Guy Named ‘Scott Wiener’ Proposes Public Nudity Ban in San Francisco

I’m flabbergasted by the local non-fixation on flapping foreskin and lady bumps in San Francisco, and even more surprised that a law that would require nudists to cover their buttholes and genitals in public areas might not pass because certain folks think it’s sucking the character out of their beloved naked city.

We have a thing in my state called the Oregon Country Fair that I was dragged to in 8th grade. Needless to say, the hippies are abundant. Translation: the effects of age on the fully exposed human body were quite visible to my young, horrified eyes.

It’s just not something you can’t look at.

Thankfully, nudists have no shame and don’t give a crap if you stare. 

I’m sure they’d say that normalizing what’s “natural” is their goal, so of course they’d protest Scott Wiener’s (*snicker snicker*) proposed law.

First timers would only be fined $100, which really isn’t a lot for a population that makes most of their money trimming seasonal skunk weed, but a third offense could result in a year-long jail sentence.

The ban will not apply to other parades (like gay pride) and street fairs (Folsom Street). Regardless, angry clothing-optional men and women with signs and body paint are gathering outside city hall to show their non-support.

“I don’t think having some guys taking their clothes off and hanging out seven days a week at Castro and Market Street is really what San Francisco is about. I think it’s a caricature of what San Francisco is about,” Wiener said.

NO MORE SAGGY OLD MAN BALLS?? What will I do with my life??

Read: Nudity Ban In San Francisco Restaurants Passes Board Of Supervisors (GRAPHIC PHOTOS)

One thought on “Guy Named ‘Scott Wiener’ Proposes Public Nudity Ban in San Francisco

  1. Ban nudity ban people from seeing nude nature even banning people from seeing themselves. That is what banning nudity really means. Think about that. Calling the nude bad is calling yourself bad calling the clothing alone good.

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