Ellie Goulding And Taylor Swift Are Getting Drunk Together While Everyone Else Drinks Tea

Ellie Goulding Taylor Swift Selena Gomez HaimDancing Man fan Ellie Goulding (really loving “Outside” and “Heavy Crown” right now), Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez and members of the indie/rock group Haim had an epic all-celebrity girl tea party today, except someone wasn’t drinking tea.

Two someones, actually…

As you can see, Ellie and bestie/Taylor Swift, giggling in the corner and mowing down on some alcohol.

I wonder how Coke would feel about Taylor enjoying rum with their product?

Beat The Arizona Heat With This Enticing Churro Dog

Churro Dog ArizonaYou can buy a 1,117-calorie Churro Dog topped with whipped cream and chocolate sauce for $8.50, but it’s for baseball fans at Chase Stadium and Chase Stadium in Phoenix, AZ alone.

Unfortunately, the Churro Dog, which joins Taco Bell’s Cap’n Crunch Delight as one of 2015’s most anticipated disgustingly delicious snack foods, will only be available at Diamondbacks games.  Continue reading “Beat The Arizona Heat With This Enticing Churro Dog”

Chemical Used to Turn Soda Brown Causes Cancer

Harry Styles pepsiPeople who thought avoiding diet soda would help them steer clear of cancer are sorely mistaken. These days, due to the laziness and greed of manufacturers, you can count on the additives in pretty much all prepackaged, non-organic food and drink to put you at risk for cancer, including of course, the common chemical used to turn your favorite sodas brown.

Pepsi, Coke, Dr. Pepper and other brands have been strongly linked to the disease due to their use of 4-Methylimidazole.  Continue reading “Chemical Used to Turn Soda Brown Causes Cancer”

Super-Centenarian Attributes Old Age to Raw Eggs, Single Life

Emma morano CentenarianThe oldest woman in Europe and fifth oldest in the world, 115-year-old Italian-born Emma Morano tells the New York Times she believes she’s cruised through three centuries because of her diet, which has included three raw eggs a day since adolescence, and her decision never to remarry.

Morano has been living the single life since 1938, when she separated from her husband and forever decided she “didn’t want to be dominated by anyone.”

Amazingly, Italy’s famous super-centenarian refuses to ever go to the hospital. Continue reading “Super-Centenarian Attributes Old Age to Raw Eggs, Single Life”

Coke Turns to Demon Puke When You Boil it

You’ve probably heard the urban legend about mixing Pop Rocks and Coke, and that Pepsi is so acidic it can be used to remove rust and super-caked on grime on items that probably belong in the trash (since you’re considering dumping soda on them), but you’ve probably never wondered or seen what happens to Coca-Cola when you boil it for a few minutes.

YouTube user CrazyRussianHacker, known for videos of college-friendly “Life Hacks” like beer-stacking and Cheeto-eating techniques, showed us what a pot containing two 16 oz. bottles of Coke looks like after being on a stove top, and it’s pretty gross.  Continue reading “Coke Turns to Demon Puke When You Boil it”

This Starbucks Drink in a Flower Vase Costs $54

most expensive starbucks drinkThanks to Starbucks’ Gold Card program and the natural human urge to break inane records, a man in Dallas created a specialized $54 cup of coffee that was literally served in a vase.

The drink, labelled the “Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino,” beat the previous record for Most Expensive drink ordered at the franchise by about six dollars and 70 cents.

With 60 shots, around 2,000 calories, and extras like drizzles and protein powder, the sex-a-whatever Frappe has enough caffeine to hype up a pod of blue whales, and/or Honey Boo Boo’s entire family.

Continue reading “This Starbucks Drink in a Flower Vase Costs $54”

Man decides to deliver bread in his underwear

grimaldi's stolen bread truckIn New York City a man stole a bread truck that belonged to Grimaldi’s Home of Bread. Monday while the Grimaldi’s Home of Bread driver was making a delivery at a pizzeria, David Bastar hopped on and drove away. As if stealing the truck wasn’t enough, the man was also in his underwear.

I cannot help but laugh reading about this incident. I’m so thankful that this man did not act out in violence. Even though he was not violent, many people will still be scarred for life.

