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February 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Let’s Fat Shame Rob Kardashian The Way Dudes Fat Shame Khloe

Rob Kardashian fatI’m not a big fan of the term “fat shaming” because it’s a word women who call themselves feminists use alongside the word “objectifying.” (Which I really hate, because let’s face it, a lot of women are willingly objectified for pay and it’s called commercialism, not rape.)

If I was a hairy-pitted, Tom’s Deodorant-using hippie who just happened to catch the latest episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami down at the Y, I’d go on about how everybody examines Khloe’s cellulite under a microscope but nobody talks about Rob Kardashian’s weight gain because he’s a man. (Really I just want to make fun of him.)

Read more…

February 19, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Rooney Mara Axed Reverse Cowgirl in ‘Side Effects’

Channing and RooneyWe often hear about actresses who are willing to do nudity that is “tasteful,” but we rarely hear what they actually won’t do.

In a feature for Interview Magazine, Rooney Mara says she draws the line at reverse cowgirl.

On a Side Effects sex scene with Channing Tatum, Mara explains that she “put her foot down”  when director Steven Soderbergh, who was also conducting the interview, asked her to try the position.

If the character should be nude in the scene and it makes sense and I trust the person making the film – and I regret my decision to trust you now that I know you more – then I don’t see a problem with it.

I certainly don’t want to be involved in anything that is gratuitous, but I don’t think the human body is something to be ashamed of.  Read more…

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

There’s No Getting Around It – Oscar Pistorius Meant To Kill His Girlfriend

Oscar Pistorius cryingThere are still friends, family and devout fans of Oscar Pistorius who do not want to explore the possibility that the murder of his girlfriend was not an accident, but if the police and news reports are even remotely correct, there is simply no way that it was.

30-year-old FHM model Reeva Steenkamp was shot four times through a door in the hand and head. Reports suggest that a first bullet hit her in the hip while she was in the bedroom, and that she was later chased into the bathroom. Even if she wasn’t attacked before entering the bathroom, there is little to no chance that Pistorius mistook her for an intruder.

Most people scream (or make recognizable noises of some sort) when their life is in danger…

Read more…

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-18-13]

Random “rappers,” including angry P. Diddy, attached to Scream & Shout remix. (ohmyGAHH!)

Mindy McCready was the fifth person from Celebrity Rehab to pass away. (Jezebel)

Lay’s cheesy garlic bread chips smell like vomit and taste like dirty feet. (Grouchy Muffin)

Kris Humphries would miss the playoffs for a chance to annoy Kim Kardashian. (TMZ)

Upper West Side store clerk falsely accuses Forest Whitaker of stealing. (Evil Beet)

Lil’ Wayne banned from Miami Heat arena because an affair with a player’s wife? (Deadspin)

I love you, Maya Rudolph, but you have too many kids. Please rest your uterus. (NY Daily News)

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

‘Fan’ Takes Chris Brown-Related Anger Out on Rihanna’s Knee

Rihanna bloody kneeOne second Rihanna‘s living Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” in the corner of an L.A. nightclub opposite Chris Brown, the next she’s in London dodging bottles.

Rihanna scraped up her knee on a metal grate after partying it up with socialite model/Rita Ora bestie Cara Delvingn at a place called The Box. Eyewitnesses say a fan of unspecified gender threw an energy drink at her and scolded her for dating Chris Brown.

In a surprising twist, Rihanna went on a date with the fan the next day, then went on Good Morning America to talk about how wrong it was to forgive him/her, stayed away for a few years, then said ‘f*ck the people who care about me haters’ and went back to the verbally abusive bottle-tosser.  Read more…

February 18, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Country Star Mindy McCready, 37, Commits Suicide (Nov. 30, 1975 – Feb. 17, 2013)

Mindy McCready livePlatinum-certified “Guys Do It All the Time” singer Mindy McCready shot and killed herself on the porch of her home in Heber Springs, Arkansas at around 3:30 pm Sunday afternoon.

McCready had an arrest record stretching from 2004 to 2008 and struggled to meet the guidelines of her probation due to alcohol and prescription drug addictions.

In 2010 she appeared in season three of VH1’s Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew.  

