Meet Britney Spears’ New Boyfriend, Non-Famous Guy #4 a.k.a. David Lucado

Britney Spears David Lucado mall Britney Spears has a new boyfriend/escort. He’s from Hotlanta and is currently working for a law firm in L.A., not as a lawyer, but as an errand boy. I’m guessing she met him online (Craigslist “free” section, under dirt/tools?) or because someone he works for is involved in her legal affairs.

By my count, he’s her fourth unfamous boyfriend after NOT-George-Constanza (but just as schlubby) high school friend Jason Alexander, amateur hamburger reviewer Kevin Federline, and uncle Jason Trawick.

Britney’s taste for famous guys (or their taste for her) was put to rest over a decade ago, when her true love broke her heart. (Unless we’re counting the four-night stand with Colin Farrell.) 

I will put on a transparent denim cowboy hat and haunt Jessica Biel’s next-of-kin until the end of time if I die without hearing the words “I, Britney Jean Spears, take you, Justin Randall Timberlake, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

3 thoughts on “Meet Britney Spears’ New Boyfriend, Non-Famous Guy #4 a.k.a. David Lucado

    1. She dates them to help her kidnap Justin Timberlake. Once they find out that she doesn’t really love them and just needs their brute strength to tie his dancing legs down, they leave her.

      Dave what’s-his-butt is no exception.


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