Your Tattoo Doesn’t Make Me Go “Awwww,” David Beckham

I’ve always had mixed feelings about tattoos. Sometimes they’re great, and while  I support everyone’s right to express themselves via skin canvas, CERTAIN tattoos are just, bleck.

Snooki’s giant crown tat for instance. Oh, and I am constantly surprised by the amount of women (Megan Fox, Angelina, Gaga) with scrolling text tattoos that run down their arms or sides. (Too long and boring to bother reading)…

And there’s always Lindsay Lohan, Rihanna, Britney and Miley, who just pick the most random assortment of nothingness to stamp onto their famous bodies.

David Beckham’s latest tattoo, as Tweeted by fellatio and fashion fembot Victoria Beckham, is another questionable celebrity ink job. It’s simply the word “love” in italics, which takes up most of the top of his hoity-toity British hand.

I’m not a heartless monster who sees babies and starts projectile vomiting, or feels nothing at the sight of paternal fondness. I just think the word “love” is the most overused and generic thing I can think of besides a butterfly, fairy or star on a stripper’s ankle.

[I love my family just as much as you do, David Beckham, how dare you make me feel bad. I hope your soccer spheres disintegrate and wither like pre-Technicolor prunes]

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