AMC’s ‘Immortalized’ is the Stuff of Nightmares

Immortalized taxidermy
AMC has come a long way since the days of purely spaghetti western and Halloween movie programming. Alas, their recent foray into reality television is sending them in the other direction.

The leaps and bounds of original shows like Mad Men and The Walking Dead might make up for crap like Freakshow and Comic Book Men, but can they take enough steps forward to exonerate a new taxidermy competition show?

On Thursdays, AMC airs Immortalized, where a group of individuals are showcased for their ability to sew dead animals together in a unique and artistic way. Gross, right? Continue reading “AMC’s ‘Immortalized’ is the Stuff of Nightmares”

Awwww, Gentle Giant James Cromwell Arrested For Being a Crazy Cat Lady

James CromwellI’m not one of those people who thinks Martin Sheen is the president or that Angelina Jolie raids tombs in her spare time (though that could actually be true). I know the difference between reality and fiction, BUT I do have to say that I was starting to associate James Cromwell with evil after I saw him cut Chloe Sevigny’s legs off in American Horror Story: Asylum.

In wonderful news, the nice tall man from Babe (and well-meaning but insane conspiracy theorist in Six Feet Under) was handcuffed Thursday morning for protesting unnecessary cat research at University of Wisconsin.

While it makes me nervous that some guy from PETA was involved, I think it’s weirdly cute and amazing that Cromwell burst into a board meeting screaming “This is not science!”  Continue reading “Awwww, Gentle Giant James Cromwell Arrested For Being a Crazy Cat Lady”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-11-13]

Siglinda Scarpa72-year-old North Carolina woman has 300 cats, in non-gross conditions. (New York Times)

Everyone in America has the flu (or bubonic plague, or worse). (Gizmodo)

Justin Bieber‘s former bodyguard suing for assault and unpaid overtime. (The Superficial)

If you loved The Witcher, you’ll probably also love Cyberpunk 2077. (Kotaku)

DESTINY’S CHILD will be at the Super Bowl performing their new song “Nuclear!” (Rolling Stone)

Now the bad news… Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult broke up. (Evil Beet)

James Franco spoofed “Boyfriend” with Ashley Benson and it isn’t even funny. (ohmyGAHH!)

Tuna Are Endangered Because Mick Jagger’s Daughter Rode Them To Death

When I think of tuna I think of sandwiches or Courtney Stodden’s dirty bloomers, but since the image of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall‘s naked daughter Elizabeth straddling a dead fish is now seared into my brain, I might be changing my tune.

Judge not, skeptics! Elizabeth Jagger is riding a yellowfin tuna into the sunset for a good cause. The “Fishlove” campaign to be exact. An exhibit that focuses on bringing awareness to endangered marine life.  Continue reading “Tuna Are Endangered Because Mick Jagger’s Daughter Rode Them To Death”

Michael Vick Doesn’t Want You To Know That He Has A Dog

Eagles quarterback Michael Vick deleted a photo of his daughter doing her homework from Twitter after a radio host in Philly noticed that there was a box of dog treats on the table next to her.

Vick replaced the picture with a cropped version, sans Milk-Bones, but it’s too late. I can’t erase the image from my mind.

After serving just under two years and completing his probation for his involvement in a dogfighting ring in Virginia where he reportedly killed at least eight pit bulls, Vick is legally allowed to own a dog.

If you ask me, or most anybody else, the news of Michael Vick having a dog is much more disturbing than knowing that Chris Brown and Rihanna are dating (because she’s making a choice to do so).  Continue reading “Michael Vick Doesn’t Want You To Know That He Has A Dog”

The Best Of ‘Dog Shaming,’ On Tumblr

A Tumblr page dedicated to dogs standing next to handwritten confessions (everything from crayon addictions to eating the crotch out of jeans to stealing ice cream from children), is doing well this month.

So well that it spawned a Cat Shaming site, which is not nearly as funny.  Continue reading “The Best Of ‘Dog Shaming,’ On Tumblr”

Man Dressed As Bigfoot Killed By Traffic

A man crossing a Montana highway was killed Sunday while dressed as bigfoot. The victim, 44-year-old Randy Lee Tenley, wearing a full Ghillie suit.

Two teenagers in separate vehicles struck him during his attempt to be spotted and reported to local authorities and sasquatch enthusiasts.

The problem, besides the generally odd attention-seeking behavior of dressing as a mythical creature, was that Tenley was STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AT NIGHT IN FULL CAMOUFLAGE.

Not the worst way to go. I’d like to float down a waterfall in a barrel. It all just boils down to preference.

Everyone’s In Love With This Two-Faced Cat

One second it’s Mckayla Maroney, the next it’s NASA’s mohawk guy, now it’s the adorable feline Batman villain, Venus. The cat with the multi-colored facial markings and eyes is the latest internet sensation with thousands of likes on Reddit and Facebook.

I wonder if she’s fixed? I could really use a fourth cat, one with extraordinary markings. The floor just isn’t covered in cat litter to the extent I desire.  Continue reading “Everyone’s In Love With This Two-Faced Cat”

40 Celebrities Who Look Like Animals

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Have you ever seen a famous person and thought they looked really familiar?

