that old machine gun bra of hers. (News.com.au)

Trendy Frankenstein/new Lohan Amanda Bynes pierced her cheek. (Too Fab)

Bradley Cooper is the one guy in entertainment who won’t date Taylor Swift. (Radar)

Geniuses Deadmau5 and Kat Von D explain why their engagement ring is ugly. (Celebuzz)

Anna Kendrick SO CLOSE to getting arrested for lewd conduct in movie theater. (E! Online)

January 15, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Funny Video: Sh*t Girls Say To Gay Guys Part Two

Best part of the new sequel to “Shit Girls Say To Gay Guys” by and starring YouTube user Soundly Awake aka Nick Foti: when he sings “On My Own” from Les Miserables.

I’m guilty of saying at least two of these phrases to my poor “gay husband” Alejandro, but to be fair, he’s the one who says I’m a gay man disguised as a woman (because of my Calvin Harris obsession).

January 15, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Justin Timberlake’s New Song ‘Suit & Tie’ is Rubbish

Justin Timberlake middle fingerI’ve loved Justin Timberlake ever since I found out there was an alternative to the Backstreet Boys. I put up with his cornrows, cross tattoo, and matching denim cowboy hat and jacket because I knew he would always bring me joy with his luscious musical talents and kind blue eyes, but now I see that his recent marriage to Jessica Biel has rusted his gift, and something must be done!

Though I’m positive that the new song, “Suit & Tie” featuring Jay-Z, is a rushed, throwaway b-side track to appease the fans and by no means a gauge of what the album he’s working on (The 20/20 Experiencewill be like, I also know as a longtime Timberlake fan that it’s the fault of his current girlfriend, or in this case, wife.

Read more…

January 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Best and Worst Moments and Fashion at the 2013 Golden Globes

Amy and Tina Golden Globes

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Blew Ricky Gervais and all other hosts out of the water

For some reason, humanity has yet to come up with good word for the female version of a bromance. Regardless, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s girlmance/clam-admiration rivals all.

The two SNL funnyladies got laughs without really making fun of anyone. Do you have any idea how hard that is? No, you don’t, because they made it look SO DAMN EASY. Blast.

Tina: Tonight we honor the television shows that have entertained us all year, as well as the films that have only been in theaters for two days. 

Amy: That’s what makes tonight so special, only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television [pan to Quentin Tarantino].  Read more…

January 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-14-13]

Liam McIntyre war of the damnedWatch the new trailer for the final season of Spartacus, War of the Damned. (ohmyGAHH!)

Jose Canseco randomly wants to be the non-Canadian mayor of Toronto. (ONTD!)

One-armed Bachelor contestant Sarah Herron gives hope to many. (Wetpaint)

Dita Von Teese and Russell Crowe get massages together, flirt on Twitter. (Evil Beet)

300/Sucker Punch director Zack Synder working on Samurai Star Wars?? (i09)

Taylor Swift has only dated six people, since 2007? That’s not so bad. (Celebuzz)

Shining star of the past Heather Graham takes a bath, lights her clothes on fire. (Jezebel)

January 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Jodie Foster Says You’re Dumb For Expecting a Jodie Foster Coming-Out Speech, is Not Retiring

Jodie Foster Coming Out SpeechEven though Jodie Foster knows that anyone who needs her to tell them she’s gay to believe it has to have the brain cells of a collard green, she finally decided to address the issue publicly in a very touching, very in-your-face speech at the 70th annual Golden Globes on Sunday.

“I hope you’re not disappointed that there won’t be a big coming out speech tonight, because I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago, back in the stone age,” Foster told a surprised, laughter-filled audience during her acceptance of the Cecille B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award.

Foster joked that she is “not Honey Boo Boo Child,” and that isn’t a travesty because her reality show would be “so boring,” then continued on about privacy being a thing of the past.  Read more…

January 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Kobe and Vanessa Bryant Announce Their Reconciliation, Because… Why Not?

Vanessa Bryant InstagramPeople have long suspected that something fishy was going on with Kobe Bryant and Vanessa Bryant, who filed for divorce in 2011 citing irreconcilable adultery (I mean “differences”).

After spending time kissing at Staples Center and eating steak together, the couple have officially announced the end of their divorce proceedings and the beginning of, nothing important.

“We are pleased to announce that we have reconciled,” Vanessa posted in Instagram text-to-photo format. “Our divorce action will be dismissed. We are looking forward to our future together.”

Read more…

January 13, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Jennifer Lawrence Envisions Saying ‘Screw All You Guys’ at Awards Shows (as Her Pants Fall Off)

Jennifer Lawrence awards season 2013Awards season has arrived, and after tonight, Jennifer Lawrence will already have attended The People’s Choice Awards, the Film Critics Awards and The Golden Globes.

