Hopefully you all aren’t relying on me to report on every happening in the celebrity world, or else you are missing a lot. I just can’t be responsible for that, I mean, I’d like to not be entirely to blame for vacuuming away all your brain cells and mine as well. I know you heard that Beyonce had her baby, that’s why I didn’t write about it.
I also know that people are making a slight stink about the name “Blue Ivy Carter” but it’s really not that bad if you take others into consideration. The real problem is that it’s adding to a trend that has gotten more than just out of control. This isn’t just like those rose bushes outside Sleeping Beauty’s vacation home. You know, the ones that Maleficent lady forgot to trim, probably because of her skin condition.
This is worse than rampant prickly vines, this is at least 44 years of completely impractical baby names procured from the minds of narcissistic and/or eccentric people who are completely out of touch with reality. They’re so out of touch with it, they might as well be real-life Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus characters.
Why did I specifically say that it’s 44 years of impractical names? Because that’s when Moon-Unit Zappa was born, 44 years ago in 1967. I’m sure there have been celebrities with odd names from before that date, but I’m going to blame this entire trend on Frank Zappa even though I adore the guy.
Case and point, a list of all the weirdest, pathetic or hilarious names of famous children to date, as far as I know, none of them predate MUZ:
I’m going to say that “Buddy Bear,” “Pirate” and “Sailor” have got to be the worst.