Lindsay Celebrates Halloween Early, With Candy Corn Teeth

*EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM WARNING: WE INTERRUPT YOUR PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE: LINDSAY LOHAN IS NEVER GOING TO BE NORMAL*

I don’t care if she wins an Oscar or a Grammy or craps golden eggs, she’s never gonna get back on track.

Here’s proof, Lindsay was out at Supperclub on Wednesday in Los Angeles for the premiere of Saint’s Row: The Third (Like Grand Theft Auto but with even less morals) walking down the red carpet, showing off her fucked up teeth…

Photogs also reported that Miss Lohan had visibly blotchy hands and smeared fingernail polish. Also she kissed her mom not long ago AND I noticed some huge bruises on her legs in September during a photo shoot.

I feel that we are on the winning stretch with Britney Spears, who lost her mind in 2006 but some people are hopeless, such as Tara Reid, and this hick-toothed exploding trainwreck, Lindsay Lohan. JUST GIVE UP ON HER, LIKE SHE HAS ON HERSELF.

Her rep, Steve Honig, explained to People Magazine that Lindsay is beautiful and her teeth – which are chipped and the color of unflushed toilet water – are hardly an important matter.

“Lindsay is widely acknowledged as one of the most stunning actresses of her day, and we get requests every week wanting to do photo shoots with her from top photographers. She’s been on the cover of Vanity Fair and the top beauty and fashion magazines. She’s a beautiful and glamorous actress. With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I’m going to comment on Lindsay’s teeth.”

Okay so she was once pretty and not just a pile of freckled bones, it doesn’t take away from the fact, as seen in this picture, that her teeth need fixing. Maybe she’s too bankrupt? Spent all her money on soy milk and discount Rite-Aid hair dye.

[With all the “rampant homelessness” going on?” What about the fact that your client looks homeless even though she doesn’t have to. Homeless people everywhere are booing and throwing garbage]