Tila Tequila Has An Old British Man Living Inside Her

I forgot to report on this when it happened, and I don’t think many people know but Tila Tequila not only has multiple personalities but she explained on July 27th, to Howard Stern, that one of them is an older British gentleman named “Owen!”

So besides there being a lot of other suspicious things “inside” her, there’s a multitude of people living in this little 4’11” bundle of manic Asian energy.

“Miss Tila” as she constantly referred to herself, came onto the show to promote her classy new song “You Can Dance” (I’m serious this song is funny, I love it!)

Stern asked her about a video that had surfaced of her cutting her wrists (which I can’t find) and she blamed it on another personality, named Jane.

“Look at my arm! It was Jane, my other personality.”  

And then added, “I wish she would leave me alone. I tried to prevent her from killing someone else…unfortunately, she’s in my body.

To summarize, Jane is just a Gangland-biopic-worthy version of Tila. Owen is an old British “sugar daddy,” and “Little Tila” is her childlike self, much like the “chicken” character on United States of Tara.

On Owen: “He’s this old British man.”

I’m not even going to say she’s lying about any of this. On air she briefly changed over into Little Tila and Jane, even Owen for a millisecond. It almost all seems too crazy to not be true. The Little Tila character gave me the serious creeps though, I’ll tell you that.

She also told Howard and Stern Show listeners nationwide,

“I’ve taken some quite big, massive burritos,” (dicks) and that her nipples ‘have nerves that connect straight to her vagina.’

I think what she’s getting at with all of this is that –

1. She’ll stab you while she’s fucking you
2. She’ll talk until your ears combust and you’re left with a hefty hospital bill
3. She’ll buy you flashy gifts and talk in a fake British accent
4. She’ll ovulate all over your car seat if you grab her boob whilst driving
5. After all that, she’ll revert to being a child and make you want to turn yourself in to the police.

[P.S: Did you know that Tila did a song with T-Pain called “Send Me An Email?”]

Crazy pictures of her from her day on Howard Stern…

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