Madonna’s ‘Give Me All Your Luvin’ Video Rips Off Everything And Is Better Than Nothing

In some sick way it brings me great joy to tell you that the new Madonna video (and song) is suckish. From a marketing standpoint it’s still a bad idea, but must have seemed like a good one.

Certainly her “people” figured it would be brilliant to release it on time for The Super Bowl, especially since it features a bunch of brutes in red jerseys holding umbrellas over her head, which surely would have otherwise melted into the street like a discarded burrito.

Madonna’s “cheerleaders,” Nicki Minaj and M.I.A., have both had better videos in recent years, especially M.I.A. with “Bad Girls” which is far superior and came out only a few days earlier. Why M.I.A. has a higher budget for special effects is beyond me. Madge seems to have spent about $3,000 total.

Hell, even that new Lil’ Wayne’s “Mirrors” splatter and body paint video featuring Bruno Mars looks good in comparison. “Give Me All Your Luvin'” as a song, is just too “Hollaback Girl” meets “Hello” by Martin Solveig and Dragonette.

As a visual, it’s cheap and silly. The only good thing is when Madonna puts on that True Blue-era Monroe wig with her cohorts though the creepy lego cheerleader kiss kind of ruined that part too.  

Fans can make you famous, a contract can make you rich, the press can make you a superstar, but only luv can make you a player?”

Lines like this make me wish gun laws were more lax. I would say so I could either shoot myself or the person who wrote that line, but since the writers are Madonna, Martin Solveig (what a tune-recycler) Nicki Minaj and M.I.A., I don’t want to go there.

I generally like all their music. I’d just rather stand amidst a cloud of African Mosquitos than hear Madonna talk about her life and how people don’t feed her grapes and fan her with leaves enough.

[So, Gaga/Madonna fans, which is a bigger ripoff, this or “Born This Way?”]

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