Lindsay Forced To Do Morgue Work, Turns Into Court Corpse

After being kicked out of doing community service at a women’s shelter for being late and putting in little to no effort, Lindsay Lohan has been reassigned to work at the L.A. County Morgue. (Because corpses don’t talk back?)

You will all be delighted to know that Miss Lohan will be cleaning tables where autopsies have occurred, which is obviously much worse than ANY job we can imagine because she will be exposed to all sorts of sad non-alcoholic fluids, like congealed blood and (I hope) oozing fecal matter…

She is mandated to put in 120 hours at the morgue before her next court date on November 2nd, other duties will include “sweeping floors, cleaning toilets, washing windows and picking up trash,” according to TMZ.

LL however, is tired of being misrepresented and lied about in the media, on October 14th she posted this lovely message on her Twitter:

“I am not to be made an example of anymore. I am working hard and fulfilling my obligations every single day, to the court as well as myself. If I travel, its for work and its been approved. As is anything I do when I leave the state. I’d appreciate it if people will just let me do what is asked of me, so that I can get my life back. Please ignore the reports which have no truth to them. Thank you”

And more recently, on the 18th, she wrote, “I just want it to be known, that just because I was not followed & photographed during the times I’ve gone to community service, does NOT mean that I wasn’t following my obligations (by going) to the court.”

Yesterday she showed up to court looking like one of the dead bodies whose skin particles she will be scrubbing up for her community service, and fortunately the judge, Stephanie Sautner, sought to revoke her probation and sent her off in handcuffs. (She was able to post bail, of course)

Sautner hinted that Lindsay (who was wearing a crazy worn-out Marilyn Monroe style dress) was not sent to jail because of overcrowding and basic pointlessness, “if jail meant something in the state of California now, maybe I’d put her in jail,” she said.

P.S: Now your face matches your CANDY CORN TEETH, #ZombieCorpseMonroeHan

[Random fact: Lindsay finished only 21 hours of the 360 hours she was ordered to complete at the women’s shelter]

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