Pokemon Go is Bringing Nerds Together Like Never Before

pokemon go brosLast night at around 11:00 p.m., a day after downloading Pokemon Go, my girlfriend and I had a sudden pressing inclination to go to the park and try and level up our trainers. We don’t live in the safest town of all time, so when we noticed several men walking behind us we became cautious but trekked on, crossing our fingers they weren’t up to no good. It took us a few minutes to realize that everyone there was up to the same non-mischief.

A girl walked past us as we got closer and reached a landmark, loudly exclaiming and pointing behind her, “There was an Eevee right back there.”

There we were, standing in the dark in a place we wouldn’t normally feel entirely safe, surrounded by harmless gamers with the same purpose, the small square lights of their phone screens encompassing us. I usually associate strangers on their phones with isolation, but this was different. We were all being socially antisocial. We were unified. Awkward, yet connected.

The same girl who called out the Eevee’s location shouted this time,”Bulbasaur! Bulbasaur over here!” Everyone in the park came running, and most of us thanked her.

For those who haven’t played, Pokemon Go uses augmented reality, a combination of CGI and real life. The app shows a cartoon map of where you are and once a Pokemon (collectible creatures that you trap and level-up) appears on the map, you click on it and see via your phone’s rear-facing camera where it is. Sometimes they’re inside, bouncing around on a table or mischievously blocking your view of the TV. Sometimes they’re next to a river bank or on top of a car, and other times they’re interrupting this blog post.

Pokemon go blog

While it’s always possibly to catch a few Magikarps from the comfort of home, the game rewards you for visiting real-life locations. You can’t make real progress without going outside. So, besides uniting gamers, it’s also making us walk.

Continue reading “Pokemon Go is Bringing Nerds Together Like Never Before”

Princess Peach And Storm Redesigns Will Blow Your Nerdy Mind

Princess Peach and Storm drawings The following illustrations of Princess Peach and X-Men’s Storm by female sci-fi artists Kirbi Fagan and  would bring Mario and Professor X to tears.

Click here for a side-by-side comparison of Peach from N64 and Fagan’s bazooka Peach and here for one of badass thigh-baring comic book Storm and even more badass “Weather Witch” / “Nature Goddess” Storm.

And also check out Fagan’s website. Anyone with a living room, a few bucks and a love of conversation pieces needs her Winnie The Pooh painting ASAP.

‘Destiny,’ From a Girl Gamer’s Perspective

When discussing Destiny, the internet has pretty much all the bases covered. Flaws, pros, tips, except I haven’t read much about the game from a female perspective.

As someone who’s played steadily from its release date to now and participated in everything it has to offer – from weekly raids to crucible to strikes to tedious exotic bounties – I’d like to share my experiences.

There’s not as much harassment. Bungie has treated this game completely differently than its beloved Halo series by making it very difficult to verbally communicate with the many other gamers you encounter while playing. It’s a very social game, yet “meeting” new people has been limited to messaging, party invites and maybe opting for in-game voice chat, which I haven’t done because I’m usually already in a fireteam with friends. (Plus I have a feeling no one’s talking in there anyway.)  Continue reading “‘Destiny,’ From a Girl Gamer’s Perspective”

Dismantling Someone Else’s Armor and Weapons in Destiny is the Sweetest, Nerdiest Revenge


Did you happen to recently catch your boyfriend or girlfriend in bed with the neighbor? Does your bf/gf yell at you for no reason or spend outlandish amounts of money at the Cheesecake Factory? If the person who has wronged is also addicted to the game Destiny, don’t waste time trying to dump sugar in their gas tank…

Getting legendary and exotic weapons and armor in Destiny is HUGE pain. It takes forever to get them, while dismantling them takes only seconds.

1. Once you’ve loaded their character, press the start button to access inventory, select items and hold the “X” button on Xbox or the square on PS3 or PS4 to dismantle them.

Or you could just erase their entire hard drive.

(System settings: storage: games and apps: DELETE.)

