Little Justin Bieber LOVED Using the N-Word

racist justin bieber video stillWe the blissfully ignorant public have recently learned that between at least the ages of 14 and 15, Justin Bieber had a VERY strong affinity for the n-word…

In two separate videos obtained by TMZ and The Sun, we see a young chuckling Biebs telling a black joke involving a chainsaw and singing the popular church hymn “One Less Lonely N*gger.”

Literally, if I could dip into Justin Bieber’s swear jar I COULD AFFORD TO HIRE AN ASSASSIN TO KILL JUSTIN BIEBER and still be richer than my friends.  Continue reading “Little Justin Bieber LOVED Using the N-Word”

Is it Possible to Over-Apologize For Using a Gay Slur? Jonah Hill Points to Yes

Jonah Hill the tonight show 2014Jonah Hill apologized on both Howard Stern and The Tonight Show for calling a photographer who was following him around a f*ggot within one day of the news breaking.

He honestly seems to feel bad enough without any help from us, and will probably continue to beat the dead horse-shaped piñata of shame for another week.

Hill has made a few strange comments during his lengthy apologies, like “I didn’t mean it in a homophobic way” and “I’m leaving here to go to spend the day with one of my closest co-workers and best friend, who is gay.”

Two of the most cliché excuses for throwing around the other f-bomb and the n-word too. I have a gay/black friend, and I didn’t mean it that way.  Continue reading “Is it Possible to Over-Apologize For Using a Gay Slur? Jonah Hill Points to Yes”

Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’

Starbucks 666A Baton Rouge woman who bought coffee at a Starbucks at the Mall of Louisiana received a large amount of both humorous and concerned comments after sharing a picture of her two drinks.

With a matching “666” and pentagram art drawn in caramel, the woman, Megan K. Pinion (so close to the ultra satanic “minion”) wrote that while she was “in no way judging” the beliefs of the barista, she judges his “lack of professionalism and respect for others” and was “appalled” by the imagery.

“I am a teacher in the public school system and if I were to present a child of atheist or pagan believers with a Christian art project I could be sued in a heartbeat,” she stated.  Continue reading “Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’”

Shia LaBeouf: ‘I Am Retiring From All Public Life’

Shia LaBeouf bananaThe manchild whose career flourished with Transformers and died once he grew his hair out says he is retiring.

After ripping off graphic novelist Daniel Clowes and paying thousands of dollars to write a “creative” apology in the clouds,  Shia LaBeouf is bowing out from the spotlight. At least we hope he is.

“In light of the recent attacks against my artistic integrity, I am retiring from all public life,” LaDouche wrote on Twitter. “My love goes out to those who have supported me.”

How faint would the memory of him ever being famous be if he wasn’t doing things like announcing his retirement, skywriting, and acting like the entire world asked to see his penis and he’s simply obliging us?

UH OH… Blue-Eyed, Blonde-Haired Julianne Hough Painted Herself Brown

Julianne hough crazy eyesRyan Seacrest’s former beard Julianne Hough is in hot water over a Halloween costume that many would agree is distasteful.

Hough attended a party on Friday all made up like Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black and then apologized after everyone freaked out, because apparently blackface is only okay and/or funny when a good actor like Robert Downey Jr. does it.

“I am a huge fan of the show Orange is the New black, actress Uzo Aduba, and the character she has created,” Hough wrote on Twitter. “It certainly was never my intention to be disrespectful or demeaning to anyone in any way. I realize my costume hurt and offended people and I truly apologize.”  Continue reading “UH OH… Blue-Eyed, Blonde-Haired Julianne Hough Painted Herself Brown”

Take Your Butter Money and Run, Girl: Paula Deen Fired From Food Network

Paula Deen apology videoPaula Deen, Mistress of Carbs, maker of delicious, oozing vodka-soaked chicken with chocolate sauce and essence of Hostess Twinkies, has been terminated by the Food Network after she attempted to apologize (twice) for casually admitting that she uses the n-word.

Before telling the public they’d chosen not to renew her contract, the Food Network issued a statement assuring everyone that they do not tolerate bigotry no matter how delicious the bigot’s food is.

