Donald Trump Once Called A Pedophile A ‘Terrific Guy’

donald trump i am not a crookAn anonymous woman has come forward alleging Donald Trump and his longtime friend Jeffrey Epstein raped her in 1994 when she was only 13-years-old. Epstein was added to the National Sex Offender Registry in 2008 after soliciting a 14-year-old girl.

Here’s what possible fellow pedophile Trump had to say about Epstein, in 2002:

I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it, Jeffrey enjoys his social life.

See how he describes his buddy’s affinity for minors as charming?

The Jane Doe, who is now around 22-years-old, says Trump “initiated sexual contact” with her multiple times in a new lawsuit she’s filed with the help of an alleged former employee of Epstein’s who claims she witnessed the encounters.

From the Huffington Post:

On the fourth incident, she says Mr. Trump tied her to a bed and forcibly raped her, in a “savage sexual attack,” while she pleaded with him to stop. She says Mr. Trump violently struck her in the face. She says that afterward, if she ever revealed what he had done, Mr. Trump threatened that she and her family would be “physically harmed if not killed.” She says she has been in fear of him ever since.

Epstein has also been linked to Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey, Chris TuckerStephen Hawking and Prince Andrew, who all flew on his private jet (the “Lolita Express”) and/or visited his private island in the Caribbean, sometimes referred to as “Sex Slave Island” or “Orgy Island,” based on reports that Epstein and some of his high-profile cohorts engaged in group sex with girls as young as 12.

Continue reading “Donald Trump Once Called A Pedophile A ‘Terrific Guy’”

Double D*ck Dude Hopes to Bring ‘Something Positive to the Table’ With New Memoir

man with two penises bookThe man with two penises, aka Double D*ck Dude – who you may remember from his highly informative Reddit AMA – has written a book about what it’s like to live with Diphallia. While talking to Rolling Stone, he said he hopes to do more than just make money with Double Header: My Life With Two Penises.

He says his condition since becoming an internet phenomenon has allowed him to help people who feel different in general. “With so much negativity in the world, the ability to bring something positive to the table is a great feeling,” he says.  Continue reading “Double D*ck Dude Hopes to Bring ‘Something Positive to the Table’ With New Memoir”

This Week on ‘American Horror Story,’ Elsa Window Shops for Freaks

Elsa Pepper freak showWednesday’s Orphans episode of American Horror Story was kind of a filler, but gave us the back story of both Ma Petite (the world’s smallest woman) and Pepper. Turns out, Elsa Mars (the superlative Jessica Lange) found Pepper at an orphanage not long after fleeing to America from Germany during Hitler’s reign. She is literally WINDOW SHOPPING FOR HUMAN BEINGS. Brilliant.

Shortly after that, Mars convinces a wealthy Indian slave owner to make a trade for his tiny girl lap-dog. While Pepper was free, Elsa gets Ma Petite for the steep price of 3 CASES OF DR. PEPPER. But honestly, how many of us wouldn’t trade our families for an ice-cold soda?
Dr. pepper freak show
Back to Pepper, non-Dr., Freak Show finally showed us exactly how Asylum relates to the current season, though I really did prefer Lily Rabe as an earth Goddess in flowing white having multiple orgasms to Fleetwood Mac.  Continue reading “This Week on ‘American Horror Story,’ Elsa Window Shops for Freaks”

Arizona Player Pukes on Ball Before Snap

Arizona Oregon puking Remember the name Carter Wood, because that’s who’s tossing the football to his quarterback right after blowing Gatorade chunks all over it in the most memorable gif of this year’s Pac-12.

Wood’s stomach was apparently almost as decimated as his team, the Arizona Wildcats, who lost (51-13) to the Oregon Ducks on Friday.

Is that you, Jake Gyllenhaal?

Jake Southpaw transformationJake Gyllenhaal has played a soldier, the moochy brother of a soldier, a detective, a creep, a time-traveling teen in a bunny suit and Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, and now he’s a hulked-out left-handed boxer in Southpaw.

Southpaw, directed by Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) and written by Kurt Sutter (Sons of Anarchy) is the not-at-all-based-on-a-true-story of struggling fighter Billy Hope. It was originally supposed to star Eminem.