The mother of two was involved in relationships with high-profile MLB pitcher Roger Clemens, actor Dean Cain, musician Billy McKnight (who was arrested for viciously attacking her eight years ago), and producer David Wilson.  Read more…

February 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Blue Ivy Has a Face (With a Mouth and Eyes!)

Blue Ivy Carter faceJay-Z and Beyonce may soon be able to retire and live off a steady income generated by road dog, friend and daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. Before birth, the announcement of Ivy’s existence almost broke Google and Twitter and made the 2011 VMAs the most watched in MTV’s history…

After birth, BIC’s heartbeat and screams on “Glory” helped her become the youngest person credited on a Billboard-charting song (watch the throne, Quvenzhané Wallis). Now her face, which we already saw last February, is causing a succinct, universal “awwww.”

Crashing servers left and right is Ivy’s unimpressed upside-down smile, taken from the HBO documentary, Life is But a Dream. Looks familiar, huh?

February 17, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Hugh Jackman’s Wife Takes Issue With You Thinking He’s Gayer Than a Box of Rainbows

Hugh Jackman gayHugh Jackman has the chest hairs and bulging veins of a young Susan Boyle, the voice of a harp-playing angel, and charm worthy of The Rat Pack – but that does not mean he’s gay.

Like Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Matthew Broderick, Jackman has been at the center of many a homoerotic whisper ever since he sang songs like “Bi-coastal” in the Broadway production of The Boy From Oz.

A contrasting role as cigar-smoking man’s man Logan/Wolverine in X-Men and 17 years of marriage to Deborra-Lee Furness, who he met on a TV set 1994, has done nothing to convince the disbelievers.

“Just recently, it bugs her,” Jackman told The Hollywood Reporter, of Furness’ feelings on the matter. “She goes, ‘It’s big. It’s everywhere [on the Internet]! ”  Read more…

February 16, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Lena Dunham Discusses Sex OCD and Being Generational in Rolling Stone

Lena Dunham RS cropped

Last week, Lena Dunham told a well-behaved crowd at a Boston museum that the “I may be the voice of my generation,” line from Girls haunts her.

Also haunting her since the 2012 pilot of the show: criticism about the lack of diversity and of course, her body. Just last Sunday a corner of the internet exploded because of an episode (called “One Man’s Trash”) where Dunham, who dates .fun guitarist Jack Antonoff in real life, played naked ping-pong with a conventionally attractive older man played by Patrick Wilson. (Wilson’s wife jumped to Dunham’s defense on Twitter, listing her own flaws.)

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, comedian, writer, actress, and actual feminist Lena Dunham admits she doesn’t always feel “connected” to the twentysomething lifestyle.  Read more…

February 15, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Hilaria Thomas Screamed Bloody Murder Over Positive Pregnancy Test

Hilaria Thomas pregnantBig dreamin’ yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas confirmed the strength of high-end Baldwin sperm during an airing of Extra. It’s less the baby and more the sound she made when she found out that I’m interested in.

Alec explains that he heard his wife yowling in the bathroom and ran in to save her from an imminent death that actually turned out to be her reaction to double lines on the pregnancy test.

“There’s a scream I heard, which is a scream normally reserved for if there’s a spider in the house, not exaggerating,” Baldwin said. “So then I hear that scream again, but it was not a spider.”

Can you imagine a world where women become pregnant after spotting those little eight-eyed bastards?

Read more…

February 15, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Video: Rihanna – “Stay” Feat. Mikky Ekko

Bobby Darin’s “Splish Splash” began as a bet, on the premise that he could not write a song that began with “Splish Splash, I was takin’ a bath.” Coincidentally, all Rihanna songs and videos begin as bets.

“Hey Rihanna, I bet you can’t sell a billion copies of a song with groans and ‘ehs’ instead of words.” “Hey Rihanna, I bet you can’t make a video where you never leave a cloudy bathtub.” But she did.

Read more…

February 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

South African Olympian Oscar Pistorius Shoots and Kills Girlfriend Valentine’s Day Morning

Oscar Pistorius girlfriendParalympic champion Oscar Pistorius, also known as “Blade Runner” and the “Fastest man on no legs,” was arrested today for the murder of his model/law graduate girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Police arrived at Pistorius’ home in Pretoria, South Africa in the early hours of Valentine’s Day, recovering a 9 mm pistol from the scene believed to be the murder weapon.

