Justin Bieber Falls Lightly Onto Pavement like a Featherweight Princess

justin bieber falling skateboardA few days ago I awoke to uplifting news of Justin Bieber falling off his skateboard, but upon further reading learned that he was barely hurt and gently drifted across the cement like a single sheet of leftover Christmas tissue paper caught in a persistent breeze.

No carnage, just blonde-headed Justin in dress skating poorly but still better than the average schmo reluctantly eating pavement, about as bruised as a green banana. Continue reading “Justin Bieber Falls Lightly Onto Pavement like a Featherweight Princess”

Paul Walker Dead in Valencia Car Crash

car crash photo Paul WalkerPaul Walker, real-life motor sport enthusiast and star of The Fast and the Furious and Joy Ride, passed away Saturday after on his way home from a charity event in Valencia, California.

Friend Roger Rodas, 38, was driving while Walker, 40, sat passenger in the Porsche that lost control, slammed into a tree and ignited. No other cars were involved in the accident, but police have said that while they do not yet know how fast Rodas was driving, speed “was a factor.”

Walker (September 12, 1973 – November 30, 2013) is survived by his 15-year-old daughter Meadow and her mother, Rebecca McBrain.

Continue reading “Paul Walker Dead in Valencia Car Crash”

Mayor of Charleston Says He Hopes MTV’s ‘Buckwild’ Has a Short Life, Like Shain Gandee

Shaine Gandee buckwildOne of the nine cast members of Buckwild died on Sunday after crashing his car in Sissonville, West Virginia.

The bodies of 21-year-old Shain Gandee, his uncle, and an unidentified friend were discovered in their vehicle after being reported missing 31 hours earlier.

The car’s tail pipe was immersed in mud, causing the authorities to believe the passengers died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Danny Jones, the mayor of Charleston, called for the show to be cancelled.

Of the few cast members on the show already two have had legal issues and now one has died.  The show only enhances the negative stereotype the Kanawha Valley already has. I hope the show’s life is short.  Continue reading “Mayor of Charleston Says He Hopes MTV’s ‘Buckwild’ Has a Short Life, Like Shain Gandee”

There’s No Getting Around It – Oscar Pistorius Meant To Kill His Girlfriend

Oscar Pistorius cryingThere are still friends, family and devout fans of Oscar Pistorius who do not want to explore the possibility that the murder of his girlfriend was not an accident, but if the police and news reports are even remotely correct, there is simply no way that it was.

30-year-old FHM model Reeva Steenkamp was shot four times through a door in the hand and head. Reports suggest that a first bullet hit her in the hip while she was in the bedroom, and that she was later chased into the bathroom. Even if she wasn’t attacked before entering the bathroom, there is little to no chance that Pistorius mistook her for an intruder.

Most people scream (or make recognizable noises of some sort) when their life is in danger…

Continue reading “There’s No Getting Around It – Oscar Pistorius Meant To Kill His Girlfriend”

South African Olympian Oscar Pistorius Shoots and Kills Girlfriend Valentine’s Day Morning

Oscar Pistorius girlfriendParalympic champion Oscar Pistorius, also known as “Blade Runner” and the “Fastest man on no legs,” was arrested today for the murder of his model/law graduate girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Police arrived at Pistorius’ home in Pretoria, South Africa in the early hours of Valentine’s Day, recovering a 9 mm pistol from the scene believed to be the murder weapon.

Early reports suggested that the shooting was an accident and the possibly result of him confusing Steenkamp for an intruder while she was attempting to surprise him for Valentine’s.

Authorities say they had been called to his house multiple times for incidents of “a domestic nature,” and TMZ has learned that Pistorius was arrested in 2009 for assaulting a female companion.  Continue reading “South African Olympian Oscar Pistorius Shoots and Kills Girlfriend Valentine’s Day Morning”

Bobbi Kristina Got Into A[nother] Car Crash And Her Brother Broke Her Heart

In order to write a redneck hit, you need to include alcohol, car crashes and an inappropriate relationship with a family member.

