Australian Billionaire To Build Titanic II

Famous investor and owner of Mineralogy, Clive Palmer of Queensland, is planning on building a more modern version of the Titanic, called Titanic II. Oddly not a reference that straight-to-DVD sequel from 2010.

I have a sinking feeling about this one. And now so do you, concerning my Laffy Taffy jokes.

Besides it having “state-of-the-art 21st century technology and the latest navigation and safety systems” which Palmer mentioned in a statement, it will be constructed in China and not Ireland, like it’s cursed ancestor. It will, however, have the same dimensions and a course from England to New York sometime in 2016.

You know what else it needs? A Jack and Rose wax museum, ‘I survived a James Cameron movie” t-shirts, and a concert by those violinists in the movie. Also… SPLOSIONS

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