After the man stole the truck he then proceeded to make deliveries in his underwear. (I wonder if he made the customers sign for the bread?) He did not deliver to the bakery’s customers, but he was dropping off  baguettes, whole-wheat rolls and sourdough bread. “The bread was left somewhere. Where I don’t know,” he said. “He dropped a lot of bread. Grimaldi said about $ 5,000 in bread was taken.  Continue reading “Man decides to deliver bread in his underwear”

POLL: Canada’s Weed Vending Machine Vs. America’s

Weed vending machines

With North America’s governments finally beginning to capitalize on the millions and millions of dollars generated by the distribution of marijuana, we’re hearing about the very first vending machines designed to dispense sweet sticky herbs.

While there are reportedly others in Arizona and California, the most publicized machines reside in Avon, Colorado and Vancouver, B.C.

So who has the better machine? ‘Merica, or those maple-syrup guzzling ladies and gents to the North? It’s a matter of taste (literally).

Colorado’s machine specializes in pot-infused baked goods, and doesn’t require identification until approached, whereas the one in Canada is in a “fenced-off zone” that requires customers to “flash a card confirming that they have received a doctor’s prescription for the drug.”  Continue reading “POLL: Canada’s Weed Vending Machine Vs. America’s”

Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’

Starbucks 666A Baton Rouge woman who bought coffee at a Starbucks at the Mall of Louisiana received a large amount of both humorous and concerned comments after sharing a picture of her two drinks.

With a matching “666” and pentagram art drawn in caramel, the woman, Megan K. Pinion (so close to the ultra satanic “minion”) wrote that while she was “in no way judging” the beliefs of the barista, she judges his “lack of professionalism and respect for others” and was “appalled” by the imagery.

“I am a teacher in the public school system and if I were to present a child of atheist or pagan believers with a Christian art project I could be sued in a heartbeat,” she stated.  Continue reading “Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’”

Gwyneth Paltrow is Saying Silly Things About Her Divorce

Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin dinnerContrary to the headline, Gwyneth Paltrow really hasn’t said anything too “silly” about her divorce, but many do seem offended by her seemingly stuck-up refusal to actually call it a “divorce” in her original and follow-up statements.

In the first, she left a bad taste in the mouths [of people who probably already hated her] by using the term “conscious uncoupling” to describe her separation from longtime douchehub Chris Martin.

Recently, Paltrow published a recipe brutal guide to cutting off a chicken’s legs and head with a little “P.S.” message attached. “CM and I in deep gratitude for the support of so many,” she wrote.  Continue reading “Gwyneth Paltrow is Saying Silly Things About Her Divorce”

Video: How To Get Free McDonald’s

In the no-nonsense video titled “Free McDonald’s,” Perth, Australia natives and YouTube masters Children of Poseidon (Cactus Body Slam, anybody?) teach us how to steal fast food.

1. Fumble for your wallet at the first window.

2. Tell them you’ll pay at the second.

3. Take the food and drive off.

Shailene Woodley’s Naturopathic, Organic Lifestyle is Refreshing and Oddly Charming

Shailene Woodley Flaunt 2013
Shailene Woodley is one of my people. Like the daughter of one of my mom’s friends, foraging for roots and saving mouse bones and and analyzing owl poop. You know her, right?

She played Clooney’s troublemaking daughter in The Descendants and the goody two-shoes girlfriend in the realistic and touching no-nonsense indie drama The Spectacular Now. She’s also been cast as Mary Jane in the third Amazing Spider-Man movie.

I’m not saying she’s a serial killer with that bone and poop stuff, to be clear. I’m saying she’s a lovable, wonderfully eccentric hippie who cares about the earth and being spiritual without judging anyone and not leaving a carbon footprint and all that other stuff that seems so cheesy and kind of makes you want to puke because you know you’re inferior and couldn’t live without 2% beef and 98% possum organ Taco Bell meat.

Here’s a word about her not-very-American eating and living habits, from Flaunt:

I think everything about my lifestyle is fairly alternative,” says the star. “I gather my own spring water from mountains every month. I go to a farm to get my food. I make everything from my own toothpaste to my own body lotions and face oils.”

Woodley continued, “I make my own medicines; I don’t get those from doctors. I make my own cheese and forage wild foods and identify wild plants. It’s an entire lifestyle. It’s appealing to my soul.”

You go girl. Rubbing mercury on your face is no bueno. Put a stick in cancer’s spokes and let the sweet sweet dirty brown chicken eggs enter your basket.
Woodley Flaunt b&w
Nothing sexual going on here at all. I would say it’s one hippie to another but I eat way too much candy and light milk anti-antioxidant chocolate to identify as anything but a gluttonous technology-addicted slob.