The Next Time Your Parents Disapprove of Your Piercings, Show Them This…

huge cheek gauges Are you a young person whose parents are on the fence about you getting some measly bellybutton or industrial piercing? I think I may have a solution. Show them a picture of this German guy with 36mm cheek gauges

There’s a chance they’ll think whatever you want is just a gateway piercing to having your teeth show through the side of your face like post-burn Harvey Dent, but it’s worth a shot.

23-year-old Joel Miggler can stick his tongue out the holes and blow mass amounts of smoke out of them, looking very much like a human gas mask. I’m also pretty sure that at least 20% of the food he puts in his mouth falls right back out.

 

Uh, My Cat Looks Like Slender Man

cat looks like slenderman So I was playing video games the other day, not paying much attention to my surroundings and I glance to my left randomly and see this freakish pale-faced figure peering at me through the blinds. It’s a good thing I was already wearing an adult diaper because I was terrified and thought Slender Man was visiting my room to punish me for wondering how anyone could believe in or fear a malnourished half-human, half-octopus man in a suit.

Not at all making light of the children who recently stabbed their friends and family in the name of this urban legend, but is the resemblance to Slender Man and my cat not uncanny?

She’ll totally lure you onto the sofa, hypnotize you into petting her and then pierce random parts of your body with razor-sharp teeth at unexpected moments.  Continue reading “Uh, My Cat Looks Like Slender Man”

Sarah Paulson is a Two-Headed Woman on ‘Freak Show’

Sarah Paulson freak showSarah Paulson has played a kindhearted lesbian and a kindhearted witch on American Horror Story Asylum and Coven, and for the latest season she will play conjoined twins Dot and Bette.

“Two heads are better than one,” Paulson wrote on Twitter.

Knowing Ryan Murphy, Freak Show will at some point have Dot and Bette involved in some kind of awkward sex scene with an elephant trainer that ends with two times the neck cramps and pinkeye.

Lady Gaga is the Fro’d Out Lovechild of Tim Curry and Marisa Tomei

Lady Gaga afroThis is a Lady Gaga update for all the people who do not need or want one and were hoping she’d evaporated into the cold dark sperm-soaked ether she came from… SO much is new with Lady Gaga. Like, uh, her CD – the one with no tolerable songs besides “Applause” – is 7 months old and, she has a dog. And an afro!

There she is waving on the streets of New York like “Hi, I’m totally pleased to announce that I’ve been cast as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in an off-off Broadway production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

This look can be achieved after back-to-back viewings of Grease and My Cousin Vinny, plus one tube of Dollar Tree lipstick and zero point zero ounces of shame.  Continue reading “Lady Gaga is the Fro’d Out Lovechild of Tim Curry and Marisa Tomei”

Harvard Library Contains Book Made From Human Skin

Harvard dead skin bookLook closely at the accompanying image. Neat, it’s an old leather book. Well, look more closely because this motherf*cking book was once a person.

Harvard University has just confirmed that their massive library contains a volume bound in human skin. The 19th century French owner of the tome wrote a note explaining the choice…

“This book is bound in human skin parchment on which no ornament has been stamped to preserve its elegance. By looking carefully you easily distinguish the pores of the skin.”

It’s “meditation on the soul life and after death” and the skin came from the back of a female mental patient who suffered internal bleeding and died suddenly in the hospital. In other words you can (sort of) rest easy, because she wasn’t slaughtered for the sole purpose of book makin.’ In a way, her body was put to good use…  Continue reading “Harvard Library Contains Book Made From Human Skin”

Coke Turns to Demon Puke When You Boil it

You’ve probably heard the urban legend about mixing Pop Rocks and Coke, and that Pepsi is so acidic it can be used to remove rust and super-caked on grime on items that probably belong in the trash (since you’re considering dumping soda on them), but you’ve probably never wondered or seen what happens to Coca-Cola when you boil it for a few minutes.

YouTube user CrazyRussianHacker, known for videos of college-friendly “Life Hacks” like beer-stacking and Cheeto-eating techniques, showed us what a pot containing two 16 oz. bottles of Coke looks like after being on a stove top, and it’s pretty gross.  Continue reading “Coke Turns to Demon Puke When You Boil it”

Video: Die Antwoord – “Pitbull Terrier”

In honor of habitual weirdos Die Antwoord’s new album, Donker Mag with titles like “Raging Zef Boner,”  “Don’t Fuk Me,” “Sex,” “Girl I Want 2 Eat U,” and “Happy Go Sucky Fucky” – dropping today, here’s a Reddit list of  pre-Antwoord music by Ninja.

