Two and a half months ago, give or take a few days, Zeus tossed a lightning bolt to earth straight through Kanye West and into Kim Kardashian‘s uterus. Yeah, I learned about pregnancy by reading D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths, but that’s not the point.
Stay focused and say it with me: KIM KARDASHIAN IS PREGNANT. (Listen closely and you can hear the sound of infertile Khloe’s teeth grinding themselves into oblivion.)
The most famous, self-absorbed woman with no particular talent and the most self-absorbed rapper (together since April) are having a baby and I think the due date is sometime in mid August, or possibly July? It’s been established that I’m not good with this counting, brain-using stuff.
Fear not the current lack of details, I’m sure every moment of this will be documented on Keeping Up With The Kardashians and later episodes of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami (premiering January 20).
I’d like to suggest a non-Beyonce approved name for this blessed child. Combining Kanye’s recent flair for shocking fashion choices and Kim’s past Halloween costumes, I present you with…
Jasmine Leather Skirt Crystal Mask Poison Ivy Kardashian-West. Got something better?