That’s why I’m going to write a country song about Bobbi Kristina.

On Wednesday she got into a car accident where her Chevy Camaro (perfect for my song) was totaled (she was fine) AND revealed, through a bizarre string of tweets, that she and her brother-fiancé had called it quits.

Everybody relax. Bobbi wrote that she is “incredibly fine” (not in reference to her second wreck of the year), followed by a million hashtags that prove it.  #REALperson Xxo #armyofme #onmywon #goingtomakeit#determined, #notastalentedasmymother #whyamifamous  Continue reading “Bobbi Kristina Got Into A[nother] Car Crash And Her Brother Broke Her Heart”

Kristin Chenoweth Almost Dies While Filming ‘The Good Wife,’ TMZ Readers Wish She Had

Howard Stern pointed out on his radio show Thursday morning that Kristin Chenoweth (Glee, GCB, Wicked) received a surprising amount of hate comments on TMZ after she was rushed to hospital for head injuries obtained while guest starring on The Good Wife. 

And it’s true!

One person said “LUCKY THE BITCH IS SHORT… SHE DIDN’T HAVE FAR TO FALL!” while another wrote “I hope her boobs are okay.” How sweet.

The third worst was “Unfortunately, the size of her head is partially to blame” right after the short bitch remark and:

Continue reading “Kristin Chenoweth Almost Dies While Filming ‘The Good Wife,’ TMZ Readers Wish She Had”

Sage Stallone’s Death Still Shrouded In Mystery

As you may know, Sylvester Stallone’s eldest son Sage Stallone was found dead at his home in Los Angeles on Friday. What we still don’t know is the cause of death or many details at all, for that matter.

There were prescription pills in the home but as far as we know they were not on his person or next to his body. His mother, who identified the body, said she only found empty soda cans in the vicinity.

TMZ reports that he had been dead for at least three days and that he lived a very reclusive lifestyle, comparing him to Howard Hughes and calling him “a hermit.”  Continue reading “Sage Stallone’s Death Still Shrouded In Mystery”

Lindsay’s People Point Fingers, Act Like The Mob

As you may know, Lindsay Lohan got into a serious but relatively painless car accident on Friday. Her black rental Porsche was totaled after she rammed into an 18-wheeler on the Pacific Coast Highway.

The truck driver, who was not intoxicated, said that Lohan’s people tried to bribe him and were hiding something in the Escalade that was trailing her Porsche (they were on the way to the set of Liz & Dick).

Continue reading “Lindsay’s People Point Fingers, Act Like The Mob”

Amanda Bynes Can’t Stop Sideswiping

Amanda Bynes got into her third minor car accident on Friday.

The first in 2008 when she “made an unsafe turn” and was hit by another car.

The second you’ll remember from April 6 when she clipped a cop car. The pink-haired mugshot is hard to erase from memory.

I’m not even counting the time she was drunk texting and drove over a curb at a club in Hollywood on April 13.

On Friday night she sideswiped another car with her Range Rover at an intersection while trying to go around the vehicle. The man whose car was hit began following her on top of calling the police.

Bynes played dumb after the law finally caught up with her (a helicopter was even dispatched) and was not arrested or given a citation.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Can’t Stop Sideswiping”

X Games Medalist Sarah Burke Dies After Skiing Accident (September 3, 1982 – January 19, 2012)

Sarah Burke, a Canadian X Games competitive skier passed away on Thursday at 29 years-old after being hospitalized January 10 during a training session in Park City, Utah.

Burke went into cardiac arrest after a failed superpipe trick (a flatspin 540) in which she landed on her head. She was taken by helicopter to Salt Lake City’s University of Utah Hospital where she went into an induced coma.

On the 11th doctors attempted to repair a vertebral artery but Burke did not improve as she had suffered “irreversible damage to her brain due to lack of oxygen and blood after cardiac arrest.” She died surrounded by loved ones – her parents, sister and husband, fellow skier Rory Bushfield. Continue reading “X Games Medalist Sarah Burke Dies After Skiing Accident (September 3, 1982 – January 19, 2012)”