Finally, Something That Can’t Fit Inside Vanessa Hudgens…

Vanessa Hudgens giant pizza A lot of things presumably fit inside of Vanessa Hudgens. The robots and monsters from Pacific Rim, cameramen, props from Spring Breakers, ice cream, Pet Sounds on vinyl, Nintendo GameCube, radiators, tape dispensers, Mickey Rourke’s plastic surgery… Human, foot, ping pong, basket, tennis and soccer balls…

Basically everything but Zac Efron and this giant pizza have been inside her. I mean look at that thing.

Surely whoever helped her make that mess in the background could eat it, but she just couldn’t without a stomach parasite and intermittent bathroom breaks. Right? Right.

Paula Deen Fires Agent, Seeks Extra Strength Slate-Cleaning Solution

Paula Deen Britney SpearsI’m not sure what you’ve been doing over the holiday. The internet says most of us are eating hot dogs (150 million to be exact) and burning ourselves beyond recognition with both fireworks and gasoline from the grill.

Mildly ignorant Paula Deen has been letting go of all the people associated with her past career as a successful enemy of the American Heart Association (mutual foe of the very real National Sausage and Hot Dog Council) in an attempt to resurrect her current non-existent one as a grammatically challenged member of the Hooded Order.

This includes the firing of her longtime agent, Barry Weiner. (Any excuse to talk about weiners.)  Continue reading “Paula Deen Fires Agent, Seeks Extra Strength Slate-Cleaning Solution”

Jennifer Aniston is a Brita Filter, Really

Jennifer aniston salad tosserYou may find yourself wondering what’s going on with the cast of Friends these days, well, Courtney Cox is looking like Cher’s grandma who bought plastic surgery in the back of a joint tortilla and pizza cart in Mexico City…

Matthew Perry is filling the void of another cancelled show by talking about why Chandler Bing’s eye bags were deeper than Crater Lake. Lisa Kudrow is being awesome, swimming in yogurt money and preparing for a third season of Web Therapy to air on Showtime (Matt LeBlanc’s doing the same with Episodes).

But what’s the most famous alumn up to? LET ME TELL YOU. Jennifer Aniston just gave an interview with New York Magazine where she called her body a “purified system” that rejects bad food.

Aniston explained that her organic body reacted to a Big Mac as if it were gasoline. “I think what you put in your body, as well as stress, is reflected in the quality of your skin,” she said.  Continue reading “Jennifer Aniston is a Brita Filter, Really”

Paula Deen is Martin Luther Rosa King Parks Compared to Mel Gibson and Others

Paula Deen black friendPaula Deen is not only being fired from the Food Network, but also having her products “phased out” by Sears, Home Depot, QVC, Kmart and Walgreens for admitting that she has used the N-word in the past has me thinking about related celebrity scandals.

For instance, how bad is this when compared to comedians like Michael Richards using the N-word multiple times in a recorded stand-up show or Daniel Tosh making rape jokes at a heckler’s expense?

Then there’s Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington, perhaps the most similar to Paula Deen because the questionable word he was said to have uttered wasn’t caught on camera until he stupidly told a Golden Globes press room “No, I did not call T.R. [Knight, his Grey’s co-star] a f*ggot.”  Continue reading “Paula Deen is Martin Luther Rosa King Parks Compared to Mel Gibson and Others”

Take Your Butter Money and Run, Girl: Paula Deen Fired From Food Network

Paula Deen apology videoPaula Deen, Mistress of Carbs, maker of delicious, oozing vodka-soaked chicken with chocolate sauce and essence of Hostess Twinkies, has been terminated by the Food Network after she attempted to apologize (twice) for casually admitting that she uses the n-word.

Before telling the public they’d chosen not to renew her contract, the Food Network issued a statement assuring everyone that they do not tolerate bigotry no matter how delicious the bigot’s food is.

“Food Network does not tolerate any form of discrimination and is a strong proponent of diversity and inclusion. We will continue to monitor the situation,” they clarified.

Mrs. Deen and her people scrambled all day to set it right, booking an appearance on the Today Show that was eventually cancelled in favor of a second apology video (first HERE).

Clumps of mascara circled her eyes like helicopters behind Snoop Dogg’s house as her tears [and the tears of her fans] soaked into the ground and gave all the worms and moles severe chest pains and a sudden shooting pain in their arm.  CLICK to watch the video…