I Spy A Chupacabra, In Maryland

Hospital employees at Prince George Hospital in Cheverly, Maryland, have been spotting an unidentified creature in the wooded area near their work since early June of 2011, but only recently have they been able to capture the animal on video. They’ve adopted it as their mascot, lovingly him/her Prince Chupa.

So what is a Chupacabra, you might ask? Well I’ve been poking around the internet and have found that it is basically the latino community’s version of bigfoot, an unknown creature that is inherently evil and drinks the blood of goats. Its mythology is varied. Some people describe it as an alien/dinosaur/vampire while others say it is a panther with a snake’s tongue. Biologists wave these theories off, simply calling the sighted Chupacabras “Coyotes with scabies.”

One employee at Prince George Hospital, Joe Livermore, describes the newfound creature as a “A kangaroo, dog, rat mixed,” adding, “It’s got a rat tail and a head like a deer. I don’t know what it is.”

It looks the most like a fox or a deer to me, but with a string for a tail. I’ll tell you one thing though, it’s really really adorable. And it looks smart, and shy. Please please please don’t take it away for “testing” and “experiments,” evil East Coast scientists. I protest.

Hmmm, I dunno whether I’d feed it a carrot or a can of wet cat food.

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