The New Ghostbusters Song Is Good And All, But It’s No ‘Ninja Rap’

fallout boy vanilla ice

The revamped Ghostbusters theme by Fallout Boy and Missy Elliott is being celebrated around the world for its originality and powerful, thought-provoking message about busting caps in ghost’s asses. It’s a contender for Best Original Song at next year’s Academy Awards and has already received praise from artists like Yo-Yo Ma and Randy Newman, who are both kicking themselves for rejecting the offer to compose “Ghostbusters (I’m Not Afraid).

“This generation’s ‘Amazing Grace,’ Newman told the New York Times.

Obviously I’m human and can’t resist singing “I’m not afraid” at my apartment’s swimming pool at the top of my lungs in a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man bikini, but I’m of the more purist opinion that no song written for a movie can ever compare to Vanilla Ice‘s “Ninja Rap (Go Ninja Go)” from the Scorsese classic, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.

There you have it. Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump and the Fallout Boyz are relevant and Missy Elliott doesn’t need a paycheck.

Continue reading “The New Ghostbusters Song Is Good And All, But It’s No ‘Ninja Rap’”

Faith No More’s Opening Band ‘Christeene’ Blows In The Best Way Possible

Christeene Faith no moreI had the good fortune of seeing ’90s alt-rock hitmakers Faith No More on the third date of their North American tour in Portland, OR last night and would like to take a second to describe what I saw.

Before arriving, my friend/ex Scott informed me that a really strange drag queen band called Christeene was opening up for them, but “really strange” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Handpicked by openly gay FNM keyboardist and Imperial Teen founder Roddy Bottum, Christeene was conceived at an queer open mic show in Austin, TX by Paul Soileau, the man behind the butt-baring fishnet stockings.  Continue reading “Faith No More’s Opening Band ‘Christeene’ Blows In The Best Way Possible”

Ellie Goulding And Taylor Swift Are Getting Drunk Together While Everyone Else Drinks Tea

Ellie Goulding Taylor Swift Selena Gomez HaimDancing Man fan Ellie Goulding (really loving “Outside” and “Heavy Crown” right now), Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez and members of the indie/rock group Haim had an epic all-celebrity girl tea party today, except someone wasn’t drinking tea.

Two someones, actually…

As you can see, Ellie and bestie/Taylor Swift, giggling in the corner and mowing down on some alcohol.

I wonder how Coke would feel about Taylor enjoying rum with their product?

Marilyn Manson is a Reclusive Cat Lady

Marilyn Manson loves catsIn a New York Times profile on Marilyn Manson’s “phoenix rising” music and acting career, we learn details so mundane they’re actually startling.

Firstly, Manson gave up the drink he mentioned in pretty much every interview prior to this one (absinthe) to get in better shape, and was inspired to do so by Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy. 

He’s also best friends with Johnny Depp, enjoys Sisqo’s “The Thong Song” and loves his cat Lily more than anything in this world.

Otherwise, Marilyn Manson is a bit of a homebody, preferring to watch TV and movies or paint. His dearest companion is his 11-year-old danderless cat, Lily White. “She is definitely the one true center of my universe,” he said, scrolling through photos of her on his phone. “It’s the closest thing, I guess, to having a child.”

Enjoy this picture of Michael C. Hall rescuing a cat from a roof and imagine fellow unexpected cat ladies Snooki, Manson and Russell Brand there lending a hand.

Video: MJ’s “Thriller” in 20 Different Styles

Anthony Vincent of the Ten Second Songs is back singing Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” in various spooky styles like Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Jack Skellington and The Spice Girls. He’s vocally versatile to the point of making me want to ritualistically murder him and eat his flesh in hopes of becoming just as disgustingly talented.

Just in time for Halloween, the holiday where you become a slut to get attention and I become one to get free candy.  Continue reading “Video: MJ’s “Thriller” in 20 Different Styles”

Gavin DeGraw’s New Video is the Most Lesbo-Centric NON-LESBIAN Video of All Time

Yesterday I was sitting around watching VH1  on mute, so all of a sudden I see Gavin DeGraw’s face and I’m about to change the channel when I notice that the video seems super gay and therefore mildly interesting.

There’s a lady doctor and a lady firefighter and some other random businesswoman being oddly sexual at the workplace like opening their mouths and tilting their heads back for no reason and while I’m waiting for them to bang I realize that they’re not lesbians, they’ve just seen Whip-It one too many times and want to knock each other out on a roller derby rink.
Basically, as I’d expected, the video is super cliche, just in a different way. It also doesn’t star Juliette Lewis OR Ellen Page and is therefore a complete waste of my time.

Video: Maroon 5 – “Animals”

This completely unoriginal video, released 3 days ago, is apparently controversial.

