This year’s batch of naked ESPN Body Issue athletes are no different than previous years. They have weird names that are either laughable (Destinee Hooker?) or impossible to pronounce (oh, another “ova” tennis player?) and they’re naked but not naked enough to get anyone lacking imagination off.
You can’t just put a basketball over your Tinie Tempah or turn your legs to the side and call yourself a magician. I know that trick.
One more thing, when I hear the name Destinee Hooker I imagine Lafayette from True Blood snapping his fingers and telling her she beat the odds by becoming an Olympic athlete. Battleships ahoy! Hooker Destiny, averted. Barbado-accent-BOOM.
Here they are, 27 athletes including the ones pictured on the six covers above (Rob Gronkowski, Daniela Hantuchova, Jose Bautista, Ronda Rousey, Tyson Chandler, and Candace Parker).
Who is your favorite topless, bottomless (but never assless) sports figure? I choose Stacy Sykora, because she doesn’t have an eight pack, and I identify with that.
Mike Smith may be one of the winningest jockeys of all time, but here he looks like your creepy uncle who spent way too much time working out while he was in jail for beastility. #TeamSutherland
[Check out last year’s edition HERE]