This is pretty much the worst thing you can do to your console-playing girl/boy/regular friend, like the nerd equivalent of burning a house to the ground.  Continue reading “Dismantling Someone Else’s Armor and Weapons in Destiny is the Sweetest, Nerdiest Revenge”

Lizard Squad Took Down Xbox Live AGAIN

lizard squad logoLizard Squad, a hacker group whose bio reads “Some lizards just want to watch the world burn,” have tapped into the Xbox Live servers for the second time this week, rendering it unavailable for several hours.

This directly affects me and therefore makes me angrier than She-Hulk with third world dysentery.

“Why are they doing this?” you may ask. Well, the “reasons” for hacking are eerily similar to the “reasons” people commit murder:

1. Just because they can. 2. It makes them feel powerful. 3. They like the attention.

Continue reading “Lizard Squad Took Down Xbox Live AGAIN”

The Pros and Cons of ‘Destiny’

wizard came from the moon shirtI’ve been playing Destiny basically nonstop since its release last month, and if you follow video games at all or have the misfortune of dating/best-friending a gamer, you’ve probably heard mixed things about it.

Quick rundown for noobs: Destiny is a space-themed shooter made by Bungie, the creators of Halo and Marathon and narrated by Tyrion Lannister. As you can imagine, with the notoriety of Bungie combined with Activision (the publisher of Call of Duty) and the unheard of $500 million budget, the expectations were higher than high.

Unfortunately, Destiny failed to deliver in a lot of really noticeable ways.   Continue reading “The Pros and Cons of ‘Destiny’”

How Link From ‘Legend of Zelda’ Got His Name

Link legend of zelda stillEver wonder why the character in one of the most beloved video game franchises of all time is called “Link”? Well, a video posted to YouTube channel Did You Know Gaming? has the answer.

While many fans speculated for years that it’s simply because he’s the “bridge between the player and the game,” that’s not entirely correct. Turns out, Link is named “Link” due to an element from the early conception of Zelda that creator Shigeru Miyamoto never ended up actually incorporating in the final product.  Continue reading “How Link From ‘Legend of Zelda’ Got His Name”

Jesse Pinkman is Inside Your Xbox One’s Head

aaron paul xbox memeAaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad) lives on in crappy car movies, random interviews and televised commercials for Xbox One. Commercials where he utilizes voice commands like “Xbox on,” that are causing consoles across America to power up without their owner’s consent.

“Hey Aaron Paul, please stop messing with my Xbox,” seemed to be the sentiment of most.

Such first world/white male problems. “OH NO, this expensive flat box with the sound and moving pictures is making this other expensive, less flat box beep every time I reach for the bowl of artisan sea salt popcorn resting on my sectional leather sofa…

…I’m totally going to go on a killing spree now and cite this as the ‘reason.'”  Continue reading “Jesse Pinkman is Inside Your Xbox One’s Head”

Video Games With Pooping Horses Exist Now

Metal gear solid phantom pain horseAs time goes on, we expect our games to more closely resemble our own lives. Like Playstation’s version of the virtual reality headset Oculus Rift, Project Morpheus, and the first game with horses that relieve themselves on the go.

The public got a glimpse of amazing sequels to Battlefield, Dragon Age, Tomb Raider, Halo and Uncharted at this year’s E3, but the most interesting to the habitually immature has to be Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.

The Phantom Pain features its protagonists riding through the Afghanistan desert, and the game’s so damn realistic that the horses take random dumps “in real time.”  Continue reading “Video Games With Pooping Horses Exist Now”

This Gamer’s Reaction to Losing at Resident Evil is PRICELESS

 After just finishing a boss battle with only 10 minutes remaining in the game and being watched by hundreds of viewers during a speed run of the original Resident Evil on the PS Vita, Twitch.TV user Carcinogen made a fatal mistake and prematurely game over-ed.

With no save file in sight, his reaction was absolutely perfect. Instead of throwing the Vita against the wall, yelling, crying or suddenly cutting off his camera in shame, he simply slumped straight down in his chair with a look of  embarrassment and surprise until he was completely out of frame.

To see the full chain of events with gameplay footage, head over to Imgur.

