Justin Bieber Hotboxed a Jet

Justin Bieber weed planeAmidst reports that Justin Bieber drove Selena Gomez to go to rehab when he cheated on her with the girl version of himself (Miley Cyrus), there’s also a rumor that he filled a private jet with so much pot smoke on his way to New York for the Super Bowl that the pilots had to wear gas masks.

Let that sink in. Pilots – who are notorious for popping pills and snorting coke btw – couldn’t handle the amount of weed smoke that had permeated throughout the plane.

Drug dogs at the airpot unsurprisingly found no “unsmoked marijuana,” not because Justin and his crew of Lil’ Zas and Twists were wise enough to cover their tracks, but because they are enormously greedy and likely burned up more than their combined weight (200 pounds?) in weed during one flight from Canada to NYC.

Justin Bieber is Back With Selena Gomez

Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Salt Lake Airport Selena Gomez supposedly broke up with Justin Bieber in November, but now that Harry Styles is unavailable, she seems to have wandered back into Justin’s hairless twig arms for a little love under the Canadian mistletoe.

Speaking of mistletoe, have you ever noticed that people often hang Holly leaves up and kiss under them because they don’t know the difference?

I personally have found that Holly trees do well in cemeteries, which means they like to feed on dead bodies.

Selena probably broke up with Justin because he likes dead bodies. Merry Christmas.

Read: Back On With Bieber! Selena Gomez Snuggles Up With Justin

As You Can See, Jessica Biel And Justin Timberlake Are Ecstatic About Marriage

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were spotted at an Italian airport following their diarrhea goat cheese wedding in Fasano, and it looks like the magic is already gone.

They either saw a ghost, still aren’t used to being photographed or have turned into official married drones. It’s evident in their blank Children of the Corn stares.

Still, we can also never rule out the possibility that they were converted by Scientologists at the arrival gate OR that they were getting into character for a nightly viewing of The Walking Dead. 

Folks take zombie Sunday pretty seriously.

“It’s great to be married, the ceremony was beautiful and it was so special to be surrounded by our family and friends,” J and J said in a statement released Friday.  Continue reading “As You Can See, Jessica Biel And Justin Timberlake Are Ecstatic About Marriage”

Bar Refaeli Wasn’t Mad At TSA For Feeling Her ‘Down’

Israeli Model and #1 ranked on Maxim’s Hot 100, Bar Refaeli, visited Chelsea Lately on Monday, May 28.

She told Handler that her Tweet about an encounter with TSA at the airport last month was blown out of proportion.

Here’s what she wrote on April 17:

“I got a security ‘patdown’ by a woman at the airport that made me feel very uncomfortable and left no doubt about her sexual preferences.”

The comment, which angered a lot of people, may have been taken out of context…. Continue reading “Bar Refaeli Wasn’t Mad At TSA For Feeling Her ‘Down’”

Rapper 2 Chainz Arrested For Owning 4 Rings

2 Chainz, an up-and-comer known for his guest raps on songs like “Beez In The Trap” by Nicki Minaj and Kanye’s “Mercy” was arrested at LaGuardia for having brass knuckles in his luggage.

Chainz (real name: Tauheed Epps) was on his way to a show yesterday in North Carolina when he was reported to the police by TSA and taken in for possession of a criminal weapon.

Epps’ people say the knuckles are actually a four-finger ring with the word “dope” on it and that he had no problem flying out of Atlanta with it in his bags. Technically I’d say the terms “brass knuckles” and “four-finger ring” are one in the same, with the latter sounding a little more harmless, BUT if that qualifies as a weapon what doesn’t?  Continue reading “Rapper 2 Chainz Arrested For Owning 4 Rings”

Taylor Swift Looks Underage Without Makeup

Taylor Swift floated through LAX early yesterday morning looking like a J-Crew kids model with not a stitch of makeup on.

I love that she’s the one rail-thin celebrity who doesn’t have eating disorder comments thrown her way. Blame it on youth and great genetics.

What is that she’s carrying, a keyboard? The clarity of her skin makes me think it’s a min-coffin full of age-defying cream, lotion and green tea face masks.

Oh, and maybe a jar of souls, you know, because everyone has secrets.  Continue reading “Taylor Swift Looks Underage Without Makeup”

Gary Busey Trampled A Woman In Tulsa

According to a recent lawsuit, Gary Busey got drunk and slammed into a 57 year-old woman named Carla Loeffler at Tulsa International Airport in Oklahoma.

The woman, Carla Loeffler, claims that Busey was in a hurry to board his plane and rammed into her shoulder, knocking her to the ground while she was waiting in line.

The lawsuit was filed in L.A. County Superior Court, and states that Busey was busy drinking at the bar, waited till the last minute, then attempted to cut in line in front of the “victim,” thus bumping into her and causing her to sustain injuries which she is now suing him for.

Continue reading “Gary Busey Trampled A Woman In Tulsa”

JWoww Is A Silicon Terrorist

The smartest female cast member on Jersey Shore has been targeted by airport security in North Dakota! That’s what she claims anyway. Jenni “JWoww” Farley was in Fargo for a club appearance (18+ Dance Night & Foam Party at The Hub) but was treated like some sort of terrorist at Hector International Airport.

Apparently, she was minding her own business, drinking coffee, hardly being able to stand due to overweight floatation devices and TSA (Transport Security Administration) pointed at her, then searched her excessively not long after.

She says, via Twitter“Has anyone got “randomly selected” while walking on the plane and asked to “come with them” to be additionally searched? I wasn’t randomly selected cuz I saw the tsa there pointing at me while I was getting a coffee 15 min prior.”

Continue reading “JWoww Is A Silicon Terrorist”

Robert Pattinson Is A Big Rugged Sasquatch

The Twilight Manvira/Kristen Stewart kidnapper was spotted at LAX and then seen arriving in Paris at Roissy Charles de Gaulles Airport on Friday, October 21st with a big bushy Nord beard.

This villainous R-Patz face and chin merkin made an appearance in September but was thwarted by the heroic efforts of our savior: A PAIR OF SCISSORS, SHAVING CREAM, HOT WATER AND A RAZOR.

Plus restraints may also have been used to hold the British lycanthrope (werewolf) down for ultimate face-smoothing results.

I mean, it’s not like Robert Pattinson is ever without a little five o’clock shadow, not to mention eye bags deeper than Trump’s pockets and hair as greasy as Paula Deen’s skillet BUT beards are never a good idea…

Continue reading “Robert Pattinson Is A Big Rugged Sasquatch”

Petey Pablo Sentenced To Three Years In Jail

Hip-Hop artist Petey Pablo has been sentenced to 35 months in prison in North Carolina, the state he was born and raised in. Pablo aka Moses Barrett III plead guilty to the charges in March, for possession of a stolen firearm.

Barrett was at Raleight-Durham International Airport in NC on September 11th, 2010 when security found a semi-automatic 9 mm pistol (that was loaded) in his bag.

On top of that, authorities realized that the weapon was stolen in a home burglary in CA in 2005. He will begin his sentence in December…

Continue reading “Petey Pablo Sentenced To Three Years In Jail”