Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-31-12]

When people dye their hair brown, it means they’re crazy. See Lady Gaga. (Celebuzz)

Bearded Portland men cross bridge with guns and camo in the name of breasts. (KATU)

Stupid people make beautiful babies. See Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. (Tale Tela)

Tori Spelling had a fourth child with Dean no-relation-to-Dylan McDermott. (People)

Actors/actresses: DON’T WORK WITH TERRENCE MALICK. He’ll cut you. (Yahoo!)

Sage Stallone died of a heart attack, not illegal substances or pills. (TMZ)

The Possession‘s Jeffrey Dean Morgan doesn’t want that haunted box anywhere near him. (io9)

Britney Spears berates and seduces X Factor contestants in new promo. (EW)

This is what Michelle Obama looks like in a nude, neoclassical painting. (Gawker)

Ryan Lochte‘s VERY ALLEGED penis pic is still unavailable. (Deadspin)

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