Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure rudely interrupted

race for the cure seattle 2014During the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure it started to rain, but not the beautiful rain you love to run around in… Instead, it rained cat feces, cat litter, chicken breasts and a green liquid (Nickelodeon slime?). As it turns out, a lady from the fifth floor apartment that the race was going on by was the cause of the cat poop-throwing rage.

The police say that the women was so angry about the noise the race for cancer was making that she flung cat feces and frozen chicken parts. (Kind like angry birds but with cat poop and chicken.)

On Sunday morning, officers reported seeing a “hail of garbage” fall from a fifth story apartment in downtown Seattle.  Continue reading “Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure rudely interrupted”

L.A. Shoppers Deprived of Plastic Bags, Riot Silently

Almost as sad as Mean Girls now being 10 years old (take some time to process that), a few random laws are effective immediately with the coming of the New Year. Laws such as the recreational use of sticky icky in Colorado (not so sad), and the ban of plastic bags in Los Angeles.

Like every wasteful, gluttony-rooted American, I don’t appreciate being forced to respect the environment.

This country relies on grease, plastic and fossil fuel like France relies on cigarettes, wine-soaked armpit hair and cheese, and on this night and every other I will light a candle for the great loss my Southern Californian friends have suffered. Rest in peace, ye olde plastic bag, with your fragile body so prone to tears.

Continue reading “L.A. Shoppers Deprived of Plastic Bags, Riot Silently”

Trailer: Godzilla

For those looking to fill the void left by Pacific Rim, there’s a new Godzilla coming in spring of 2014.

Directed by relative unknown Gareth Edwards and released by Legendary Pictures, the classic monster flick’s new teaser is narrated by a seriously ominous David Strathairn.

It also stars Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Ken Watanabe, Juliette Binoche and Kickass’ Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is scooping up roles Shia LaBeouf would have been offered years ago, before he became a dreadlock-having piece of penis-flashing performance art.