House Of Bieber Wax With A Side Of Gomez

As if the very idea of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez doesn’t terrify cynical hipsters and metalheads universally, the pairing of the two is enough to make heads implode but wax figures that look like this? Well that could light the fuse to earth’s destruction.

Okay, I’m blowing this out of proportion. I just don’t like wax figures even when they’re not particularly realistic, like these. The two statues were unveiled at Madame Tussaud’s in New York in a Christmas-themed scene which will be on display until January 1, 2012.

Maybe this looks exactly like the Biebs, or at least, what I picture in my head…frozen, cross-eyed and mute. Selena on the other hand, naaa. She’s innocent. How dare they make her look like some 28 year-old reformed chola housewife with too much botox.

Plus, Selena Gomez is way skinnier than that. Is it my imagination or did they give her a tiny golden potbelly? OH MY GOD, Selena Gomez’s wax figure is pregnant! Where’s Mariah Yeater when you need her? Surely she could wrap the baby in plastic wrap and milk the hell out of the insurance companies.

Rest in peace, unborn wax baby.

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