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January 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Selena Sings ‘Cry Me A River,’ Justin Shows His Butt

Justin Bieber censored crack Who the hell knows what’s going on with Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez from week to week. One second they’re together, the next they’re mooning each other and singing cheating anthems by Justin Timberlake.

On Saturday Justin posted and then deleted a photo of his bare behind, hashtag “moon.” On the other side of the world (or just in New York), Selena Gomez was covering “Cry Me A River,” emphasizing the lyric “It wasn’t like you only talked to her and you know it” not long after her little meeting with supposed Bieber-mistress Barbara Palvin at the Golden Globes.  Read more…

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January 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-20-13]

Stan Musial black and whiteStan “The Man” Musial (R.I.P.) was the best, least showy hitter ever. (New York Times)

Bossy Barbara Walters is alert in hospital after falling and cutting her forehead. (Jezebel)

Manti Te’o first on-camera interview with Katie Couric will air Thursday. (TMZ)

No plea bargain for Lindsay Lohan could mean serious jail time. (Daily Mail)

Red 2 is all guns, explosions, Bruce Willis’ head, wisecracks and fogies. (ONTD!)

Accidental shootings at gun shows/purposeful shooting in NM. (USA Today/L.A. Times)

Eddie Cibrian sex can happen all day, whenever he whistles or points at LeAnn. (Evil Beet)

January 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Manti Te’o Clears The Air, Says ‘Never Ever Would I Be Part of This’

Manti Te'o Notre Dame AlabamaManti Te’o admitted in an audio interview with ESPN Friday that he tailored his stories so people would think that he had met Lennay Kekua, the woman he believed to be his girlfriend, who was actually a fictional character created by Ronaiah Tuiasosopo and two other people.

“You know I even knew that it was crazy that I was with someone that I didn’t meet. And let alone people find out that this girl who died who I was so invested in, I didn’t meet her as well,” Te’o told Jeremy Schaap.  Read more…

January 20, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

People Keep Accidentally Posting Naked Pics on eBay

Naked man in tea kettleI’ve always been too impatient for eBay. I don’t want to have to compete for a freaking laptop cord because I have important things to do, like trying to figure out the who, what, why, where and when of American Horror Story: Asylum.

Perhaps if I had known that eBay is a secret breeding ground for more than just baseball cards and Harry Potter collectibles, I would have been more enthusiastic about browsing their wares.

After a British seller named Aimi Jones snapped a naked photo of herself standing next to a yellow dress, The Sun and Daily Mail compiled a collection of equally (or more) depraved eBay reflection shots.  Read more…

January 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Guillermo del Toro-Produced ‘Mama’ Destroyed by CGI

Megan Charpentier mamaGuillermo del Toro, who often produces for first time directors, became involved with the latest PG-13 ghost story in theaters after Spanish commercial-director Andrés Muschietti sent him a short film.

Sadly, Mamá the short is much more captivating than Mama the feature starring Jessica Chastain as the non-maternal bass player-girlfriend of a man (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Game of Thrones) whose brother recently died after committing a heinous crime.

Here’s a plot summary, from del Toro himself (void of spoilers unless you haven’t seen a preview):

“The kids are abandoned in the woods by their father. It’s half-fairy tale, half-horror film, and they survive five years in the wilderness and nobody knows exactly how. And the thing that kept them alive is a ghost. It looked after them, it’s a presence of a dead mother. And then they come back to civilization and it comes with them.”  Read more…

January 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-19-13]

Pamela Anderson beehiveBlonde Snooki Winehouse Pamela Anderson arrives in Amsterdam for Dancing on Ice. (Celebuzz)

Jessica Simpson is having a boy baby, will probably name him Trojan. (Evil Beet)

Born This Way Inaugural Ball coming to the White House via Lady Gaga. (Yahoo!)

Jamie Foxx says Django-hater Spike Lee has “run his course.” (ONTD!)

Famous British record store HMV may not be going out of business after all. (NME)

Anderson Cooper dated women when he was younger (to meet their brothers). (ohmyGAHH!)

Indie flick Kill Your Darlings has multiple drugged-up Daniel Radcliffe sex scenes. (Huffington Post)

January 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Lance Armstrong: ‘Yes’ To Banned Substances, ‘No’ to Details or Anti-Doping Statements

Lance Armstrong OprahOprah’s two-part interview with Lance Armstrong aired exclusively on OWN Thursday and Friday. Armstrong begins by answering “yes” to questions like “Did you ever take banned substances?”

Later, Oprah asks if it would have been “humanly possible” to win the Tour de France seven times without doping.

“Not in my opinion. That generation. I didn’t invent the culture, but I didn’t try to stop the culture,” he responds.

The New York Times and other outlets have accused the champion bicyclist of being more “self-serving” than accurate in his confession and not speaking strongly enough against doping.  Read more…

January 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Funny Video: A Bad Lip Reading of the NFL

See what Tom Brady, Mike Tomlin, Peyton Manning, Pete Carroll, Jason Garrett, Andy Dalton, Matt Schaub, Adrian Peterson and other NFL bigwigs are actually saying during the game?

I bet “You threw your hotdog up over here” and “I want cake now” is exactly what you imagined.

January 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Lena Dunham Talks Racism, Nudity, Jodie Foster, Heels and Body Image with Howard Stern

Lena Dunham howard SternLena Dunham called in to The Howard Stern Show on the 16th, covering a plethora of topics including her own nudity, the lack of nudity from the other female cast members on Girls, the ethnicity controversy, and Howard’s original and new opinion of her and the show.