My Fondest Memory of H. R. Giger is a Little Game Called ‘Dark Seed’

Before I was a nerdy 28-year-old playing video games on Xbox, I was a nerdy 12-year-old playing computer games on a Macintosh that was the size of a dishwasher. My own personal version of Silent Hill was Dark Seed. To this day, after barely being able to hold my controller through Doom, Bioshock, Condemned, F.E.A.R, Dead Space and Resident Evil, Dark Seed remains the scariest game I’ve ever played.

You start as a man with a persistent headache who, after a lot of frustrating clicking and pointing, ends up traveling through a mirror into a parallel universe that is nothing but nightmares and evil alien beings. It ends with you peeing yourself.  Continue reading “My Fondest Memory of H. R. Giger is a Little Game Called ‘Dark Seed’”

Flappy Bird Will Be Gone By Tomorrow Night

Mobile game addicts better get ready to flex those index fingers and play the crap out of Flappy Bird, because the creator of the massively popular game says he’s “sorry,” but he’s taking it off the app store in 22 hours.

And that was at 11 a.m., so you have until tomorrow night (approximately 8:02 p.m.) to not leave the floor, bed, couch or chair you normally relax in with Meyer lemon curd remnants all over your slob face.

One Kotaku commenter wrote, “I read this as, “Oh shit, I’m REALLY getting attention for stealing artwork and I know how Nintendo is about their IP. I’m hopefully going to cash out before they come after me,” and I’m pretty sure he hit the nail on the head. While the creator said he wasn’t removing it for legal reasons, it probably was a preemptive strike.

Funny Video: Granny Sh*t Talks While Playing GTA V

In case you hadn’t heard, everyone and their grandma, apparently, are playing GTA V this month.

There’s parachuting, “Grand Theft Auto hell” for bad sports who blow up personal vehicles and a $500,000 stimulus package that no one needs because everyone’s making virtual millions using car-selling glitches.

Continue reading “Funny Video: Granny Sh*t Talks While Playing GTA V”

WATCH: Live-Action ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts’ Trailer

Activision continues the big-budget video game trailer craze with Ghosts, developer Infinity Ward’s anticipated return to the Call of Duty franchise since Modern Warfare 3, in 2011.

Titled “Epic Night Out” and set to the tune of Sinatra’s “I’m Gonna Live Till I Die,” the teaser features a brief appearance by Megan Fox, who comes between three soldiers stuck in crossfire at a Las Vegas casino.

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R.I.P. Nintendo Pioneer Hiroshi Yamauchi

The president of Nintendo passed away on Thursday of pneumonia at the age of 85, leaving my fellow nerds and I to mourn by the light of LED controllers.

Hiroshi Yamauchi, the grandson of Fusajiro Yamauchi, who started Nintendo as a playing card manufacturer, ran the company during its heyday in the mid ’80s all the way until 2002.

I’ll still never forget renting consoles (that was a thing when I was young, don’t laugh) and dying by mine cart jump fail in Donkey Kong with my brother, then getting a Game Boy for Christmas and searching for coins in bushes with Link and quitting Mega Man after two minutes in favor of Mario.

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The Best Cosplay At Comic-Con 2013

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Comic-Con 2013 is over, but that doesn’t mean we can’t savor the elaborate and bizarre costumes that graced the convention floor in San Diego over the weekend.

Enjoy Bryan Cranston in a Walter White mask, baby Ewok, the best Aquaman ever and many more!

Continue reading “The Best Cosplay At Comic-Con 2013”

San Diego Comic Con Post!

Comic Con is a wonderfully weird place.  It’s where nerds go to shine, to bask in all their comic book, superhero, video game glory.  It’s smelly, it’s filled with ridiculous costumes, and it’s packed wall to wall with hoards of people.  I attended for my first time this past weekend, and it was fucking awesome.

Also, it will hereby be referred to as “The Con.”

Held in downtown Whale’s Vagina San Diego, The Con started out as one of the original comic book conventions and overtime evolved to a world-renowned, massive pop culture event complete with celebrities, news cameras, after parties and (a nerd can only hope) a handjob from a girl in a Xena costume.

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