“Food Network does not tolerate any form of discrimination and is a strong proponent of diversity and inclusion. We will continue to monitor the situation,” they clarified.

Mrs. Deen and her people scrambled all day to set it right, booking an appearance on the Today Show that was eventually cancelled in favor of a second apology video (first HERE).

Clumps of mascara circled her eyes like helicopters behind Snoop Dogg’s house as her tears [and the tears of her fans] soaked into the ground and gave all the worms and moles severe chest pains and a sudden shooting pain in their arm.  CLICK to watch the video…

Megan Fox Apologizes For Telling The Truth About Lindsay Lohan

Megan Fox Esquire 2013Megan Fox apologized on Facebook for calling her Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen co-star Lindsay Lohan an unreliable actress with a lot of potential.

While explaining in an interview why she had her Marilyn Monroe tattoo lasered off, Fox drew comparisons between her (Marilyn) and Lindsay.

“She wasn’t powerful at the time. She was sort of like Lindsay. She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable. She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered,” she told Esquire.

Fox said on Facebook that she wanted to clarify her comments before “something silly” happened.  Continue reading “Megan Fox Apologizes For Telling The Truth About Lindsay Lohan”

The Wanted’s Tom Parker Is Still Talking About Bitchy Christina Aguilera

Tom Parker, the squirrely, Josh Hutcherson-looking member of The Wanted, called Christina Aguilera a “total bitch” after performing “Chasing The Sun” on The Voice.

In June, he rubbed a photo of her on his butt and crotch at a New York radio station and said,

“She might not be a bitch in real life, but to us, she was a total bitch, she just sat there and didn’t speak to us. Wouldn’t even look at us.”

Later Parker told TMZ “We apologize for the comment,” after mentioning that the other judges were “nice” and Christina was lazy and lacked manners.  Continue reading “The Wanted’s Tom Parker Is Still Talking About Bitchy Christina Aguilera”

Stevie Nicks Apologizes For Saying She Would Have Laid The Smack Down On Nicki Minaj

Stevie Nicks is apologizing for saying that if she’d swapped places with Mariah Carey during the infamous Nicki Minaj feud she would have gone to jail for murdering her.

“If I had been Mariah I would have walked over to Nicki and strangled her to death right there. I would have killed her in front of all those people and had to go to jail for it,” she told The Daily.

In a written apology, the 64-year-old Fleetwood Mac singer blames exhaustion.  Continue reading “Stevie Nicks Apologizes For Saying She Would Have Laid The Smack Down On Nicki Minaj”

Paris Hilton Apologizes For Making Fun Of Her Gay Friend

People are looking sideways at Paris Hilton lately because of comments about gay men that were secretly recorded in a New York taxi. The key part of the story is that she was in the car with her friend, an openly gay model.

Now, what she said was not by any means admirable, I just understand how it could have happened.

In the recording, confirmed as authentic by Paris’s own publicist, she says, “Gay guys are the horniest people in the world” and “most of them probably have AIDS.”

The most of them have AIDS thing was in reference to the gay hookup app Grindr, that she was being shown by her companion.  Continue reading “Paris Hilton Apologizes For Making Fun Of Her Gay Friend”

Am I Naive To Still Think John Travolta Is Not Guilty?

Call me crazy, optimistic, and behind the times. But I’m still not sure if that whole John Travolta masseuse story is true. So when I say “not guilty” I don’t mean that being gay is something he should be ashamed of.

However, [allegedly] whipping out his two-faced twig and berries to multiple strangers and yelling about “homosexual Jewish men” would definitely be something to be ashamed of.

Last week in an interview with Spinning Platters Rashida Jones started talking about her love of Frank Ocean, who recently revealed his sexuality. Eventually the conversation led to her mentioning that John Travolta should also come out.

Continue reading “Am I Naive To Still Think John Travolta Is Not Guilty?”

Dane Cook Makes Joke At Expense Of Colorado Shooting Victims And ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

Dane Cook made me laugh in his Comedy Central Presents special from 2000. Since then, I chuckled at the movie Waiting… which he is in, though it was mostly at Anna Faris. He was also surprisingly okay alongside Kevin Costner in Mr. Brooks.

