Respect Ke$ha’s Urine and She’ll Maybe, Possibly Not Bite You

Kesha gold toothKe$ha is known for being wonderfully dirty. Only slightly less wonderful is the fact that she talks about being dirty ALL THE TIME. From necklaces made of teeth, to beard fingering and touching ghosts in the dark, she’s a very imaginative lady.

On the MTV reality show My Crazy Beautiful Life, the result of her brother and his “weird friend” following her around with a camera, we get to see her drinking pee. Her own pee. That makes it better, right?

“I was told drinking my own pee was good, I was trying to be healthy,” Ke$ha told BBC Radio 1. “Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, ‘That is mine!’ So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross, so I don’t do it anymore.”

So now we know she’s a little territorial and protective of personal property. What else?

She brings a bathtub and a “glitter roadie” on tour with her.

The roadie’s job is to “lather baby oil” all over her body so she can properly roll in glitter.

Key quote: “When I go to the bathroom you can follow the trail of glitter and tell which stall I peed in. I leave it all over the men I make out with.”

Her friends are getting sick of her poor hygiene…

Ms. Sebert does not keep company with people who are thrilled with her Ke$ha-ness. Perhaps she needs to post an ad on Craigslist, looking for fellow fans of Trans Ams full of pre-lubed bacon grease vibrators?

Kesha dirtyKey quote: “Usually the people around me say, ‘You’re disgusting!’ or, ‘Put your pants on!’ or ‘You’re late!’ Or they say, ‘You smell weird, what’s that smell?'”

…Because she smells like a bag of ass

A bag of ass that doesn’t care one wit if you appreciate the penguin exhibit she keeps between her legs.

Key quote: “I smell like a hobo. One time, someone told me I smelt like a shrimp on a diaper. I thought I could make a fragrance that was little like a shrimp on a Faberge diaper, but I don’t know if people want to smell like that.”

2 thoughts on “Respect Ke$ha’s Urine and She’ll Maybe, Possibly Not Bite You

  1. Always with the drinking of the urine. It’s not kosher, I tell you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Because I did. But did you listen? No,you were busy being a schmuck. Oy vey!


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