Exactly What Can We Expect From Jerry Sandusky’s Tell-All Book?

Here’s what the book Jerry Sandusky is writing in prison is going to look like…

Cheap font on the front cover. Picture of Jerry looking just happy enough for us to know the timeline. After 1990, when we assume he first started ruining the future’s of young boys, and before his arrest in 2011.

The body will reveal little. Page one: “I like football.” Page two: “I did nothing wrong.” Page three: “I swear I did nothing wrong.” Page four: “In 1998, when I was first investigated for child abuse, I did nothing.” Page five: “I also did nothing wrong after 1998.” Pages 6-200: “There are a lot of misconceptions about me.”

All we can hope for is a title less horrifying than Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story.

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