Serena Williams, Are You Really Rapping?

Tennis superstar and diva extraordinaire (think of all the negative connotations of the word “diva”) Serena Williams has a new rap song and one of the lyrics is, “They be like, Serena is you really rapping?”

I’m just too white and self-conscious to type “is” instead of “are” in a headline.

Now, TMZ, who uncovered the story seem to think this “ain’t half bad” (apparently they’re less white and worried than I) but I disagree.

I’ll admit her rapping skills at their core are surprisingly okay but the song in terms of music and lyrics, is bad.

And not Michael Jackson “Bad,” Color Me Badd. Here are some lines from the leaked snippet:

I ball hard, no tennis racquet
I can’t see these haters through my Gucci glasses
I make hits like batting practice
Schooling these rappers, they should pay tuition
I make a lot of money but that ain’t your business
On the court I serve ’em up, no subpoena
I cook the track up like a frozen pizza
I ain’t never been a loser
I win.

Is getting disqualified from the 2009 U.S. Open after threatening to shove a ball down the line judge’s throat really Charlie-Sheen-style winning?

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