Amanda Bynes is Still Crazy and High as F*ck, Apparently

Amanda Bynes band aid faceAmanda Bynes is back at it! NY Daily News and TMZ have a video of Bynes doing a bizarre dance in front of her driver at a snooty clothing store on Wednesday before moving on to another snooty clothing store (Barney’s) to get a five-finger discount on a hat.

I repeat, “bizarre dance in front of her DRIVER,” which means she’s moved on from DUIs to petty theft!

Reports suggest that Amanda’s love for weed is to blame, as she was kicked out of fashion school for laughing out loud for no reason and was also seen “visibly high” and “painting her face with excessive amounts of makeup” at a restaurant. She also talks to trees.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes is Still Crazy and High as F*ck, Apparently”

Amanda Bynes Frolics in Bikini, Makes Long-Awaited Return to Twitter!

Amanda Bynes bikini 2014
Amanda Bynes MAY be giving us the success story we wasted our time hoping for with Lindsay Lohan…

After entering a hospital and eventually rehab for driving crazily, smashing bongs and lighting fires in people’s yards, Bynes is seemingly back to her content, sane self – spending time with her parents and attending the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising.

Of all the negative things Bynes was “famous” for in recent years, most know her for her presence on Twitter.

Once the queen of attention-grabbing tweets that often involved calling people “ugly” and getting her vagina murdered, not to mention the posting of one-eyed duckface photos, Amanda B. has quietly returned to social media with short and sweet messages about her fans and her birthday. (She just turned 28.)  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Frolics in Bikini, Makes Long-Awaited Return to Twitter!”

Miley Calls Former Role Model Sinead O’Connor Crazy

Miley Cyrus tongue iheart radio
After reading an open letter from the woman whose song “Nothing Compares 2 U” inspired “Wrecking Ball,” Miley Cyrus subtly screenshotted tweets Sinead O’Connor wrote about finding a psychiatrist, posted a picture of her ripping the pope in half on SNL, and compared her to Amanda Bynes.

While O’Connor’s letter was intelligent and full of valid points, it doesn’t come off as entirely genuine. Publicizing the content of the message seems hypocritical, and it’s hard not to argue that she’s after the same publicity she repeatedly warns Miley of.  Continue reading “Miley Calls Former Role Model Sinead O’Connor Crazy”

Ashley Benson Does Her Best Amanda Bynes

Ashley Benson Amanda Bynes Amanda Bynes and Ashley Benson have almost nothing in common besides, oh, being blonde, having the same initials and starting out on family-friendly TV shows, but that didn’t stop Ashley (of Pretty Little Liars and Spring Breakers) from imitating Amanda on Instagram.

“Doing my Amanda Bynes look this afternoon,” Benson wrote under a photo of her in the full plastic pirate duck face Bynes so frequently makes on Twitter and Vine.

A bunch of people were like *GASP*, don’t make fun of crazy people! (Amanda is STILL in the psych ward for accidentally lighting her pants on fire in a stranger’s yard).

But I’m like, more power to her? It’s not like she actually called Amanda ugly or anything…

Read: Rihanna on Amanda Bynes: ‘See What Happens When They Cancel Intervention

 

Amanda Bynes Sent to Hospital for Playing With Fire

Amanda bynes fireEvery era has its great mystery. In the late 1800s there was Jack The Ripper, then much later, the Black Dahlia, Amelia Earhart and the Zodiac.

Now there’s Amanda Bynes, who is technically still alive but in worse shape than your average rat-eating, street-pooping hobo.

Last night she literally walked into some bitches’ driveway and started a fire. Seriously, TMZ has pictures of the very minimal damage.

Not so minimal is the damage the poor woman who owns the driveway suffered when she saw Amanda Bynes hunched over a lighter in front of her house making duck face and talking to herself.

Back to what I was saying about mysteries. Why was she lighting a fire? Was she cold? Does one of her personalities know she’s a witch and that flames usually kill them?
jennifer lawrence hair on fire gif
Was she always crazy or did she become crazy after she “retired” from acting? Was the crazy just lingering since forever and if so, what triggered it? What’s the cure?  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Sent to Hospital for Playing With Fire”

Amanda Bynes Thinks She’s a Mermaid, or a Rapper or a Rapper/Mermaid

Amanda Bynes green wig court First off, I’d like to congratulate Amanda Bynes on being consistently crazy for over a year since her very first DUI last spring. Lohan 2.0 is really holding her own.

