Paula Deen Fires Agent, Seeks Extra Strength Slate-Cleaning Solution

Paula Deen Britney SpearsI’m not sure what you’ve been doing over the holiday. The internet says most of us are eating hot dogs (150 million to be exact) and burning ourselves beyond recognition with both fireworks and gasoline from the grill.

Mildly ignorant Paula Deen has been letting go of all the people associated with her past career as a successful enemy of the American Heart Association (mutual foe of the very real National Sausage and Hot Dog Council) in an attempt to resurrect her current non-existent one as a grammatically challenged member of the Hooded Order.

This includes the firing of her longtime agent, Barry Weiner. (Any excuse to talk about weiners.)  Continue reading “Paula Deen Fires Agent, Seeks Extra Strength Slate-Cleaning Solution”

Baseball Player Demands Mermaid Date

27 year-old Phillies outfielder John Mayberry is determined to catch himself a mermaid.

After Mayberry asked his agent to set him up on a date with Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 mermaid/model/actress Antoinette Nikprelaj a series of emails were leaked regarding the matter…

Continue reading “Baseball Player Demands Mermaid Date”