Forget That She’s A Zumba Madam, Alexis Wright Sucks At Dancing

Hold the phone. The madam who sold her Zumba class attendees’ bodies to men behind and in her studio is not very good at dancing. After several NSFW videos of Alexis Wright were posted on Gawker, one commenter wrote:

“Jesus this woman is a mess. She’s a really bad dancer. I definitely wouldn’t take Zumba from her. Also, hearing people dirty talk to themselves is so awkward. “Oh, fuck me in the ass.” Lady, I know you’re alone. Cut out the shenanigans and just masturbate. Lastly, you shouldn’t ever put food in your vagina, especially a popsicle. Its disgusting and you’ll get an infection. I can tell those moans aren’t from pleasure, they’re grimaces because she put a fucking frozen juice stick inside of herself.” 

First of all, congratulations on your quick wit. I definitely laughed at the frozen juice stick part, but forgive me for not being terribly surprised that this woman can’t dance.

She’s famous for running a modern whorehouse codenamed “Pura Vida Studio” in the quiet vacation town of Kennebunk, Maine. Not every aspiring Heidi Fleiss can find the exact cover business to match their skill set. Sex sells and rhythm can’t be taught.

The video of her dancing naked is admittedly hilarious and average but her porn site screen names (“Zumba Whore” and “Maine Zumba Queen”) make up for it. “Frozen Juice Stick Slut” was sadly missing.

This lady is an entrepreneur who commands respect, quit judging her dancing and distantly admire her courageous blatant disregard for the law in the name of barefooted Spanish aerobics and dollar signs.

Read: All of New England Is Rushing to Check This List of Alleged Zumba Johns

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