Not familiar because they reminded you of a friend, family member or other celebrity, but because they shared uncanny similarities to the thing you saw digging through your trash the other day? Continue reading “40 Celebrities Who Look Like Animals”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-19-12]

Boaters have close encounter with massive humpback whale. (Grind TV)

David Beckham immortalized forever as underwear-wearing statue. (Huffington Post)

Billionth car crash has me wondering why Amanda Bynes’ license is not revoked. (L.A. Times)

Zelda history book “Hyrule Historia” comes to U.S. January 2013. (GenGame)

Twilight convention cancellation likely due to K-Stew cheating scandal. Fans cry rivers. (Examiner)

Chris Brown was the love of Rihanna’s life. (Entertainment Weekly)

Mother of Honey Boo Boo Child arrested back in 2008. Please look at her mugshot. (Daily Mail)

Jason Alexander has NOTHING going on. Unless you count this Nickelback video. (Evil Beet)

Missouri politician Todd Akin says women can’t get pregnant from rape. (Gawker)

Southerner Catches 948-Pound Tiger Shark

Holy prehistoric wiz-bangers Batman! It seems like giant animals are popping out of the woodwork on a continuous monthly basis.

Giant squids were confirmed as a species as late as 2006, and in 2012 we’ve already heard about a 20-foot crocodile, an ancient sturgeon, and a pregnant monster python.

Now, a 21-year-old Alabama native has fished a 14-foot tiger shark with a porpoise skeleton in its belly out of the sea. The catch fell short of his state’s record by a mere 40 pounds, but it’s still a terrifying vision…

Then again, so was the Tiger Shark caught by a kayaker in Maryland on August 15th. Keep in my mind that this is a relatively harmless/non-aggressive species (somehow I’m still hearing the Jaws theme on repeat).

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-14-12]

Michael Phelps in a speedo, this time it’s for Louis Vuitton. [SF Gate]

Residents of Bellingham do not want to share their Costco with Canadians. [Huffington Post]

Anderson Cooper and talk show host Andy Cohen are vacationing together. [Gawker]

Be jealous. Everyone in Colorado is skinny. [Yahoo!]

Chad Johnson’s wife beats Kim at short marriage game, divorces after 41 days. [NY Daily News]

Thank you Brad Paisley for knocking Scotty McCreery off the stage. [Us Weekly]

Christina Aguilera has purple(ish) hair. [Reality TV Magazine]

Pennsylvania woman poisons husband with Visine. [The Record Herald]

17-foot-snake discovered in the Everglades (good thing I already had no desire to visit). [L.A. Times]

Rest in peace Welcome Back, Kotter’s Ron Palillo [People]

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-13-12]

Snooki makes lipstick. (Celebrity VIP Lounge)

The Japanese power plant disaster caused “physiological and genetic damage” to butterflies (ABC)

Russell Brand wished he’d done more to help Amy Winehouse (Contact Music)

Lauryn Hill‘s mugshot. (ONTD!)

Two dead in Texas A&M shooting. (New York Times)

Shark Week will not get you laid, says Dr. Ruth. (i09)

Jean-Claude Van Damme had a Street Fighter-themed affair with Kylie Minogue in 1994. (Gawker)

Hilarious GIFs from the Spice Girls reunion. (Popdust)

25 Rock memoirs you should read right now. (Rolling Stone)

Blurry, non front-facing photos of Beyonce and Jay-Z’s baby. (Evil Beet)

Taylor Swift is NEVER EVER getting back with you, names new album “Red.” (MTV)

A bunch of ninnies are angry over the supermodels in the Olympics closing ceremony. (Yahoo!)

Spider Lives Inside Woman’s Ear For Nearly A Week

A Chinese woman visited the hospital to investigate the cause of itchiness in her ear only to have the doctor tell her that a spider had booked five days at the waxy Hilton suite otherwise known as her ear canal.

A Reddit user posted an x-ray of the nightmare from a news program in the Hunan province.

Many saw the picture and decided to share their own insect horror stories.

I generally have a strong stomach but this is a bit out of my comfort zone.

I was basically given arachnophobia by my own family after they repeatedly made me carry up piles of dry wood from below our house. Each piece held several wonderfully eight-eyed black and brown surprises, and they often fell onto my skin. Thanks, mom.  Continue reading “Spider Lives Inside Woman’s Ear For Nearly A Week”

Massive 1,000 Pound Sturgeon Caught In Canada

A very large and very old Sturgeon was caught and released in the Fraser River in British Columbia last week. It took an English angler who was visiting with his wife more than 90 minutes to reel the 1,1000 pound 12-foot 4-inch fish.

Dean Werk, a guide for Great River Fishing Adventures, said that over a span of 25 years he’d never seen a sturgeon that ancient or big (it is likely the largest fish ever caught with a fishing pole).

Continue reading “Massive 1,000 Pound Sturgeon Caught In Canada”

Artificial ‘Medusoid’ Jellyfish Zapped To Life

Professor Kevin Kit Parker and bioengineering researchers John Dabiri and Janna Nawroth have teamed up to create a jellyfish made of rat muscle cells. You heard right, the Medusoid jellyfish is marine science’s answer to Frankenstein.

It was “brought to life” with an electric shock and beats like a human heart, without needing batteries. This is a step that will benefit artificial hearts of the future. Dabiri says:

“Instead of heart valves made out of aluminum or plastic, they would be built out of your own biological material, your heart cells, your tissue, that makes it more biocompatable and potentially longer-lived.”

Continue reading “Artificial ‘Medusoid’ Jellyfish Zapped To Life”