New Fiat Model Offers Third-Degree Burns With In-Car Espresso Maker

I have Timbaland’s “Kill Yourself” stuck in my head except I’ve replaced the lyrics with “Burn Yourself” after hearing that the new Fiat 500L has an Espresso machine inside of it.

And what’s more Italian than an Espresso? I guess they could add a device to make Pancetta or, when you don’t put on your seatbelt on a recording of a man whistling at you and unbuttoning his pants could play. Other than that, nothing comes to mind.

If you’re wondering how the one-of-a-kind “Coffee Experience” by Lavazza works, it clips onto your back seat cup holder and boils water with grounds like a stove-top device would. 

It is available overseas only, so put the phone down. I know you were about to call your lawyer, to sue for the burns and car crash you just can’t wait to have/be in.
Your body will have to not look like Spawn, for now. Just make a few more daily trips to McDonald’s and Starbucks and fiddle with your phone and CD player some more, you’ll get there.

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