Lawrence, who usually receives praise for her red carpet threads, tells E! News“I’m not a fashion person so me looking at a sketch is like looking at a long-division math problem. I just don’t know what I’m looking at so it’s really nerve-racking.”

And, in regards to acceptance speeches, recently single Lawrence (R.I.P., Tony from Skins) imagines a very specific worst-case scenario… Read more…

January 13, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-13-13]

Harry Styles Four Nipples Kiss youHarry Styles doesn’t have one nipple, two nipples, or three nipples. He has four. (E! Online)

A millisecond of “What Makes You Beautiful,” by Emma Stone. (Just Jared)

Jackie Chan says America is the worst, most corrupt country (and China is the best). (ONTD!)

Marriage in the books for Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis. (Evil Beet)

Lady Gaga the only person who takes adolescents “seriously?” (Huffington Post)

Victoria’s Secret model Barbara Palvin never did anything sexy with Justin Bieber. (Celebuzz)

Jason Trawick not allowed to talk about Britney Spears‘ crazy behavior, by contract. (TMZ)

January 13, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Novelist Jonathan Franzen Heckled at Reading in Portland, OR

Jonathan Franzen James SpaderOn Thursday I went to a reading by author of The Corrections, and Freedom, Oprah-feuder, luddite and Time Magazine’s last “Great American Novelist,” Jonathan Franzen.

He read from a new piece he’s working on, a piece that consists wholly of footnotes on Karl Kraus, the Austrian satirist who Franzen relates to and calls “The Great Hater.”

Franzen spent much of the night comparing Kraus’ hatred for newspapers to his own hatred of technology, specifically Facebook, Apple, Twitter and Amazon.

Right after delving into why he dislikes Amazon (‘Like, half my friends own independent bookstores’), a woman who I assume was over 35 yelled, “I BOUGHT YOUR BOOK ON AMAZON!”  Read more…

January 13, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Ke$ha – “C’mon”

In the video for “C’mon,” Ke$ha is a lollipop-licking, pigtail-having magician moonlighting as a waitress who doesn’t give people coffee because she’s too pissed off about her boss sexually harassing her.

Apparently Ke$ha’s type = guys with beards, AND furries (read more about that HERE), as well.

Read more…

January 12, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Britney Spears and Jason Trawick to Remain ‘Friends’ After Break-Up

Britney Spears and Jason TrawickFragile, mental 12-year-old Britney Spears and  facial 50-year-old Jason Trawick have called it quits after three and a half years, but Britney and her rep insist that she will remain friends with her former fiancé.

Britney’s statement: “Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement. I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends.”

Her rep: Britney Spears and Jason Trawick have mutually agreed to end their one-year engagement. As two mature adults, they came to the difficult decision to go their separate ways while continuing to remain friends.”  Read more…

January 12, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-12-13]

Evan Rachel Wood GlamourEvan Rachel Wood “thrilled” about getting accidentally knocked up. (NY Daily News)

Shave your goatee before the cops arrest your pedo ass, Michael Phelps. (Evil Beet)

Aaron Swartz, RSS writer and co-founder of Reddit, commits suicide. (Gawker)

There is a god! Two And A Half Men cast not signed on for season 11. (Celebuzz)

Megan Fox still not a social networking butterfly, quits Twitter. (Huffington Post)

Antique-collector Taylor Swift and Harry Styles were sexually incompatible. (Jezebel)

Brian Williams frequently visits the Girls set to see his daughter fornicate. (News Busters)

January 12, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Lady Gaga and Little Monsters Vs. Kelly and Sharon Osbourne (…and Joan Rivers)

Lady Gaga Kelly OsbourneLast week, Kelly Osbourne started a feud with Lady Gaga after telling Fabulous magazine that Gaga needs to put a leash on her fans because they are the ‘worst in the world.’

Gaga responded to Osbourne telling the press that Little Monsters told her to kill herself and that they hope she gets raped in a lengthy online message that read:

“I have empathy for you Kelly, but I feel it culturally important to note that you have chosen a less compassionate path.”

This is in reference to Fashion Police, the show in which Joan Rivers wittily compares women’s dresses to tampons, which Gaga says is “rooted in criticism, judgment, and rating people’s beauty against one another.”  Read more…

January 12, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Trailer: The Last Exorcism Part II

I remember writing a review for The Last Exorcism… It was actually less of a review and more 200 insults in 862 words.

I’ve tried to find a link but the website, CWG, has been defunct for the past year or so. Snippet:

“There’s nothing I hate more than a movie that spends 90 slow minutes setting up average plot and characters, then spends the last 10 making me wonder if the writers smoked meth and lost the original last pages of the script.”  Read more…

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