Mariah Carey Doesn’t Change Her Kids’ Diapers

SHOCKER – Mariah Carey has probably never changed either of her children’s diapers, but it’s don’t get it wrong, it’s not like it never gets done.

House slave Nick Cannon tells Anderson Cooper that he’s cool with it and just snaps on some industrial strength hand covers and goes to town.

I imagine Mariah being too much of a diva to do more than set her twins in front of a garden hose for a few minutes, so this is probably a good thing, plus, I’ve learned from those Charmin’ commercials that bears are especially prone to IBS.

“I mean we all do it but for some reason I get that duty a little bit more. I am not scared of it. I go in, I put the gloves on,” Cannon explained. 

I’m sure it’s some kind of parental right of passage, but during my many years as a professional teenage babysitter I had a clause in my contract that kept me from touching turds.

These days, it’s tortoise and cat logs only. Babies in my uterus will get legitimately aborted.