Ahh Crap, Celebrities

Demi Moore Is Filing For Divorce

That thing that you thought was going to happen five years ago, it happened today. Thursday afternoon Demi Moore broke the news to Associated Press that she was indeed ending her marriage to Ashton Kutcher, after six years.

The two began dating in 2003, and even poked fun at their own very noticeable 15-year age gap. In recent months the focus on their relationship had little to do with Demi cradle-robber jokes, and everything to do with Ashton’s infidelity with 22 year-old Sara Leal.

A photos of Leal and Ashton together surfaced, Leal described their dalliance in grimy detail, Demi Moore began losing weight from her already stickly figure THEN four days ago, a moving truck was spotted outside Ashton and Demi’s mansion in Santa Monica.

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Music, Pop, Videos

Video: Penguin Prison – “Don’t Fuck With My Money”

Penguin Prison (NY local Chris Glover) may seem like an unlikely candidate for an MTV hit song of winter, but I’m predicting it gets big. Known for his remixes, Glover and this optimistic yet lyrically censored Occupy Wall Street parade of a video are already making waves.

Anyone who says “fuck” and makes it onto pop radio gets props from this gingery white girl. (You too Cee Lo, though I’d like to “forget” THAT version of your song)

Movies, Videos

Oh I Get It, ‘Mirror, Mirror’ Is A Comedy

I’ve been wondering how the hell the studios could justify releasing TWO live action Snow White movies around the same time but now that I’ve seen the teaser trailer for Mirror, Mirror (they’re always a few steps behind Snow White And The Huntsman) I finally get it!

These movies are truly completely different. One is dark and serious and gritty and the other is… Campy, like Enchanted? Lately all the buzz has been about Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron’s apple-eating dwarf frenzy.

We’re finally seeing glimpses of Mirror, Mirror aka that other remake of the first cartoon Disney feature film ever, starring Julia Roberts, Nathan Lane, Armie Hammer and Lily Collins as that naive little puffy-sleeved Aryan. As you can see from the trailer below, it’s a comedy.

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Ahh Crap, Celebrities

Gary Busey Trampled A Woman In Tulsa

According to a recent lawsuit, Gary Busey got drunk and slammed into a 57 year-old woman named Carla Loeffler at Tulsa International Airport in Oklahoma.

The woman, Carla Loeffler, claims that Busey was in a hurry to board his plane and rammed into her shoulder, knocking her to the ground while she was waiting in line.

The lawsuit was filed in L.A. County Superior Court, and states that Busey was busy drinking at the bar, waited till the last minute, then attempted to cut in line in front of the “victim,” thus bumping into her and causing her to sustain injuries which she is now suing him for.

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TV, Video Games

X-Play Calls ‘Skyrim’ ‘The Best Game Of This Console Generation’

I’m not the type of person who believes everything I hear, and I don’t rely on reviews to tell me what to buy or ignore BUT I do trust a few sources in movies and gaming. Roger Ebert for film and G4’s X-Play/AOTS for video games.

On 11-10-11 Blair Herter and Adam Sessler came on Attack Of The Show’s Game Break segment and called the follow-up to the best game of the year 2006, “The best, most ambitious, most immersive game of this console generation.”

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Music, Pop, TV, Videos

Glee’s Meshes Adele’s ‘Rumour Has It’ & ‘Someone Like You’

I’ve been pisses off with Ryan Murphy’s Glee since it lost its bitchiness and minimized Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) into a minor side character who pops up every three episodes then vanishes just as quickly.

There have been a few brief reasons to still watch the show, though honestly it’s become like a CD with only two good songs on it. Tuesday’s “Mash Off,” (season three, episode six) was one of those times.  Continue reading “Glee’s Meshes Adele’s ‘Rumour Has It’ & ‘Someone Like You’” →

Indie, Music, Rock, Videos

Video: Egyptian – “Fade” Feat. Dan Reynolds & Aja Volkman

 Egyptian is one part Aja Volkman of Nico Vega and one part Dan Reynolds of the Vegas-based group Imagine Dragons. The two are a real life couple making music about the most universal subject you can think of: love.

This is more electronic, and much more melodic than what we’re used to from Vega and Volkman, yet it is welcomed. “Fade” is Radiohead’s “Creep” meets a Coldplay song that doesn’t make me want to puke.

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Celebrities, Humor

JWoww Is A Silicon Terrorist

The smartest female cast member on Jersey Shore has been targeted by airport security in North Dakota! That’s what she claims anyway. Jenni “JWoww” Farley was in Fargo for a club appearance (18+ Dance Night & Foam Party at The Hub) but was treated like some sort of terrorist at Hector International Airport.

Apparently, she was minding her own business, drinking coffee, hardly being able to stand due to overweight floatation devices and TSA (Transport Security Administration) pointed at her, then searched her excessively not long after.

She says, via Twitter, “Has anyone got “randomly selected” while walking on the plane and asked to “come with them” to be additionally searched? I wasn’t randomly selected cuz I saw the tsa there pointing at me while I was getting a coffee 15 min prior.”

