Kim Kardashian’s Epic Marriage Fail (Lasted 72 Days)

Kim Kardashian is officially getting divorced from that Hagrid-relative Kris Humphries after 72 days. So say Khoe had married Lamar and Kourtney had married Scott Disick at the exact same time that Kim married Kris H, who would you have put money on to last?

I bet you have no idea, because they all seem like the most unlikely relationships ever, yet somehow Khloe and Lamar have already been married for just over a year and Kourtney and Scott Sickdouche have been dating since 2007.

Kim, the most “famous” and “beautiful” of the sisters, seems cursed with some kind of anti-relationhip spell. I’m going to guess that I know the culprit. Kris Jenner! She’s the sorceress responsible for Kim’s unluck-in-love. Kim is her mealticket, she can’t allow her to settle down just yet.

She needs her for like, organ harvesting, and bikini photo shoots. I’ve always thought of Kim Kardashian as one of those girls who never had to develop a personality because everything else overdeveloped BUT I don’t blame the divorce on her at all.

Kris Humphries seemed like a legitimate moron from the moment I saw him on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. It’s not the type of stupidity you can blame on anything in particular besides an underdeveloped brain and a genuine lack of common sense and understanding about the world.

Kim said, in a statement to Access Hollywood, “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision, I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don’t work out as planned.”

Humphries is singing a different oblivious tune today,  “I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce, I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

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