A spokesperson for RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) are calling the video – which features Adam Levine creeping on real-life wifey/10,000th-model-he’s-bedded Behati Prinsloo – “a dangerous depiction of a stalker’s fantasy.”
 
I, on the other hand, believe that the majority of people have enough sense to differentiate harmless, horror-themed imagery from instructions on how to stalk and kill women, but then again, they are watching Maroon 5 videos in their spare time…
Adam Levine kissing Behati animals gif Adam Levine kissing gif
I personally found the video of him making babies with Minka Kelly more upsetting.

(Not sure if bad kisser or intentionally slobbering to make video grosser…?)

From Dot Matrix to ‘Fashion Police’: Why Joan Rivers Was the Best of Her Kind

It’s been two days since Joan Rivers passed away at the age of 81 after complications during surgery. After a week of crossing our fingers hoping that Joan might pull through, daughter and noted business partner, Melissa Rivers, was faced with the decision of taking her off life support.

A multitude of celebrities have shared an outpouring of supportive messages and stories about Joan, like Giuliana Rancic, who called her “The funniest woman” ever, adding that “She could put a smile on your face, instantly, no matter how hard your day was.”

So true, what better way to escape reality than listen to Joan Rivers insult people? I’m not being facetious, insult comedy is the best comedy. Anyone who says otherwise is Bill Cosby. And, not only was she a comedian, but an actress (who could forget her as the voice of the cockblocking robot Dot Matrix in Spaceballs?), an author and a Late Night host.

Joan was the female, television-version of Howard Stern, versatile as f*ck and completely unafraid to speak her mind and ask real questions. (A quality that almost got her blackballed from Hollywood.) I saw the most of Joan on E!’s Fashion Police, as a sanctioned truth-teller and critic of all things offensive to the eyes.  Continue reading “From Dot Matrix to ‘Fashion Police’: Why Joan Rivers Was the Best of Her Kind”

Interview: Soulful Singer/Songwriter Jen Miller

This month, brilliant indie vocalist, ukulele master and all-around musical badass Jen Miller – representing Columbus, Ohio – tolerates my line of questioning for the second time around.

She covers the recording process, Kickstarter, her favorite bands, The Red Wedding, her quirky but beloved fans, how she’s grown as an artist and more. Read on, dinosaurs…

It’s been two years since you released your first EP on iTunes, what do you think the major difference between your new album, Overgrown, and Forget the Dirty Hearts is?

I think the major difference between the EP and the album is that I really got my hands dirty here. For the first EP, it was my first time in the studio. We did it all in one weekend and the songs didn’t really have a chance to ripen in the studio…we just recorded them as quickly and as well as we could in one 48 hour weekend.

This time around, I worked with a producer, Derek Snowden, who really helped me push my sound. Some days I would come in the studio and be like “Derek, I wrote a song last night! Let’s see what we can make of it!”, and that’s what we would do for the night. It would come in as vocals and a ukulele and get transposed to electric and banjo by the end of the night. That’s just how it goes. So the sound is definitely more developed and the songwriting more solid.

Kickstarter and YouTube seem to have been your friends over the years… What projects have you backed on Kickstarter? 

Kickstarter burnt an imaginary hole in my pocket for a second there. I actually found it thanks to Julia Nunes…I am a massive fan of hers and she and Israel Kamakawiwo’ole are the combined reason I started teaching myself uke. She crowdfunded her first 2 albums which I (of course) backed obsessively.

Who are you into of these days musically? Anyone you fangirl over who readers might not have heard of?

I AM FANGIRL CENTRAL. A little less crazy than the One Direction fans though. I riot less.

Huge fan of Ohio natives Twenty One Pilots…Allen Stone, Kate Nash (swoon), Ed Sheeran’s new album, Nina Nesbitt, Passenger and Stu Larsen.  Continue reading “Interview: Soulful Singer/Songwriter Jen Miller”

Video: Jenny Lewis – “Just One of the Guys”

Indie Folk songstress Jenny Lewis is promoting her first album in forever with a music video featuring two hated big name actress and one lesser known, less hated one.

Brie Larson wins the cutest-girl-in-bad-wankster-drag award while Kristen Stewart AND Anne Hathaway both miraculously manage to look exactly like Tina Fey in an SNL skit.
Jenny Lewis, Brie Larson, Kristen  Stewart Just One of the Guys Gif   Kristen Stewart just one of the guys gif
Lewis’ third solo album, The Voyager, drops July 29. She’s also opening for Beck on a handful of North American tour dates. (To me, she’ll always be Rita from Foxfire.)

Chris Martin has Big Beefy Arms to Impress Girls Not Named Gwyneth

Chris Martin buffThe only thing I ever liked about Coldplay satanist Chris Martin was the rumor that he got revenge on his ex – super healthy Gwyneth Paltrow – by buying fast food for their kids. I suppose there is one other thing I like, and that’s when Coldplay is in between albums and not making the cheesiest, most sleep-inducing music of all time.

