5 Things To Know About Lindsay Lohan’s New Half-Sister

The results for a paternity test involving a woman Michael Lohan had an affair with in 1994 are here.

It turns out, Lindsay Lohan does have a half-sibling in 17-year-old Ashley Horn.

This all went down on The Trisha Goddard Show, but since there were swabs involved, Maury Povich just had to make a “special guest” appearance.

In an interview before the big reveal, Michael denies ever having contact with the daughter of Kristi Horn Kaufmann but literally nobody believes him because he’s a Lohan, and lying comes as easily to them as being unreliable and drinking vodka out of troughs.  Continue reading “5 Things To Know About Lindsay Lohan’s New Half-Sister”

If You Can’t Figure Out If He’s ‘Into You’ From These Texts, You’re Beyond Help

HeTexted.com is a website for women that is supposed to help them decipher confusing texts from men.

Visitors can comment on the texts and also vote that he’s “not into you” “into you” or “the verdict is still out.”

The page confirms my already-confirmed fears about both genders: men are extremely aloof and women are extremely blind to their aloofness.

One girl’s text reads “It was cool hanging out,” so he says “Yea if you’re out tonight, bring Ali?” The woman has indicated that her friend and his friend were both there, but now he’s asking specifically to bring this Ali girl…  Continue reading “If You Can’t Figure Out If He’s ‘Into You’ From These Texts, You’re Beyond Help”