Early reports suggested that the shooting was an accident and the possibly result of him confusing Steenkamp for an intruder while she was attempting to surprise him for Valentine’s.

Authorities say they had been called to his house multiple times for incidents of “a domestic nature,” and TMZ has learned that Pistorius was arrested in 2009 for assaulting a female companion.  Read more…

February 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-14-13]

Erik Karlsson 2013Erik Karlsson, skilled NHL defenseman just got his Achilles heel lacerated by a skate. (Deadspin)

Canuck Elisha Cuthbert beats out Americans for most beautiful woman on TV. (E! Online)

Kim and Kanye put through hell at JFK security by soon-to-be-fired airline employee. (TMZ)

Reynolds, Johnson, Gere, Stallone, Ford and Sinatra offered original Die Hard role. (Yahoo!)

Obama fist bumps with Republican senator Mark Kirk at the State of the Union. (Gawker)

Game of Thrones returns March 31. Tide yourself over with some Queen of Dragons porn. (ONTD)

DanRad gets cocky for Out Magazine + new Harry Potter book covers! (ohmyGAAH!/Just Jared)

February 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Respect Ke$ha’s Urine and She’ll Maybe, Possibly Not Bite You

Kesha gold toothKe$ha is known for being wonderfully dirty. Only slightly less wonderful is the fact that she talks about being dirty ALL THE TIME. From necklaces made of teeth, to beard fingering and touching ghosts in the dark, she’s a very imaginative lady.

On the MTV reality show My Crazy Beautiful Life, the result of her brother and his “weird friend” following her around with a camera, we get to see her drinking pee. Her own pee. That makes it better, right?

“I was told drinking my own pee was good, I was trying to be healthy,” Ke$ha told BBC Radio 1. “Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, ‘That is mine!’ So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross, so I don’t do it anymore.”

Read more…

February 14, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Beyonce For Vogue, March 2013

Beyonce Vogue 2013 Before her big night(s) at the Super Bowl and Grammys (to which she wore a similarly underwhelming black and white trouser and top combo), Beyonce did an interview with Vogue that generated a headline about Blue Ivy being her best and only friend in the world.

This is not entirely true. Vogue did in fact incorporate unique quotes from pals like Gemini’s Twin member Kelly Rowland, mother Tina Knowles, Alicia Keys (who said she has “more power than any woman”) and Gwyneth Paltrow (friends with everybody). GQ did the same thing in their extra strange interview with Bey, enlisting Solange for what felt like half the interview.

Maybe Beyonce just isn’t filling enough space on the page? Here are the parts she did fill in, with crayons, for Vogue’s March issue…  Read more…

February 13, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Royal Palace Sh*tting Crumpets Over Kate Middleton’s Baby Bump

kate middleton bikini baby bumpThe palace is going crazy over honeymoon photos of Kate Middleton published in Italy’s Chi (proudly fucking with the royals since 1997).

She is neither topless nor bottomless. Just in a bikini, pregnant with a pinto bean.

All of Britain’s tabloids passed on printing the very unshocking images of Kate and William vacationing in the West Indies out of “respect” (or fear that their heads would be severed quicker than you can say “She ain’t no human being”).

A St James’ Palace spokesperson issued a statement that the family is “disappointed” over the breach of privacy. As usual, their reaction is more sensationalized than any headline, photo, or story. God save the Duchess.

February 13, 2013 / Hallie Madenski

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-13-13]

RuPaul Peanut Butter RuPaul made a very educational video about the difference between jam and jelly. (ohmyGAHH!)

I guess I don’t have to ask if Helena Bonham Carter will be a better Liz Taylor. (Evil Beet)

Lady Gaga cancels tour dates because of STD-sounding “synovitis.” (Huffington Post)

Stern prank caller says Ronnie The Limo Driver shot Christopher Dorner. (TMZ)

James Franco is a total natural at deepthroating everything in sight. (Jezebel)

Try not to smoke 30 cigarettes or drink 10 litres of Coke a day. Got it. (Telegraph)

Hayley Hasselhoff headed down familiar whiskey-guzzling, hamburger-eating road. (E! Online)

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