Sports website SB Nation is claiming that Madonna will perform at the super bowl on February 5, 2012. This is good because, if there does happen to be some sort of apocalypse, Madonna surely would survive, being an ageless supernatural succubus who can easily survive on seeds and ashes.
The 53 year-old queen of pop would follow previous acts (since the Janet Jackson mishap in 2004) such as The Black Eyed Peas, The Who, Springsteen, Tom Petty, Prince, The Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney.
The super bowl this year will take place at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Portland Pterodactyl Vs. South Carolina Sabertooths. Oh wait, that doesn’t exist. Is there a better candidate than Madonna? Yes! Her name is Lady Gaga (or Rihanna)…
Well they do need female halftime performance, since we haven’t seen any women besides Fergie in forever, and they hid her boobs with heavy-duty construction equipment in fear of another “nipple gate” scandal. Not that anyone wants to see granny Madge or Ferg knockers.