Second, Mandy wore this awesomely stylish getup to court today. Greenish-blue wig, black sweatpants, sleeveless jersey and shades… It’s almost like the voices in her head don’t know they belong to a suburban white girl.

Pretty sure she wore this crap and dyed one of her old blonde wigs to unimpress the judge. Seeing that she’s, you know, pretending to be insane, according to someone else’s publicist.

The hair is kinda mermaid-y. It’s just that mermaids don’t have tattoos and they don’t actually have crabs, they just befriend them. Voices: tell her she’s a sailor, not a mermaid. The identity crisis is getting old.

Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Thinks She’s a Mermaid, or a Rapper or a Rapper/Mermaid”

Rihanna on Amanda Bynes: ‘See What Happens When They Cancel Intervention’

Amanda Bynes and RihannaAmanda Bynes knows this has been a slow Memorial Day news Weekend and is stepping it up for the trainwreck-loving voyeurs. Following an arrest for tossing a lovely multi chamber glass “vase” out the window and claiming a cop “slapped” her vagina, appearance-obsessed Bynes decided to attack Rihanna on Twitter.

“@Rihanna you look so ugly tryin to be white,” she wrote, and deleted. Ten minutes later, she represented Team ignoramus Breezy with a “Chris Brown beat you because you’re not pretty enough,” adding that she almost named her new dog Rihanna.

We can only assume that the cheery-chipmunk-turned-amateur-porn-star with no movies and plenty of electroshock therapy in her future is jealous of Rihanna’s past relationship with Drake.  Continue reading “Rihanna on Amanda Bynes: ‘See What Happens When They Cancel Intervention’”

BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment

Amanda Bynes short hairAmanda Bynes has no hair, no sanity, and according to her, no bong.

After being arrested and charged with unlawful possession of marijuana and reckless endangerment for allegedly throwing a bong out the window of her Manhattan apartment, Bynes tweeted that she doesn’t do drugs at all.

“I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life! I need to get another nose job after seeing my mugshot,” she wrote.

Amanda showed up to court in a messy blonde wig looking like Smurfette after an incestual gangbang.

So… Her shopping list now includes a new bong, more rhinoplasty and a better toupee?  Continue reading “BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment”

BREAKING: Amanda Bynes is Disgusting

Amanda Bynes nakedPhotos featured in In Touch Magazine show Amanda Bynes living in squalor, smoking resin on a mattress with no sheet like a born crackhead. Bynes says In Touch “bought fake altered photos” by the “ugly black man” standing behind her.

“That’s not my bed! Those aren’t my toes! My toes are pedicured!” she whined on Twitter.

Obviously Amanda is f*cking with us. She knows we know those are her nasty, unpedicured fungus toes. She’s playing a game that we should not indulge, but it’s really hard not to. She’s like Jigsaw.

—-> Reminds me of this video.<—-

In Touch’s sources (partygoers) describe the apartment that unquestionably belongs to her as “empty” with spray-painted windows. They also say that Amanda is mentally “all over the place.”  Continue reading “BREAKING: Amanda Bynes is Disgusting”

Amanda Bynes Posts Horrifying Video, Goes off on Complex Magazine and Kid Cudi

Amanda Bynes fish faceOn Tuesday, a day after posing a video of her audition to become the first living Madame Tussauds attraction and several weeks after one-way cybering with Drake and admitting she has an eating disorder, Amanda Bynes went on a Twitter rant aimed at rapper Kid Cudi and Complex Magazine.

In the lengthy message, Amanda talks about how Complex needs to stop writing fake articles and kissing the ass of her supposed ex-boyfriend, Scott Mescudi (Kid Cudi), who she calls an “ugly duckling.”

Disturbing Bynes excerpt #1: Stop acting like I’m doing something wrong. I’m obsessed with myself on twitter. Also, my video last night was perfection.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Posts Horrifying Video, Goes off on Complex Magazine and Kid Cudi”

Amanda Bynes: ‘I Have An Eating Disorder So I Have a Hard Time Staying Thin’

Amanda Bynes eating disorderFor months people have been scouring Amanda Bynes‘ tweets, wondering which mental disorder she has. “Sources” pointed to bipolar and schizophrenia, but Bynes herself has revealed the answer.

From a Thursday night Twitter rant:

I’m suing certain blogs and magazines saying I have a mental illness! They take pictures anytime I’ve gained weight then write a fake story!

I have an eating disorder so I have a hard time staying thin.

