Britney Spears was Addicted to Meth, says Guy Who Regularly Drugged Her

Britney just can’t escape her past. Like fatty skin rising from chicken broth, new allegations from her 2008 melt down surfaces.

In new court reports, the X Factor judge’s former manager and ingrown pubic hair Sam Lufti claims he tried to rescue the pop star from drugs, saying she was addicted to crystal meth and took 30 prescription pills when she was put on an involuntary psychiatric hold.

These allegations hit the tabloids this week because Lufti is suing Britney Spears and her family for defamation and breach of contract.

Britney’s mom wrote a book Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, where she “lied” and said Lufti was drugging and isolating Britney. 

To the surprise of no one, Lufti crushed tablets and put it in her food to keep her sleepy and cray cray.

“She liked to use amphetamines. Most everything that went wrong was because of this drug,” said Lufti’s Lawyer and Captain Obvious, Joe Schleimer.

Say that name out loud, Schleimer. Sounds like college slang for pre-jizz stain. Shleimer.

According to prestigious investigative journalists at TMZ, Schleimer suggested Britney was concerned that a judge would test her hair for drugs — and when it turned up positive, she would lose custody of her kids. Does meth show up in your hair? What?

Jizz stain claims Lufti tried to get Britney to meet with a psychiatrist 2 days before she was 5150’d, but she refused.

Lufti also claims he was trying to help Britney by kindly telling her she was too fat to perform at the 2007 MTV Awards and she should ease up on the ice.

The court is unlikely to hear from Brit Brit because she’s still under a conservatorship, which means she’s not allowed to appear for trial or deposition for anything. Plus she probably doesn’t give a flying soul patch because she’s busy making bank on X Factor.

Vince Gilligan is writing this scene into Breaking Bad season 6 right now.

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