Also, a link to an interview explaining how Yolandi’s pet rats “raped” each other multiplied like crazy on the set of the “Evil Boy” video. And a Gaga drag queen being eaten by a lion.
 
“Pitbull Terrier” (no relation to J-Lo’s Pitbull) features more animal-centric freakiness involving blood spatter, people dressed as cats and dogs, and a real rat dressed as nothing.

Video: The Pretty Reckless – “Heaven Knows”

Interesting things are happening in pop music… Things that have nothing to do with Lady Gaga! Lily Allen wrote an entire song about it, but if you’re looking for the antithesis of Lorde, it’s Taylor Momsen.

She’s an entire year younger than Miley Cyrus, dirtier than Ke$ha and applies eyeliner with a paint roller. I feel the same way about her that some women do about sweaty James Franco selfies. It’s harder to admit that you sometimes find this person attractive than it is to masturbate to American Horror Story: Asylum.
   
This video for “Heaven Knows” is a few months old, but attention-grabbing. I mean, one second she’s harmonizing with a bunch of children and the next she’s ripping her clothes off…  Continue reading “Video: The Pretty Reckless – “Heaven Knows””

Crowned White Walker From Last Week’s ‘Game of Thrones’ Was Once a Stark Named Bran?

Night's King Game of Thrones walkerAn HBO GO employee accidentally spoiled that baby-stealing white walker as being a legendary figure in Game of Thrones lore in a summary of the “Oathkeeper” episode, and his story is quite interesting.

Known as the Night’s King in the books, the walker was once a Commander of the Night’s Watch, and according to Old Nan in a Storm of Swords, a former Stark who shared not only bloodlines with Bran, but also a name.

The Night’s King lost himself over a woman with ice-cold skin and bright blue eyes and was taken down by rulers of Westeros (including his own brother) after committing “horrific atrocities” that included sacrificing to the walkers.

While Old Nan probably made him a Stark with the same name to scare children embellish the story, this has fans wondering how the legend of the Night’s King ties in with Bran’s current storyline.  Continue reading “Crowned White Walker From Last Week’s ‘Game of Thrones’ Was Once a Stark Named Bran?”

Teenage Girl Poisons Grandma’s Collard Greens for Taking her Cell Phone Away

girl who poisoned grandmaIn the news recently, I was unsurprised to learn that a girl in North Carolina dumped poison meant to exterminate termites into her grandmother’s collard greens while she was at church.

It gets worse… This all happened because grandma, one Gaylon Moody of Fayetteville (a dead ringer for Sweet Brown), confiscated her cell phone for a week.

Via CBS:

The seventeen-year-old Fayetteville girl allegedly dumped insecticide and termite killer into a pot of collard greens her grandmother planned on eating for Easter dinner. The station reports Moody cooked the food before attending church for services, and ate the meal when she returned home.

Moody and her friend Clifton Evans both became ill after eating the collard greens, reports the station.

“About an hour and a half later, we started getting sick,” Moody told the station. “My fingers started feeling numb, (and it spread to) my chest, my face, my mouth.”

A friend of Moody’s rushed the two to the hospital, where they were treated and released.

Teens of today care more about technology, and what that technology represents, than family. Not having the thinnest, fastest phone is a social tragedy, and not having a phone at all is like, so much worse than a dead grandma.

Continue reading “Teenage Girl Poisons Grandma’s Collard Greens for Taking her Cell Phone Away”

Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring

cargo container train car The Walking Dead finale
As anyone with a TV, Facebook or even the most snail-paced internet connection knows – The Walking Dead season 4 finale was on last night.

Considering how uneventful and equally or less exciting than every other non-finale episode, I’m baffled by the amount of websites that called it “shocking,” “exciting” and “brutal.” (Spoilers ahead.)

Carl almost getting raped? – not shocking because we knew it would never happen. Rick being reunited with the gang? – not shocking because we knew it would happen. Rick taking advice from a dead man…? No.
Rick and Daryl season 4 finale still
The real shocker was that nobody died. Not Glenn (dead in the comic) or Maggie (what I expected) or even the new characters, and that the craziest events of the season didn’t occur when the gang ended up trapped in a train car together, but two episodes ago, when crazy-eyed Lizzie exclaimed “Don’t worry, she’ll come back. I didn’t hurt her brain,” after murdering her younger sister.  Continue reading “Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring”