Like Jessica Biel, it’s shiny, stiff and has a lot of knobs on it, which makes it just random enough to seem relevant even though it’s roughly 92 years old.
Question: If unfamous, untalented Justin Timerberlake was walking down the street, would you still glance his way?
If the answer is “yes,” I figure it’s because of those mesmerizing blue eyes, which are purposefully hidden on this cover. That’s just bad marketing. Play to the audience any less and it’s Joey Fatone.
Then there’s the tracklist, which is either brilliant or horrible (like the phoropter, I really can’t tell) in that ‘N Sync Celebrity sort of way. I know for sure that “Strawberry Bubblegum,” “Let The Groove In,” “Spaceship Coupe,” and “Blue Ocean Floor” were written and thrown out by Prince at some point.
Don’t even get me started on “Tunnel Vision.” There are just too many cervix jokes.