That spicy vampire who spends his few allotted hours off the Kardashian leash constructing toy helicopters and giving motivational speeches insists he isn’t becoming a woman despite rocking a ponytail and contemplating a Laryngeal Shave following his separation announcement from Kris Jenner.
When TMZ caught wind of a rumor that the elder lesbianic Jenner was considering getting his Adam’s Apple sawed off, Bruce confirmed the tale but specified that he is NOT undergoing getting gender reassignment. His exact words: “I just never liked my trachea.”
If he’s not becoming a woman I don’t want to be one anymore. Everyone show solidarity and support by mailing Bruce one high heel and one tube of Ruby Woo lipstick.