Dunham said she first found out about Howard’s criticism of her while sitting backstage at The Today Show with British co-star Jemima Kirke and that she “thought it was funny” that he compared her to Jonah Hill (she returned the favor by comparing him to her presumably feisty Grandma Dot).  Read more…

January 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-18-13]

Hurricane Sandy models vogueAnnie Leibovitz shoots sexy Hurricane Sandy firefighters and models for Vogue. (Gawker)

Breaking news: Michelle Obama changed her hair! Has bangs now. (Hollywood Life)

Elizabeth Banks says you’re not a real mom until you have two kids. (Evil Beet)

The son of the woman who created Barney arrested for attempted murder. (Daily Mail)

Manti Te’o‘s dated a fake girlfriend to distract from his sexuality? (Huffington Post)

Find out who’s the woman in David Furnish and Elton John’s relationship. (RumorFix)

Channing Tatum’s wife stole his hair, took his sperm and makes him hold boxes. (ohmyGAHH!)

January 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

A Brief Summary of Events in the Confusing Case of Manti Te’o’s Fake Online Girlfriend

Manti Teo Lennay KekuThe story of promising Notre Dame University linebacker and Heisman-contender Manti Te’o‘s girlfriend is confusing. Since it’s already all over the news, I’ll attempt to explain it to you in the simplest way.

On October 10, 2011, a woman using the name Lennay Kekua contacted the then 19-year-old football player on Twitter. They quickly became “friends” who interacted frequently, taking it to the next level a few months later, in January of 2012.

In September, Te’o lost his grandma and his online girlfriend, who was thought to have been diagnosed with leukemia.  Read more…

January 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Trailer: Spring Breakers

Last year in September I wrote about the upcoming soon-to-be-forgotten disaster that is Spring Breakers, a movie consisting of half-naked ABC Family and Disney stars like Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Ashley Benson.

James Franco, who once wrote about the difference between fantasy and reality and only working on movies he “cares about,” is a cornrowed nightmare in this, smiling his creepy metal grin at young girls who appear to be the fantasy to his nightmare.  Read more…

January 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Jennifer Lawrence DID NOT Diss Meryl Streep at the Globes, Was Merely Quoting a 90’s Favorite

Jennifer Lawrence David Letterman 2013Before you completely disregard Jennifer Lawrence as the egomaniacal monster who dissed Meryl Streep at the Golden Globes, hear her out.

On Tuesday, Lawrence told David Letterman that her intentions were never ill-meaning, and that she was simply quoting The First Wives Club when she said “I beat Meryl” after winning the Best Actress award.

“It’s never a good idea for me to wing it, but it was a quote from ‘First Wives Club’!” She told the late night host.

I’m not on Twitter, but Twitter is very upset,” she said, mentioning that she was toying with the idea of making a public statement after Lindsay Lohan (and many others) Tweeted about it.  Read more…

January 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-17-13]

Nicki Minaj american idol faceLess people tuned into this year’s American Idol auditions than last year’s. (Celebuzz)

Kim Kardashian tired of the “fake and fraud rumors,” would love to be divorced. (People)

Pauline Phillips, otherwise known as “Dear Abby,” dead at 94. (New York Times)

Nicole Kidman prefers her ass-obsessed pervs non-violent. (ohmyGAHH!)

Cheating husband Eddie Cibrian has cheating wife LeAnn Rimes worried. (Evil Beet)

The Queen bought Kate and William a $10 million country house. (Celebrity Dirty Laundry)

Honey Boo Boo’s Uncle Poodle has been HIV-positive since May of last year. (Us Weekly)

January 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Obama Proposes Civilian Assault Weapon Ban and Background Checks For All Firearm Buyers

Obama gun conferenceAfter over a month of depressing post-Sandy Hook gun “solutions” from the NRA, one Piers Morgan deportation petition and a million opinions from every political and non-political corner of the earth, Obama has finally set a plan in motion to combat rampant gun-related homicides in America.

During a press conference on Wednesday morning, Obama proposed legislation that would require criminal background checks for all gun sales and ban assault rifles and armor-piercing bullets to anyone but law enforcement and military officials.

“[Gun violence] has terrible consequence for our society … and if we can only do one thing to stop it, we should all try and do that,” he told a crowd of reporters at the televised event.  Read more…

January 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Demi Moore Laps Up Mud and Younger Men at Bikini Boot Camp

Demi Moore MudAccording to Radar/Star, Demi Moore spent her Christmas vacation in Mexico at “Amansala’s Bikini Bootcamp.”

Amansala’s BBC is an eco-chic (yes, that’s a thing) resort that incorporates activities like yoga, mud-baths, Zumba, meditation, heathy eating and circuit training into your daily routine.

Sounds like a nightmare, but it’s all true. Questionable Star Magazine part ahead….

“A guest” told the publication she was cougar-ing it up, ignoring the scarce selection of fifty-somethings for the 28 to 33 year-olds, all while using the discreet summer camp counselor-style codename “Topper.”  Read more…

January 16, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Megan Fox Apologizes For Telling The Truth About Lindsay Lohan

Megan Fox Esquire 2013Megan Fox apologized on Facebook for calling her Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen co-star Lindsay Lohan an unreliable actress with a lot of potential.

While explaining in an interview why she had her Marilyn Monroe tattoo lasered off, Fox drew comparisons between her (Marilyn) and Lindsay.

“She wasn’t powerful at the time. She was sort of like Lindsay. She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable. She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered,” she told Esquire.

Fox said on Facebook that she wanted to clarify her comments before “something silly” happened.  Read more…

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