We Get It Katy Perry, You’re WIDE AWAKE

Speaking of fairy tale fantasies… Katy Perry has a new video and even though I thought her gigantic glazed-over doll corneas were proof enough, she wants everyone to know she’s “Wide Awake.”

I guess this is her telling us that she wasn’t awake before (“Yeah, I was in the dark, I was falling hard”) and now she is. A reference to Russell Brand, again.

I wonder how many songs it will take for her to get over him? My calculations tell me we will endure at least another three Hot 100 Billboard Hits before she’s through. “Wide Awake” follows Perry through a labyrinth as she holds a lantern with purple hair (great dye job, for the 1300s). 

She eats a poisoned strawberry, ends up in a wheelchair and eventually wakes up and musters up the strength to punch Prince Charming in the cheek. 

Katy, you’re the best teacher ever. You’ve taught me that gravity hurts (Isaac Newton would be proud) and that capes aren’t just for little boys with wooden swords.

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