Emma Watson Cast as Belle in ‘Beauty and the Beast’

Feminist/actress/down-to-earth sex symbol Emma Watson has been cast as Belle in a live action version of Beauty and the Beast directed by Bill Condon of Breaking Dawn, uh, fame.

Can’t wait for Belle to be pregnant with Beast’s baby and have to sacrifice Mrs. Potts (voice of Meryl Streep, obviously) to it. Speaking of that, how on earth are they going to depict talking clocks and dishware? Will the feather duster still get it on with the candlestick?

Are they going to do my favorite Disney movie justice or is it just Fifty Shades of Grey with an animal twist. Like the highest budget donkey show ever… 

I will be really upset if Belle – the first Disney heroine who really didn’t conform to Disney’s previous excessively airheaded and dependent princess standards – ends up bent over a sink getting her tampon pulled out spanked by Charlie Hunnam.

What do you think?

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