Tom Cruise Loosened The Katie Holmes Leash

For those of you who think that Katie Holmes is living the life of a Hefner girlfriend minus the nudity and sex, you may be wrong. Not only did she star in Guillermo Del Toro’s R-rated horror spectacle, Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark, in August of last year but now she’s posing “topless” as they call it, for H. Stern jewelry.

I bet you didn’t know that Howard Stern and Howard K. Stern had a jewelry line together, but they just love getting together and stringing gems and beads plus talking about the tragedy that was Anna Nicole Smith.

But I lied, H.Stern is unrelated to anything, they’re just some international jeweler who Holmes has posed for twice in the past. I’m sorry that I know as much about diamonds as I about knitting or constructing bombs. These ads are running in Israel only at the moment but are set to hit America in autumn.

Her career has the momentum of a freshwater mollusk but I know she can do something besides developing arm muscles during shopping trips when Suri refuses to walk. (Her IMDB is disturbingly empty for 2012)

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