They write a news article about every tweet I write and I hate the pictures they choose. They repeat what I tweet then add a bad photo.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes: ‘I Have An Eating Disorder So I Have a Hard Time Staying Thin’”

If Drake Was a Horror Movie Villain and Amanda Bynes’ Vagina Was the Heroine’s Friend…

Amanda Bynes drake I was thinking about what Amanda Bynes said about Drake. (You know, that she wants him to “murder” her vagina.) And I wondered how the murder would occur. I figured the best scenario would be if her vag was the best friend of a horror movie heroine like Laurie Strode in Halloween.

Would he approach it slowly, from behind a tree, or stab it in the shower Norman Bates-style? Does he have a teasing, save-it-for-later mentality, like Leatherface when he put Pam on the meat hook and threw her in a freezer?

None of the above. Because if anyone’s the aggressor it’s her. Picture her ladybits crawling out of a television or asking him if he “wants to play a game.”

Continue reading “If Drake Was a Horror Movie Villain and Amanda Bynes’ Vagina Was the Heroine’s Friend…”

Amanda Bynes Auditioning For Wax Museum Porn?

Amanda Bynes makeover A new photo posted to Amanda Bynes‘ Twitter leads us to believe that she morphed into a full-fledged porn star in a matter of weeks.

It appears she’s taken the eyelashes of an Inglewood drag queen and the hair of an American Girl doll to aid in her quest to become either Courtney Stodden or Jenna Jameson’s stunt double. Easy to disguise oneself with a wig and a box of gunpowder, but what’s going on with her actual face? When she started “changing” it was more like Miley Cyrus going through puberty. Like, she had the body of Karen Carpenter and the head of Ben Roethlisberger…

But now RoethlisHead is gone along with the girl from What I Like About You. And still, no one informed me that auditions for the 4th season of Rock of Love had already begun! #BotoxWink

Twisted Flashback: 5 Most Memorable Celebrity Moments of 2012

Biggest stories of 2012 I like to reminisce about all sorts of thing…. the time I ate a pizza that could easily have fed three John Goodmans, that other time I stepped in a red ant nest and vowed to never put on a dress again, and all the times celebrities wore dresses but forgot underwear.

(Anne Hathaway, thank you for showing me that vaginas can look just as anorexic as collar bones).

Continue reading “Twisted Flashback: 5 Most Memorable Celebrity Moments of 2012”

Amanda Bynes Posts Faceless ‘No Candy Diet’ Photos

Amanda Bynes no candy diet 2Today in Instagram photos, Oprah plays with eggs that aren’t Gayle King’s, and Amanda Bynes gets a few steps closer to never recovering her marbles.

Bynes’ Instagram account (@amandabynes4386) popped up in November, and was semi-verified by Amanda herself. I say this because I can’t believe these recent photos aren’t the work of say, a hacker. I’ve always been one of the few who thought she was more talented than Lindsay Lohan (it’s inarguable that she had a longer career, pre-crazy), and I really don’t want her to be this insanely random and smutty.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Posts Faceless ‘No Candy Diet’ Photos”

Amanda Bynes Plays Nice With A Photographer

Just two days after telling People that she’s “doing amazing,” never drinks, and is moving to New York for a career in fashion, Amanda Bynes is being accused of scratching a photographer.

An eyewitness told E! that it happened around 6 p.m. outside a Mexican restaurant in West L.A. Video obtained by ET shows Amanda repeatedly putting her hands up after an especially aggressive member of the paparazzi started flashing his camera at her.

After trying to convince him to delete some of his photos, saying things like “Let’s get along, I like your shirt” and “You have delete that one of my face… I have to look beautiful” (I’m not making this up, watch the video), she runs away.  Continue reading “Amanda Bynes Plays Nice With A Photographer”

Someone Finally Took Away Amanda Bynes’ Car, Lindsay Wants Her In Jail

When you hear “Lindsay Lohan” and “Amanda Bynes” mentioned in the same sentence, you would likely assume that one came to the other’s aid, since they’re both terrible drivers who love getting stoned and feel “misunderstood” by the public and media.

Surprisingly, Lindsay is NOT defending Amanda, quite the opposite – she thinks Amanda should be in jail.

It’s only fair since she went for violating her probation in 2010 (but only went for 14 of the 90 days due to overcrowding), right?

“Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far?” Lohan wrote on Twitter Sunday.  Continue reading “Someone Finally Took Away Amanda Bynes’ Car, Lindsay Wants Her In Jail”