Ryan Gosling Admits To Total Femininity

In an interview with Ryan Gosling for The Independent, many fascinating topics were covered including his ballet skills, child/woman hood and new movie, The Ides Of March. Here are the two highlights:

“I think like a girl, I think. I was literally raised by my mother and my sister. And I just feel like I wouldn’t know how to think any other way. My sister was my best friend and my hero growing up. Because I was home-schooled I didn’t have a lot of friends and I did ballet, which was always just girls. All of that had an effect on my brain.” 

“I practice [ballet] whenever I can. A lot of the students are young girls so they’re there with their mums but they just kind of watch and tell me to keep it up. They try and be positive but I’m so bad. I don’t even know what I like about it but it’s like acting, I’m just compelled to do it.”

Class dismissed. Time to process this information, think about what you just learned. Oh hell I’ll just tell you…

Ryan Gosling starred in romantic films The Notebook and Crazy, Stupid, Love and also intellectually manly films like Drive and Fracture BUT he thinks like a lady, talks like The Situation, does ballet, yet has a penis. This is why you are magnetically drawn to him like a midget to alcohol.

He is sensitive, sweet, charming and handsome yet also doofy and non-threatening. He could play My Little Ponies with your daughter and also throw you against the refrigerator like a full-grown lion.

I do however, have a problem with his accent. He’s Canadian but sounds like a campy Beantown cartoon, someone doing an impression of Leo or Ben from The Departed or The Town.

[Stuff a pre-owned molotov cocktail towel in his pretty lady-lipped mouth and you’re good to go]

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