I haven’t thought much about Dane Cook since Mr. Brooks except that when Daniel Tosh made that crappy rape joke at the Laugh Factory I heard he was lurking in a shadow somewhere nearby.

Now that Cook is making untimely jokes about the Aurora theater shooting I can no longer ignore his existence as a formerly overrated comedian who was finally getting the amount of attention he deserved (barely any).  Continue reading “Dane Cook Makes Joke At Expense Of Colorado Shooting Victims And ‘The Dark Knight Rises’”

Kristen Stewart Issues Public Apology For Cheating On Robert Pattinson With A Married Man

I heard about Kristen Stewart‘s “affair” with the director of Snow White and the Huntsman yesterday before I went to see The Dark Knight Rises (which would have been terrible without Anne Hathaway and Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and shrugged it off as rumor.

Cheating scandals in the news are easy to disregard, especially when “a source” or multiple anonymous sources are involved.

I read that there was a picture of K-Stew sucking face with married 41-year-old Rupert Sanders and couldn’t find it – another reason I thought it was fabricated by imaginative reporters. Alas, it wasn’t some Star or Weekly World News story.  Continue reading “Kristen Stewart Issues Public Apology For Cheating On Robert Pattinson With A Married Man”

Daniel Tosh Makes Rape Joke At Heckler’s Expense Then Apologizes, Poorly

A female audience member at a Daniel Tosh (host of Comedy Central’s Tosh.0) set took offense to a rape joke and in turn was humiliated beyond the call of duty.

A friend of the woman wrote in detail about the incident on her blog:

“I yelled out, ‘Actually, rape jokes are never funny!’ I did it because, even though being ‘disruptive’ is against my nature, I felt that sitting there and saying nothing, or leaving quietly, would have been against my values as a person and as a woman.

I don’t sit there while someone tells me how I should feel about something as profound and damaging as rape.  After I called out to him, Tosh paused for a moment. 

Then, he says, ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…’”  Continue reading “Daniel Tosh Makes Rape Joke At Heckler’s Expense Then Apologizes, Poorly”

Crouching Geisha, Hidden Cash – Zhang Ziyi Earned $110 Million Over The Years, For Sex?

What sounds like (and has to be) a completely bogus rumor has been circulating about Chinese actress Zhang Ziyi.

The woman who starred in a slew of popular movies from 2000 to 2005, including Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Rush Hour 2, House Of Flying Daggers and Memoirs Of A Geisha has been accused of being a VERY high paid escort.

Boxon.com and the Hong Kong gossip paper Apple Daily wrote that the actress was paid over $1 million U.S. dollars a night to sleep with politician Bo Xilai.

The defamation continues with her amassing a legendary $110 million over the past five years for sleeping with various high-profile government officials.  Continue reading “Crouching Geisha, Hidden Cash – Zhang Ziyi Earned $110 Million Over The Years, For Sex?”

Metta World’s Unpeaceful Elbow To The Head

Metta World Peace (formerly Ron Artest) was suspended for 7 games after his brutal hit to Oklahoma Thunder’s James Harden. In a statement to reporters after the game last on Sunday, April 22 where he apologized profusely.

“I got real emotional and excited, and it was unfortunate that James had to get hit with the unintentional elbow. I hope he’s okay. Oklahoma, they’re playing for a championship this year. I apologize to the Thunder and James Harden. It was just unfortunate.”

Continue reading “Metta World’s Unpeaceful Elbow To The Head”

Mark Wahlberg Could’ve Stopped Those Pesky Terrorists

Marky “Good Vibrations” Mark told Men’s Journal that he could’ve prevented United Airlines Flight 93 from crashing into the World Trade Center by kicking some terrorist ass like in one of his movies.

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did, there would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.'”

Then he talked about jerking off, hating Sarah Jessica Parker movies and crying during The Help, but not at the same time.

Continue reading “Mark Wahlberg Could’ve Stopped Those Pesky Terrorists”