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Music, Pop

Let’s Talk About Rihanna’s Leaky New Album

Rihanna’s new CD, Talk That Talk, was leaked yesterday in all its standard edition glory, and seems okay. I think I like it about as much as I liked Loud when I first heard it, which is not much at all. Sadly there’s absolutely nothing as catchy as “Only Girl (In The World) or “S&M.”

There’s two noticeably strange things about it, the intro track (at least I think it’s the intro, these songs may be out of order) “Birthday Cake”  is a minute and 18 seconds long yet manages to stick in my head for the lines,

“It’s not even my birthday/But he want to lick the icing off/I know you want it in the worst way/Can’t wait to blow my candles out/He want that cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake.” 

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News, Sports, TV

Jerry Sandusky Claims Innocence

On Monday during MSNBC’s Rock Center with Brian Williams, acclaimed sports reporter Bob Costas made a call to Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State assistant coach who was arrested on November 5, 2011 for sexually assaulting eight young boys over a span of 15 years.

Sandusky, who hosted various summer football camps for kids after retirement and is now charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse, was asked bluntly but professionally by Costas if indeed he is a pedophile, to which he replied, “No.” He went on to say,

“I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs without intent of sexual contact.”

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Ahh Crap, Celebrities, Music, Rock

Courtney Love’s Marbles – Still Not Recovered

The Hole frontwoman became excruciatingly infuriated when she noticed a fan holding a picture of Kurt Cobain on the second day (November 13th) of Brazil’s SWU Music & Arts Festival.

Though the Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl were not present, Courtney started making random insulting comments about them. She actually walked off stage after she saw the photo, and had her replacement Hole member incite the crowd to chant “Foo Fighters are gay” in order to make her come back.

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Celebrities, Humor, TV

Emma Stone As A Frenchy And A Pervy Old Broad, On ‘SNL’

I’d put her female comedic timing right up there next to the Anna Faris and Jennifer Anistons of this generation. Her dialogue-less physical humor in “Les Jeunes de Paris” and as Kristen Wiig’s inappropriate co-worker in the bridal shower skit were astounding.

I too wish I could give my recently married friends the gift of anal lubricant (“unscented petroleum gel, to ease anal penetration”) and/or human toilets, but alas they have banned me from all events of that type and have restraining orders against me. It’s probably because my laugh isn’t as funny as Emma Stone’s.

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Celebrities, Not For Kids

The Human Head Weighs 8 Pounds, And So Do Jonathan Lipnicki’s Abs

That adorable little nerd from Jerry Maguire is looming past his 15 minutes of fame, how is he doing it? By revealing half-naked pictures of himself, of course. He may be 21 but I still see him as a grinning blonde six year-old, hanging off Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger, not a chin-up bar.

Alas I cannot freeze time and refuse children the right to grow up. And Jonathan Lipnicki has grown up, he’s transformed into a tiny, less-accomplished version of Ryan Reynolds. On his exercise regime, he told Us Weekly,

“The more results I saw, the more dedicated I became, it is such a great feeling to see your hard work pay off. I mean, if I’m gonna skip the In-N-Out burgers, there better be light at the end of the tunnel!…I work free-weights and do circuit training with my trainer 4-5 times a week, I also train in Brazilian Ju Jitsu several times a week.”

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Music, TV, Videos

Beyonce Does ‘Countdown’ With The Roots

If you’re wondering why she didn’t perform “Party,” her more recent single, it’s because this episode of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon was taped several months ago, in July. No clue why it took so long for them to air it.

It did seem suspicious, how not-pregnant Beyonce looks, and how much energy she has. Is she sucking the vitamins out of her fetus, or what? I hope it has enough energy to come out awake, cause Jay and B are going to expect it to serenade them with covers of “Big Pimpin” and “Bootylicious” upon arrival.

The baby was of course, announced at the end of August, so in this video Beyonce is hardly pregnant. What a letdown. Oh well, she remains superhuman.

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Ahh Crap, Celebrities, Scary AF

Kat Von D Says ‘I Deserve A Big Fat I Told You So’

Several months now since her breakup with Sandra Bullock’s ex, Jesse James, Kat Von D is spilling new information on James and admitting that everyone was right to assume that he wasn’t going to change or be faithful to her. She also says she’s tired of being confused with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

On Sunday night the LA Ink star took to Facebook in a post titled “Thank you, Jesse James,” to let her fans and the public in general know everything she was feeling about her “toxic” relationship. (What else would FB be used for? Keeping in contact with people? Pshhh, never)

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Celebrities

Porn Stars Reading To Children? Awesome!

I mean it too, it’s awesome. I have no problem with Sasha Grey or any other porn star reading to children as long as they’re not reading scripts from their adult movies, unless it’s nap time, cause those are really really boring.

This discussion comes from the fact that Sasha Grey, who recently dropped her “Butt Sex Bonanza” career to pursue other things, volunteered for Read Across America and was placed at Emerson elementary school in Compton, CA on November 2nd.

So, amidst her attempts as acting (she landed a role on Entourage, as herself) she’s spending time with children. Who cares? Apparently, everyone. The actual school that she spent the day at is denying she was ever there, though Grey Tweeted it, and TMZ has pictures.

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