Sadly, his band is still promoting Ghost Stories and have invaded Sydney to film their “A Sky Full of Stars” video, and Chris is apparently either enjoying a protein-rich, non-French Fry diet or has discovered steroids.

With giant arms, tulips bursting out of his guitar and a drum strapped to his back, he’s forgotten that most women would rather back up into a glory hole or have a one night stand with Verne Troyer than be with a birthday party magician. And that Nick Cannon’s character in Drumline is the only member of a marching band to ever get laid.

 

Video: Blood Orange – “You’re Not Good Enough”

Blood Orange, moniker of Dev Hynes – friend of Solange and Theophilus London – has a new video full of a style of dancing that I can only think to call candid.

He’s like Michael Jackson on downers, and even fresher than Hugh Jackman, T.I. and LL Cool J’s surprisingly fresh rendition of “The Music Man” at the Tonys.  Continue reading “Video: Blood Orange – “You’re Not Good Enough””

Marilyn Manson to Star in ‘Sons of Anarchy’

Marilyn Manson no makeupMarilyn Manson joins the long line of musicians to star in FX’s Sons of Anarchy including Henry Rollins, Dave Navarro and umm, Ashley Tisdale, if she counts?

Like Rollins as rapist and n-word killer AJ Weston, Manson will play a jailed white supremacist.

His character, Ron Tully, reportedly has “considerable power” even though he’s behind bars.

Sons has been such a big part of my life, as well as my father’s,” Manson tells Variety. “I was determined to make him proud by being involved in what will probably be remembered as the most amazing piece of television cinema. After all, the very heart of SOA is about that relationship. So, now all I need is a motorcycle.”

Continue reading “Marilyn Manson to Star in ‘Sons of Anarchy’”

Band Profile: Rising Appalachia and the Human Experience


Recently, a good friend sent me YouTube link to a song by Rising Appalachia and the Human Experience. Based on the fact that my friend likes to drop acid at Rainbow Gatherings (not that there’s anything wrong with that), I expected it to be whale and bird calls set to harps with the occasionally tink of a healing crystal bumping into a wind chime.

What I heard instead was truly brilliant. Folk music with a peppering of electronica? It has been done before, but on a fairly underground level. Bands like Thievery Corporation and Bonobo, friends of Human Experience-founder David Block’s, combine many music styles from all over the world with electronica in the forefront, while similar artists such as Gotan ProjectRodrigo y Gabriela and Pink Martini focus on the string-based folk elements.

“We don’t play music, music plays us” – David Block

Like those bands, Rising Appalachia and The Human Experience – a collaboration between Block (The Human Experience) and sisters Leah and Chloe Smith (Rising Appalachia) – are the definition of eclectic. With calmingly sensual tracks like “Swoon,” “Downtown” and “Mississippi” that transport you straight to the haunted bayous and foggy hills of the Deep South, I can’t help but feel like they’re on the verge of creating an entirely new genre with the potential to be massively popular in the way that dubstep is.  Continue reading “Band Profile: Rising Appalachia and the Human Experience”

Justin Timberlake Dances With Michael Jackson

There’s a new Michael Jackson video (yes, “new”) for reasons unknown besides that people just aren’t done beating his sequined corpse like a piñata until dollar bills fall out…

“Love Never Felt So Good” for Justin Timberlake, who snaps his fingers while younger folks dance up a storm in front of old footage of Michael.
 
The next song from Jackson’s posthumous album Xscape will feature Tupac and John Denver.

What’s the most interesting about Justin Timberlake these days anyway? That he shares a barber with Brad Pitt or that you could pour syrup in his brow crease without any falling out? 
Read: Michael Jackson Hologram Rocks Billboard Music Awards: Go Behind the Scenes

How Will Gwen Stefani Match up Against Other ‘Voice’ Judges?

I’ve been watching a lot of Gwen Stefani interviews today to see what exact kind of personality we’re looking at, and so far I’ve learned that she stays in touch with Madonna, once wanted a pet monkey and continues to describe her husband as “hot” years after their wedding.

Like former female The Voice coaches Shakira and Christina Aguilera, Stefani is a super proud blond giver of birth who calls motherhood “the best thing that’s ever happened” in her life.

She’s adorably Californian, knows she’s fabulous, and will likely vibe well with fellow blond beauty/sourpuss Adam Levine and new token-black-guy-judge Pharrell (who is half to blame for the spelling lesson in “Hollaback Girl”). Go ahead and put on an EVEN bigger hat, you’ll still never be Cee Lo.  Continue reading “How Will Gwen Stefani Match up Against Other ‘Voice’ Judges?”