Katy Perry Steals Used Underwear From Granny’s Boudoir

Katy Perry made a splash when she wandered the streets of Paris (for fashion week) in some foam green creation that is likely from a suspicious thrift store that sells used underwear, probably stolen from the homes of recently deceased grannies.

Questionably obtained sheer skirt and drawers aside, I’ve always wondered, is she a mermaid? Will her legs slowly dissipate and transform into a long scaly tail that flops back and forth like Jessica Simpson’s knockers, Netflix stock, and Obama’s opinion on gay rights?

Her colorful hair and general lack of comprehension make me wonder such things for hours on end.

She also wore a very pointy ring, but I attribute that to her going to a dinner that honored Karl Lagerfeld, and she must’ve needed it to stab him in case he started mumbling about enslaving her for one of his German experiments.

2 thoughts on “Katy Perry Steals Used Underwear From Granny’s Boudoir

  1. She just got divorced from Russell Brand. He said he didn’t want anything. She could keep everything in the divorce. Do you think maybe he stole a skirt or two from her? You never know…

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    1. I think you’re right, he took all her clothes except a few scraps. She took it upon herself to wear said shreds, most people would have bought a new wardrobe. So thrifty.

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